okay hello before you read this and yell at me remember that dani's confused and so is michael and so is ashton and so is luke and so is fuckin calum so keep it in mind that everyone's confused and they don't understand their feelings and all that shit alright bye

-

Saturday night I was alone - again. It really wasn't anything new and I normally wouldn't be bothered by it, but tonight I felt different. And I felt bad about lying to Ashton, of course, but there was nothing I could do to try and fix that.

I called Luke and asked what he was doing (I also apologized, because I felt bad) and he said something about hanging out with Brooke, so I didn't want to bother them and be their third wheel yet again. I felt that I had been enough of a bitch to Luke in the past few weeks and I didn't want to make things worse, so I decided to leave him alone.

If things were normal again I would have called Michael and asked him to come over, and I really, really wanted to, but I knew that I couldn't. I was still having trouble figuring Michael out and I knew that both of us were still confused, and I didn't want to risk making everything even more confusing.

So since my parents weren't home (such a big surprise) and I had nothing else to do (even though I told Ashton that I did - I was still mad at myself about that), I was spending my Saturday night sitting on the couch and playing around on my phone, desperately trying to find something to do until I was tired enough to just go to sleep, because there was nothing else worth doing.

It was around 9:30 at night when the doorbell rang, and I took my own sweet time to go answer it. Obviously I didn't think that it was anybody important, so I didn't rush.

I should have rushed.

I pulled open the door to find Michael standing on the front porch. He didn't look any different than he normally did, just more tired and a little bored. Like he was unamused with the way I'd taken a little over a minute and a half to answer the door.

"Hi." I said, taking a step forward.

Michael didn't answer, he just folded his arms across his chest and stared back at me.

"Are you going to say something?" I asked, "Or are we just going to stand here and stare at each other all night?"

I was kind of trying to lighten the mood a little, just because I didn't understand why Michael was here. I mean, clearly he had a reason, but at the moment I could tell that he wasn't going to budge any time soon.

Michael cracked a tiny smile and took one step closer to me, leaning against the doorframe with his arms still crossed against his chest.

"Okay, I'm serious. Are you just going to stare at me?" I asked. Michael nodded.

"Do you want to come inside?" I asked, and Michael stepped forward into the house, allowing me to shut the door behind him.

"I've really missed you." I sighed, deciding to just come right out and say it. "And I'm sorry for whatever I did to make you upset you. I just wish you would, I don't know, just talk to me again."

Michael smiled again, biting down on his bottom lip. I was really trying to be patient with him and just ease him into talking to me again, but I was starting to get annoyed.

"Can you please say something?" I begged. Michael shrugged, the stupid smirk still on his face, and that just made me roll my eyes at him.

"Please, Michael. I just... I hate this. You're my best friend, aren't you? I'm supposed to be able to tell you anything and you're supposed to do the same for me. We shouldn't have to go weeks without speaking to each other. That's too much. I need you, Michael, you can't just shut me out for no reason. I miss you. I want you - " Michael cut me off.

"I think I'm the only person in the world that still plays Flappy Bird, but I beat my high score last night and I thought of you." He said, and I couldn't even begin to explain how happy I was to finally hear his voice again.

"What?" I gaped back at him, not even understanding why he would said that. I was still in shock that he'd actually decided to talk.

"I thought of you." Michael shrugged.

I stood there in silence, staring back at Michael as I tried to determine what to say next. I was kind of expecting us both to apologize to each other, not discuss high scores on Flappy Bird. I deleted that app, anyway, I didn't even care about it anymore. I didn't think that it mattered anymore. The quietness between us was almost unbearable, and I think Michael caught on, but what happened next wasn't really wasn't I had planned out in my head.

Michael rushed forward at the same time as I did, cupping the sides of my face in his hands and forcefully bringing our lips together. I wasn't even startled, or caught off guard, because I immediately brought my hands to his waist, tugging on his shirt in an attempt to get him closer to me.

I had never kissed anyone this way before, not even Ashton. This kiss was so full of lust and passion, and for a moment I forgot that it was Michael that I was kissing, and not someone like Ashton. Someone that I loved. I felt wanted, and needed, for the first time in a very long time and it was hard for me to wrap my head around the fact that it it was Michael making me feel this way.

But I didn't even feel guilty about it. I would have thought that if I was kissing my ex-boyfriend's best friend I would probably feel some form of regret, but the only thing I really felt at the moment was Michael's lips against mine and his hands feeling over my body, and that's all that mattered to me. It was like all of my other thoughts and worries seemed to magically disappear, and the only thing that I could really think about was how good kissing Michael felt.

It took no time at all for his tongue to slip into my mouth, moving against my own and creating more heat between our two bodies than there had been before. His lips furiously worked against mine, and they responded back with an equal amount of hunger. Michael's hands roamed all over my body, like he was trying to feel every inch of me before it was too late. He probably thought that I was planning on pushing him away soon, but I wasn't.

The amount of desire between the two of us was obvious, but I could also feel that Michael was still angry with me, and that's why he was acting with such intensity. I felt like this was his way if taking out his anger on me, and I honestly didn't mind. Michael took my bottom lip between his teeth and bit down softly, his hands tightly gripping my hips as we started walking backwards.

"Parents home?" Michael asked, his hands slipping up under my shirt. We were slowly making our way towards the stairs, though I didn't think we were going to make it to my room on time.

I pulled away from him for just a second and lifted the shirt over my head, letting it fall to the ground behind me. Michael's eyes opened wide as he took in my newly exposed skin, his lips immediately moving to my chest.

"Business trip." I said, trying to hold back a moan as Michael sucked on my skin.

"Shirt." Michael nodded, bringing his lips back to mine again. I brought my hands up to his chest and began to unbutton his flannel, desperately trying to get it off as fast as I could without breaking the kiss.

"I can't - " Michael paused, catching his breath as he threw his shirt onto the floor, "We're not going to be able to get upstairs."

"I'm not having sex with you on the couch." I said, out of breath, letting my fingers travel to the ends of Michael's hair.

"So we're going to have sex?" Michael stopped, resting his forehead against mine. He kept his hands on my hips, his breathing heavy as he waited for my response.

"Are you serious?" I questioned, raising an eyebrow at him.

Michael only nodded and leaned in again, bringing his lips to mine once more and picking up just where we had left off.

"So," Michael said in between kisses, "no stairs?"

I really didn't think that there was any way that we could get up the stairs without tripping. We literally couldn't keep our hands off of each other, and if was still trying to think of exactly why we were both acting this way.

I really hated to say it, but I think that I was using Michael as my rebound. I was sad and lonely without Ashton and now I finally had someone else to do all of the things I used to do with Ashton and I wasn't thinking at all about how Michael might be feeling. I felt awful, but I couldn't stop myself.

"Mhm," I agreed. I grabbed the back of Michael's neck and brought myself closer to him, joining our lips together again. "Living room?"

"No, no. Kitchen." Michael said. He turned and pushed me against a wall, pressing his body as close to me as he could.

"How do you even - " If Michael hadn't cut me off by kissing me again, I would have never even thought of having sex in the kitchen, I honestly didn't think that I had it in me to do something like that, especially with Michael.

Michael grabbed the belt loops of my pants and pulled me towards him so my hips met his, a low groan coming from the back of his throat as my fingers tangled themselves in his hair. He pulled me away from the wall, slowly leading me towards the kitchen.

I wasn't even looking, I was blindly allowing Michael to lead me to wherever he thought was a good enough place for us to do this, and I was still not thinking about all of the possible outcomes of what was actually going on.

"Oh wait, here's good." Michael chuckled, pushing me against the edge of the dining room table.

"Michael, we eat here." I laughed, but I hopped up onto the table anyway and wrapped my legs around Michael's waist, pulling him closer to me.

"We'll just have to clean things up before Charles and Samantha come home, won't we?" Michael say, his lips attaching themselves to my neck, leaving long, sloppy, kisses on my skin.

"Do you have a condom?" I asked, running my hands down Michael's chest and tugging on his belt buckle.

"Yes." Michael nodded, but he grabbed my hands and brought them back up to his neck again, which didn't make sense to me. I thought that Michael wanted this as well, at least that's how he had been acting.

"So you were expecting this?" I questioned, pulling away for a second. I raised my eyebrows at him, unsure of why he was suddenly carrying condoms around with him.

"I was expecting to have sex." Michael laughed, kissing me again. "With Sarah, that's where I was going."

"So you're ditching her for me?" I asked. Michael's hands moved to my waist again, giving my sides a squeeze and tugging me closer to him.

"Yes?" He said innocently, chewing on his bottom lip.

"Alright." I shrugged, wrapping my arms around Michael's neck again and leaning in to kiss him again.

"Wait, wait." Michael said, but continued to kiss me. We didn't do anything else for a while, I just sat on the edge of the table while he stood between my legs and his lips worked against mine. "Dani...Dani we can't."

"What?" I questioned. Michael kept kissing me in between every word he spoke, like he couldn't get enough of me, or he was trying to get enough of me before it was too late.

"I can't do this - " Michael mumbled, his lips still on mine. He left lots of short kisses, which I kind of liked, because it was something I wasn't used to. Well, this whole thing was something I wasn't used to. "I can't do this to Ashton."

"But..." I let myself trail off and brought my hands to the sides of Michael's face, gently cupping his cheeks. They were wet, and that's why I finally decided to actually open my eyes and look at him. He was crying.

"Dani," Michael said, giving me another kiss. "I actually came here to talk to you about something."

"Then talk." I mumbled against his lips, letting my fingers move to his hair.

"I need your help." Michael said, his lips sucking on my collarbone. I suddenly stopped focusing so much on trying to kiss him back and pulled away a little, wondering what Michael was talking about.

"Michael... What do you mean?" I asked.

"I did a really, really bad thing."

I felt like I should be done with people coming to me and saying that they've done bad things. It was ridiculous now, and I was beginning to wonder how I'd managed to get myself mixed up into something as crazy as this. But Michael was my best friend, and even though we were in a bit of an awkward situation right now, I needed to help him.

"Michael," I tried to talk, but Michael was kissing me again. I really didn't get it, because he was crying, yet he was still sitting here and making out with me like he didn't have a care in the world. I decided not to question it, because I knew Michael and I knew that he had his reasons, so I just let it go. "You need to tell me what you did."

"I can't tell you." Michael cried, finally pulling away from me. I hopped down off of the table and came towards Michael again, even though he was slowly backing away.

"If it's a really bad thing and there's a possibility of someone getting hurt then you have to tell me, Michael, please." I said, suddenly getting worried. Whatever Michael did has to have been really bad, because I know that it probably took a lot for him to come to me seeking help.

"I just - " Michael's voice broke and he was overtaken by a wave of sobs again. He covered his face with his hands while I stepped forward and wrapped my arms around him, letting him lean on me while he cried. After a few minutes, he calmed down. "I need you to call Luke."

"Why?" I asked, already making my way to the living room to find my phone.

"I need you to call him and make sure he's okay." Michael said, following after me.

"This has something to do with Luke? What's going on?" I turned around to face him, my phone in my hands. Michael glanced at the clock on the end table near the couch and started to cry even harder.

"Dani, please just call him, I'll try to explain it all sometime later just please, please call him." Michael sobbed. He sat down on the couch, grabbing a pillow and covering his face with it while he continued to cry.

I quickly called Luke, who was thankfully at Brooke's house already and safe from whatever was going on, and told him everything that Michael had told me. Luke had a lot of questions, and so did I, but I had no answers and I know that Michael wasn't in the position of giving any. Luke listened to me, though, and promised that he wouldn't let Brooke leave the house for at least a day or two until we could figure out what was going on.

"Can you please tell me what's happening?" I asked after I'd hung up the phone, taking a seat next to Michael.

"I - I had a plan t-to - " Michael tried to talk, but he was crying too hard and I couldn't even understand him. "I can't tell you, Dani, I can't."

"Michael, you have to tell me. You can't ask for my help and then not tell me what's going on." I sighed. I scooted closer to him and awkwardly grabbed his hand, and it felt weird to touch him even though we were literally all over each other a few minutes before.

"I can't do it." Michael sobbed, leaning his head on my shoulder while he continued to cry. "I'm s-sorry, I can't tell you now. I-I can't talk about it."

"Can you talk about something else?" I asked, because I felt that maybe if Michael and I tried to start a different conversation he might be able to distract himself, and feel better.

Michael nodded and sat up straight again, using the backs of his hands to wipe away the tears that had fallen from his eyes. "I have to tell you something else." He whispered.

"Okay." I nodded, letting him know that I was ready to listen.

"You have to listen to me, please." Michael said slowly. He turned on the couch so he was sitting with his legs underneath him and I did the same, taking both of Michael's hands in mine.

"Okay." I said again, waiting for whatever Michael had to say. I was nervous, to say the least, and confused about a lot of thinks, like why I'd just been so open to the idea of having sex with Michael when it was something that I hadn't really thought much about before. I didn't know what he had to say, or what was going on with him, and I couldn't help but feel worried about all of this.

Michael sat still for a minute and looked up at the ceiling, like he was thinking very hard about what he was going to say. Finally, he spoke again. "Come here."

I crawled a little closer to Michael and he grabbed my waist, pulling me onto his lap and attaching his lips to mine once again. I lazily moved my lips against his while I brought my fingers back up to the nape of his neck, tugging gently on his hair.

"Dani," Michael muttered, pulling away for a second. "Do you like this?"

"What?" I asked.

"This." Michael said, leaning in and kissing me again. We stayed like that for another few minutes, because there was something almost telling me to keep kissing him.

Finally, Michael pulled back again. "Do you want this?"

I really wasn't sure how to answer, because of course I liked this, but it didn't feel right. I loved Michael, I really did, but not the way that I think he loved me. And he didn't deserve to have me sit here and lead him on, pretending that I felt a certain way about him when I really didn't.

Michael swallowed hard, his eyes meeting mine again. I put a hand on one of his tear stained cheeks, using my thumb to wipe away a few extra tears that had slipped out.

"Because, I-I think I love you, Dani, but I'm not sure that I like this." Michael whispered, speaking slowly like it was taking a lot of work for him to say every word. "I mean, I don't think I like the idea of you...and me."

"I'm - "

"You belong with Ashton, not me." Michael said, reaching out and tucking a stand of hair behind my ear.

"Michael..." I trailed off, not knowing what else I was supposed to say. Everyone seemed to think that I belonged with Ashton and that Ashton belonged with me, and I believed that, too. I was just too stubborn to make something happen.

"Do you like this? Us? Like, just the idea of it actually happening." Michael questioned again, which just made me feel like I was under even more pressure to answer him. I didn't want to hurt his feelings, but I knew that I would just make him feel worse in the long run if I said that I liked us and then realized that I really didn't.

"Well, yes, but - "

"But it just doesn't feel right, right? This isn't what's supposed to happen between us, it's wrong it's - " Michael rambled on, and this time I cut him off.

"It's not exactly wrong - "

"You belong with Ashton. Things are right with you and Ashton and I don't want to get in the way of that." Michael insisted.

At this point I was just wondering what was going to happen between Michael and I now that we'd done this. I mean, we never actually had sex, but we were still a lot more intimate than friends like us were supposed to act. Now I was afraid that things would get even crazier now that this has happened between us.

"What are you trying to say?" I asked.

"God, Dani, I don't know." Michael groaned, rubbing his hands over his face. "I feel so stupid."

"You're not stupid." I assured him, playing with the ends of his hair a little more.

"I love you. But, I care about you enough to tell you that I don't - I can't be with you." Michael said, and the way he said it made it seem like he was asking a question.

"Why not?" I asked. "I mean, I understand, but why are you saying this? If you love me, then why aren't you trying to do anything about it?"

"Because I know that you love Ashton, and he loves you, too." Michael continued. "You'd be a lot happier with him, not me."

"Michael, I'm so sorry." I let out a big sigh, suddenly feeling like I was going to cry. I felt so awful about this, because Michael loved me and now he was telling me that he didn't even want to try because he knew how much I loved Ashton and didn't want to get in the way of that.

"Hey, don't cry. Dani, it's alright, I promise. I'll get over this." Michael said softly, and this time he was the one to reach out and stroke my cheek.

"I just feel so bad, I can't believe that I - I don't know why - " I stammered out, barely able to speak because I was so overwhelmed now.

"It's okay, really." Michael whispered, leaning in so close that his nose brushed against mine. "This isn't your fault."

"But I feel like it is. And I'm just so confused, because you're right, I do love Ashton, but then there's you - "

"But I'm trying to tell you that I don't want you to love me anyway, because I know that you'll be much happier with Ashton than you would ever be with me. I'm broken, Dani, I can't be fixed, and I have to much baggage for us to ever be something. I know that you don't love me the same way that you love Ashton, and I'm okay with that." Michael explained, and I let out a sigh of relief. Hearing that from him made me feel better about this, not completely better, but better.

"I'm sorry." I said again, feeling that Michael needed to hear it one more time.

"It's okay, you don't need to apologize." Michael said, letting out a small chuckle. "Don't they say something like, if you love something, let it go?"

"I think that's right." I said, finally letting a small smile spread across my face.

"Then that's what I'm doing." Michael said, and I nodded in response.

"I am sorry, though, about all of this." Michael gave me a small smile.

"All of this." I repeated, nodding slowly, then added, "Are you going to explain what exactly all of this was?"

"What do you mean?" Michael asked.

"Like," I took a deep breath, because now that I was finally on good terms with Michael I didn't want to do anything to upset him again. "That day back at your house, when you were saying that I messed up all of your plans - "

"I can't tell you about that, Dani." Michael said quickly, shaking his head. "Not yet."

"Will you tell me sometime, though? Sometime soon?" I asked. I was just curious about what all of that was about, and especially what Michael was talking about earlier tonight, when he made me call Luke. I'm sure that he would tell me all of it sometime in the future, but I was concerned. Whatever was going on seemed like it was really important, impotent enough for Michael to freak out like that.

"I'll tell you eventually, I promise." Michael promised, nervously chewing on his bottom lip again.

"Alright." I nodded, though I was still unsure.

Michael leaned in again and left a short kiss on my cheek before laying back down on the couch, and I shifted into a move comfortable position next to him rather than on top of him. That's where we stayed for the rest of the night, until we both eventually drifted off to sleep.

-

this ending really sucked lol I got too caught up in writing the almost smut that I forgot about the important stuff

ok so just remember what I said up top that dani is confused and michael came into her house all like "hey imma fuck you wait no im not call luke wait I wanna kiss you wait no you love ashton" and the whole time dani's like "I love ashton but mICHAEL" me too dani me too

and that part where michael had dani call luke was so confusing I know and I'm sorry but I'll make sense eventually just bear with me

THIS ISNT TURNING INTO A MICHAEL FANFIC I SWEAR DONT WORRY MURWIN WILL BE BACK IN FULL FORCE SOON