Work was busier than usual dahil malapit ng matapos ang taon.

Kung dati I was burdened with worry kung alam ko pang gawin ang trabaho, I didn't have time to indulge in any self-defeating thoughts dahil sa workload na walang tigil sa pagdating.

Malimit na din kaming mag-overtime para matapos ang mga urgent na transactions.

Sa sobrang dami ng trabaho, I even forget to take breaks.

Kung wala si Liezl, hindi ko maaalalang kumain.

Once in a while, dinadalhan niya ako ng pagkain lalo na kung may time magluto si Shirley  o di kaya ay lumalabas kaming dalawa to have lunch para makawala sa office.

Pero kahit gaano kami kabusy, may mga tao who still has time for gossip.

Nasa CR ako one time when two women came in.

I recognized the voice of one of them as Mabel's.

How can I missed it eh dahil sa sobrang high pitch ng boses niya, she reminded me of Matutina from John & Marsha.

Pinag-uusapan nila kami ni Liezl.

Kesyo sobrang close daw naming dalawa.

Hindi daw siya magugulat kung there's something going on between us.

I was done with my business inside the cubicle kaya binuksan ko ang pinto para lumabas.

Para siyang nakakita ng multo dahil bigla siyang namutla.

Pati ang kasama niyang babae, hindi natuloy sa paglalagay ng lipstick.

"If you have nothing good to say about other people, you should shut your mouth." Hindi ko na napigil ang sarili ko.

Hindi nakapagreact si Mabel.

Lumapit ako sa sink to wash my hands at tumayo sila ng kasama niya sa gilid.

Nakikita ko na naninigas ang katawan niya sa takot.

When I went outside the bathroom, hindi ko napigil ang mapangiti.

Duwag naman pala ang mahaderang iyon.

Mula ng first day ko sa trabaho, hindi ako kinakausap ni Mabel.

Buti na lang at magkaiba ang mga accounts na hawak namin kaya I have no reason to talk to her work related or otherwise.

I try not to let her attitude affect me pero iba kapag ako na mismo ang nakawitness ng paninirang ginagawa niya.

I'm not going to remain quiet at hayaan na lang siyang magkalat ng tsismis.

I don't care kung makarating sa HR ang ginawa ko.

Kaya ko siyang harapin.

With all the repressed rage na meron ako lately, I can handle whatever.

During our lunch outside the office, sinabi ko kay Liezl ang nangyari.

Nagulat siya but she was also relieved.

She told me that Mabel has a reputation as a rumormonger.

The bad thing was, marami siyang kapanalig.

"Ewan ko ba kung anong pull meron ang tsismis." Sabi ni Liezl.

"Kahit alam nila na hindi totoo, they couldn't resist to engage in it."

Habang naglalakad kami papunta sa parking lot, I noticed a woman na kahit saan ko makita eh makikilala ko dahil matangkad, payat at akala mo eh model na naglalakad sa runway.

She had on dark sunglasses at ang tingkad ng red lipstick.

"Estee!" I called out ng magkalapit kami.

"Lise?" Inalis niya ang sunglasses.

She kissed my cheek at sinulyapan si Liezl na tahimik na nakatingin sa amin.

"Kumusta ka na?" Halos tumili siya sa tuwa.

Matagal na din kaming hindi nag-uusap kahit pa we got each other's number.

"I'm good." Hinarap ko si Liezl.

"This is Liezl, my officemate. This is Estee, friend ko."

Nagkamay silang dalawa.

"Ano nga pala ang ginagawa mo dito?" Tanong ni Estee.

"I work close by."

"You're working?" Nagsalubong ang perfectly arched eyebrows niya.

Tumango ako and gave her a knowing look.

Her face lit up in understanding at buti na lang at hindi slow ito si Estee.

I haven't told anyone about Dan or my marriage situation.

Si Nel lang ang nakakaalam ng lahat.

"Siyanga pala, before I forget, do you have Nel's address?"

"Oo. Bakit?"

"I wanted to give her a surprise for Christmas."

"Sure. I will text you. By the way, Canadian na siya officially."

I do know.

The night of her oath taking, online kaming dalawa.

I was helping her find an outfit.

We both chose the dark blue long-sleeve paisley shirt, gray suit and gray slacks that she paired with blue shoes.

Nagpagupit pa siya kaya clean cut and so adorable with her girl-next-door appeal.

Gusto ko siyang i-kiss pero she wasn't anywhere near me which I think was a good thing.

Baka hindi lang kiss ang ibigay ko sa kanya.

I gushed over how cute she looked and felt something warm in my chest.

Nagexcuse ako to get a glass of cold water bago ako mag-overheat.

I thought nakaligtas ako from Nel.

When I came back from the kitchen, tinukso niya ako.

"Baka main-love ka ulit sakin ha?" Her eyes almost disappeared from her face dahil sa smile niya.

Humigpit ang hawak ko sa baso.

"Ang sabihin mo, baka mainlove sa'yo si Maricar kapag makita ka niya." I deflected.

"You're defensive." Tumawa siya.

"No, I'm not." Pinagpapawisan ako kahit hindi naman mainit sa kuwarto ko.

"You totally are." Ayaw niya talagang tumigil.

"Lise," Umupo si Nel sa gilid ng kama, "don't worry. Alam ko naman na hindi pwedeng mangyari."

Ako naman ang natigilan sa sinabi niya.

"What do you mean?"

"I know you're situation. Right now, what you need is a friend not a lover."

Baka ako makasagot, tumayo na siya at pinasok sa closet ang damit na isusuot.

Hindi ko masabi na I felt sad sa sinabi niya.

Does this mean we have no chance of being together again?

Technically, you're still married.

A little voice in my head said to me.

How can I forget when everyday of my life, I sign my name on documents using my married name?

Dahil fifteen minutes na lang ang natitira sa lunch namin, nagpaalam na ako kay Estee.

She asked if I'm free during the holidays.

"Punta ka sa bahay para makapagkuwentuhan tayo. Gusto din i-celebrate ni Nanay ang pagiging Canadian ni Nel eh. For sure matutuwa iyon kung dadalaw ka."

"Sige. I will text you."

We hugged and said goodbye.

Nang makaalis na siya, sinundan siya ng tingin ni Liezl.

"She could be a model." Comment niya.

"You won't be the first person to say that."

Tinanong din niya kung sino si Nel.

I gave her a more acceptable answer.

"Kapatid ni Estee."

Akala ko, titigil na siya sa pagtatanong.

"Friend mo?"

Tiningnan ko siya.

Her expression was a mixed of curiosity and caution.

Na parang she already knew the answer but didn't want to assume unless she was proven wrong.

"I guess you could say that." Was my careful response.

Ngumiti si Liezl.

"I understand. We just met. But when you're ready to talk, I'm here." Makahulugang sabi niya.

Tumuloy na kami sa parking lot para makabalik na sa office.

Mabait si Liezl at mapagkakatiwalaan siya but I'm not ready to trust anyone about my personal life.

I keep remembering what Nel told me.

Nandito ako para magwork at hindi para makipagclose.

Although it does help to have someone to confide in, I also have to remember na hindi alam ng family ni Nel ang nangyari sa amin dati.

When she commented na baka mainlove ako sa kanya, I was taken aback dahil hindi lang isa o dalawang beses pumasok sa isip ko ang possibility na iyon.

We are closer than ever.

Hindi siya nakakalimot magpaalala sa akin to take it easy, to have a good day and to take care of myself lagi.

Sa umaga kapag online siya, she keeps me company during breakfast and I do the same thing while she's having her take-out dinner ng paborito niyang McDo.

I worry about her health lalo na at she doesn't eat healthy.

We take care of each other sa paraan na pwede naming gawin.

Kung nandito siya sa Pinas or kung nasa Canada ako, I'm sure we can do more.

With all the thoughtfulness na pinapakita niya sa akin at ako sa kanya, nararamdaman ko na unti-unti na naman akong nahuhulog.

Pero sa urong-sulong na ginagawa naming dalawa, kelan kami magkakaroon ng lakas ng loob to admit na what we have, what we felt, was more than friendship?