Ship: Brendon/Ryan
Words: 552

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I don't need to knock anymore. He told me I can come in whenever I want.

Tonight, we decided to go out for a while. He has a watermelon smile and his eyes are bright in the city's lights. We go out and explore the stores and shops around town, he buys me books and even a couple CDs from a record shop.

We walked through the neon lights, passing everyone but there are no neon lights and there is nobody else. All I can see is him and I.

And it kills me. I'm falling but he's still not gonna catch me.

I'm going to hit the ground and just like that, I'll be gone.

I think I've fallen in love tonight.

By the time we get home, we're both exhausted, but we still have grins on our faces. His much lighter than mine.

"How was that?" He asks, setting a few bags on the ground beside the door and kicking off his shoes. I smile and hug him, "it was amazing..."

He hesitates. I think he's going to back away and tell me to stop.

He hugs back.

And then he kisses my forehead.

I feel my cheeks flush at that. His lips resting on my forehead. It's... it's nothing more than just a friendly kiss, right?

"Let's go to bed and we can talk for a bit, Kay?"

I nod softly and follow him up to his bedroom.

I shut the door softly, making sure it latches and turn to Brendon who's pulling off his shirt.

My cheeks go red as I watch him, taking in every detail of his chest and his abs and the V leading to his jeans. My hand grips the knob of the door when he walks over to me on slow feet, tilting his head.

"Why don't you want to live?"

"I... There isn't really a purpose..." I whisper.

He sighs and pulls me to the bed with him so we're lying down, "Money?"

"It's just something greedy people keep to themselves to try to make their life worthwhile..."

"Family?"

"They have their own lives to care about. I barely visit them. I love them but they're not really worth it..."

"Love?"

My breathing hitches and my fingers tangle in the sheets.

"He'll never love me back..."

"Who?"

"Nobody." I whisper quickly.

"Ry...? Look at me..." I shake my head. Please...

Why is he so persistent? Why can't he just leave me alone?

"Ryan," he says harsher.

I turn, tears lining my eyes and look down in shame, straight at his stomach.

"Who is it? I can help you if you want..."

I shake my head and smile softly, "How could he love me? I'm out of my mind..."

"I'm sure he'd understand..."

I look up, "He does. He's looking right at me... but to him, we're just friends..."

He only smiles back.

And then he forces his lips on mine and climbs on top of me. His hands weaving in my hair and our lips moving in sync. I wrap my legs around his waist and my arms around the back of his neck all while he whispers, "I've always loved you." Over and over into my ear.

And I've found a reason to live.