I can feel his eyes trained on me, knees to his chest with his arms draped over them. I just inhale and exhale my blunt, trying to keep my mind off of it.

But just as I expected, he breaks the awkward silence.

"Is there any reason as to why you smoke?" Tyler asks quietly, but he blushes soon after and continued, "I mean if you'd be comfortable with telling me..."

I shrug, exhaling through my nose, "To distract me. Not have to think about the world."

Tyler swallows, then nods, lowering his head, "S-So like... an alternative to something like... self-harm?"

I look him right in the eye and nod, "Yeah, I guess."

He swallows and after a moment, asks, "D-do you think I could... y'know... try?"

I sigh and look over at him, giving him a gentle look, then finally just nod a little, "Just one drag."

Tyler smiles a little and, after I show him how, he takes one long drag and passes it back. I swear I can see his head going to the stars and back down.

"I really only smoke it to distract myself from the world and shit, and the fact that one lace on your shoe is longer than the other, or that my hair will never be perfectly neat." I say quietly, "It reminds me of home, I guess."

Tyler gives me a sad look and finally just sighs and plucks the joint from my fingers.

"Maybe you don't have to suffer in silence."

And he kisses me.

I kiss back.