What's going on?...I'm so—I'm so cold...I can't—I can't think straight. I can't...My brothers...I see their faces...

Sweat is dripping down my forehead. But if I'm cold...why am I sweating? What's going on? It feels like a heavy fog has settled over my mind. I toss and turn, but I can't escape...It's like I'm going in and out between this world and the world of my subconscious.

"Donnie! Donnie don't!"

Whose voice was that? Was that my voice?

"DONNIE NO!" Crash!

What am I hearing?

The fog cleared a little and I could finally see what was going on. I—I remember this!

We were seven years old...Donnie...Donnie had wanted to go scout the sewers. At that age, we were allowed to go out as long as we went in pairs. After a little convincing, Donatello somehow managed to get me to agree to going with him. We were doing fine, until we reached the edge of what Master Splinter had dubbed 'the safe zone'. We weren't allowed to go any further than that and I turned around and began to head back. But a small, delicate hand on my shoulder held me back.

"Please Raph, just a little bit farther!"

I remember shaking my head. "No way, Donnie. Master Splinter says..." I stopped short and stared at his pleading eyes. I found myself unable to say no. But I was still reluctant. Master Splinter had already given me a time-out today for roughhousing with Mikey. I wasn't eager to earn another punishment. My eyes narrowed and I raised an eye-ridge at him. "You better not say anything to Master Splinter."

He beamed at me and I remember that it made me want to grin.

"Thanks Raphie!" He crowed, latching onto my plastron in a very cuddly hug. Donnie always was a cuddler. Donnie hasn't hugged me like that in a long time...

My mind fogged out a little and something cold brushed across my forehead and made me shiver violently. And within seconds I suddenly found myself sucked back into the abyss, where the memory once again began dancing before my eyes.

It shouldn't have been able to happen. Those wires shouldn't have been there. There was no reason for them to be. I still don't fully know why they were and I can't bring myself to care.

Donnie dragged me deeper and deeper into the dark tunnels of the sewers where large piles of debris had collected. He chuckled in delight as he found some parts that would be useful to him for something-or-other. I watched with a small smile as my immediate younger brother run about from pile to pile, pulling everything and anything he found interesting. Then a strange crackling sound made me look up. Wires? I raised an eye-ridge. Why were their live wires down here? My eyes narrowed suspiciously as it crackled once more. It was dangling dangerously from the top of the pipe above us. I remember the horror that struck me as I realized it was about to break. Donnie was moving to the area right below it.

"Donnie! Donnie, don't!"

He was focused on something up high in a pile of debris. He probably just assumed I was worried about him going too high. "Hold on Raph, I've almost got it..."

SNAP! Whatever was holding the wire up broke and it came down fast, straight towards my younger brother.

"DONNIE NO!" I shoved him out of the way, but not in time to save myself. "AH!" All I felt was pain. I remember feeling my muscles twitch out of my control. My eyes closed and I fell. The last things I remember hearing were Donatello's screams.

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Don's POV

I don't know what to do. I can't stop pacing up and down my lab. And when I finally began to feel like I couldn't even do that alone I began pacing up and down the main room where I am currently driving my brothers nuts. But I can't stop. I can't stop.

I haven't felt this helpless since I was seven...when Raph...

That whole incident was what inspired me to become the family medic. Because I couldn't stand the tension of following Sensei around, watching what he was doing and being unable to comprehend or help.

I was completely devastated. Raphael had gotten hurt because I didn't listen to Sensei's rules. I made him go farther than we were supposed to. He didn't want to, but I forced him. And he got hurt...

I can still remember the way his scream of pain echoed through those tunnels as that live wire struck him. I can't help but shudder at the memory.

"Donnie! Donnie don't!"

"Hold on Raph, I've almost got it!"

"DONNIE NO!"

I clench my eyes shut as tears run down my cheeks.

Raph almost died that day. Fortunately for us, we'd been gone longer than usual and Sensei had been out looking for us. He heard Raphael's scream with those sensitive ears of his and came running. "Raphael! RAPHAEL!" He cried as he ran over to us. He carefully avoided making contact with the live wire as he scooped my red-masked brother up into his arms and felt for a pulse. His eyes widened. "No!"

Now, I realize that shock had stopped Raph's heart. Back then, I had no idea what was going on.

I watched Sensei immediately begin pumping Raphael's chest frantically. There were tears in his eyes.

"Please no! Please do not take my son from me!" He murmured under his breath even as I watched.

After a few pumps he checked Raph's breathing and there was no response. Finally, on his third try, Raph was breathing again. Sensei sighed in relief with tears in his eyes and pulled Raphael close to his chest. "Oh, Raphael...my child...my little child." Then he looked at me, as though realizing I was there for the first time. His eyes scanned me up and down, briefly checking for injuries and when he was certain there were none he stood and motioned me to follow. "Come Donatello. We must get your brother home."

On our way back to the lair we moved quickly. When we got inside Leo and Mikey immediately looked up, and as soon as they saw Raphael tucked gently in Sensei's arms, his arms sporting several bad burns and his neon green eyes closed, they immediately sprang up and ran over to us.

"Raphie?!" Mikey asked, as though he was expecting an answer. When there was none, our baby brother's eyes began to water.

"What happened?" Leo asked.

Master Splinter sent me a short sideways glance and frowned. "I do not know, my son. But I suggest you be very thankful that Raphael will be alright. We came very close to losing him today."

I can still remember the way Leo's eyes filled with horror at the prospect. He'd been so much more expressive back then.

I followed Sensei as he carried Raph into the dojo and my other brothers were close behind.

"Donatello, please tell me what happened." He commanded softly.

Tears came to my eyes. "I—I—and he—we—"

He lay Raphael down on the tatami mats and immediately began tending the red-masked turtle's burns. "Breathe, my son, and please just tell me what happened."

"I—I asked Raph to come with me cause I wanted to get some stuff for my invention."

Splinter nodded. "Go on."

"Well...we went to the edge of the safe zone and...and..." I lowered my voice. "I begged him to let me go just a little further. He didn't want to, but I begged him and..."

Splinter lowered his eyes. "Hm. I see."

"I found these really great piles and I was getting stuff. And Raphie started yelling at me to stop, but I—I—didn't listen.  And he shoved me out of the way and then..." I couldn't take my eyes off of Raphael's motionless form. I jumped forward and hugged him gently. "I'm so sorry Raphie." I murmured softly as tears ran freely down my cheeks. 

I felt so helpless. I couldn't do anything to ease my older brother's pain. And it was all my fault. I was so worried.

I feel the same way right now. And Sensei won't even tell us what's going on.

Oh Raphie...What's happened to you? Hmm...I wonder...

I drop into a lotus position and close my eyes. I can feel my brothers turning to stare at me curiously. I ignore them. But then Leo just has to go and ask.

"Donnie...What are you doing?"

"I'm trying to reach Raph's mind." I answered flatly as I opened my eyes just enough to glare at them.

At my answer, Leo immediately came over and folded into position beside me. I raised an eye-ridge. "It'll be stronger if we all do it together."

I stared at him in shock for a few moments before nodding. Mikey grinned and joined us. We sat in a triangle and all concentrated on our brother.

"Raphael..." Leo murmured.

Suddenly we were overwhelmed by a swirl of emotions and images.

*Donnie! Donnie don't!*

My eyes widened. No...it can't be...Raph's thinking of that day?

*DONNIE NO!*

All of a sudden, pain exploded across our senses, shocking us and throwing our focus. We opened our eyes to the lair around us and exchanged horrified glances. I pressed a hand to my plastron as I struggled to calm my frantically beating heart.

"What was that?" Mikey asked.

Leo and I were silent. There was no real answer to that. Except...

"Raph's in pain." I said evenly, trying to conceal my concern.

My eldest sibling put a hand on my shoulder with a very solemn expression on his face. He stood and walked straight to the dojo. His knuckles rapped loudly on the door.

"Come in." Sensei's voice called from within.

Leonardo's posture was strong, firm and absolutely rock hard. I suddenly realized that he wasn't going to take 'not now' for an answer. Our brother was in trouble. Our brother was in pain. And Leo was going to find out why.

"Sensei." He said evenly, and Splinter glanced up at him.

The old rat was sitting on the floor in a meditative position, as we had been mere minutes ago. He straightened at Leo's expression and frowned. He let out a long, slow breath. "You have made contact with your brother, then."

Dark blue eyes narrowed. "Hai, Sensei."

Splinter sighed.

"He's in pain, Father." The rat's eyes brightened at Leo's use of the term father and his shoulders drooped.

"Leonardo..." He began softly.

"The truth, Father. What's wrong with him?"

Splinter shook his head. "I'm sorry, my child. But even I do not know how to fully answer that question. He has touched something he should not have. He has a fever and is delirious. That is all that I am allowed to tell you."

"Will he be alright?" Leo demanded.

Our father lowered his gaze. "Adachi assures me that he will be fine. He has fought through the worst of it."

There was something in Sensei's tone, though, that said otherwise.

"But?" I asked, calling our father out on his hesitation.

He sighed again. "I fear that what Raphael has done will change your lives forever."

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Well, how was it?