This is a very special treat for you guys! I went through all my documents for this story and found several in progress chapters. Eventually I just decided that I could take a few hours to wrap up one of them and get it out here for you all! I know you've been waiting a long time for this and I'm very sorry, but I have been way more busy this semester than I expected to be! Between my performing arts clubs and my classes, it's been a real shell of a time! Things are coming to a close in all my classes now and I have a lot of tests and things to be studying for, but you guys really deserve this considering how long I've kept you waiting and you are still out there supporting this story and have been waiting patiently, so I felt that this needed to be done! Hope you enjoy! And it's long, so be ready!

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Raph's POV

It's been one week since Master Adachi mailed those letters to my bros. I think it'll be at least another couple of days before I hear back from them. If I hear back from them, that is. They don't have to write to me, after all. Although, I have to admit if they didn't...I'd probably be a little bit pissed. Okay, make that very pissed. After all, if I took the time to write them a letter, the least they could do is reply.

Well—I'm not expecting Leo to reply, but I hope that Mikey and Donnie do. I know this sounds really pathetic, but I really miss those guys. And I miss Leo, too. After going without him for two years, missing him isn't exactly an unusual sensation. If anything, I miss him even more because of that. But I don't think he'll write me back. He has a lot of other things on his plate, I'm sure, like keeping those little brothers of ours in line while I'm gone. Besides, he didn't answer the last time I wrote him letters. Of course, that was when he was still in South America, and the letters were actually rants about how he should come home, but still...he could have answered me. It would have made me feel a lot better.

What made it even worse was that Mikey sent him a letter around the same time and he replied to Mikey. I even asked Mikey if I could read it to see if Leo mentioned anything about me or my letter. I finally managed to convince my youngest sibling to show it to me, and there wasn't a single word. Maybe Leo didn't realize it, but I had poured my heart and all the emotions that I had hidden away and pent up into those letters. And not one damn word. Not a single goddamn word.

As much as I hate to admit it, even a simple 'tell the hothead to cool it' would have been enough. I was already going through a hard time when I'd written Leo the letter, and more than anything else, I had wanted my older brother's reassurance. Earlier that week I had gone up topside alone and almost got rubbed out in the middle of gang shoot-out. Needless to say, Donnie and Splinter weren't too pleased when I came home with three bullet wounds and collapsed from hypovolemic shock.

You know, I don't think any of us ever told Leo about that. Eh, I probably shouldn't tell him. It would just make him freak out. But anyway...

I was already dealing with the fallout from that whole gang-thing. And then Leo wrote to us saying that he was going to stay in the jungle even longer. I remember that I was so full of mixed emotions that I snapped twelve pencils before I could even write a single word.

When Leo replied to Mikey's letter and not mine, I took that as a sign. Leonardo didn't need me anymore. He'd moved on with his life. So I decided that I needed to move on with mine.

Not long after that, Nightwatcher began rounding up low-lives and pickin' the scum off the streets.

"Stop trying to contain them. Let them flow." Master Adachi's words from earlier came back to me. My fists went lax and dropped down to my sides.

As I closed my eyes and took a deep breath, my hands started to shake. And then everything went red. For the first time in my life, I allowed my anger to consume me.

I've had lapses in the past, I've lost control, but I've never submitted to it like this. A primal cry rose up from deep inside of me. I collapsed to my knees. My hands gripped my sais so tightly that my knucklers turned white. The prong-like blades dug deep into hard, cracked dirt of the courtyard. As my cry lingered on and on, drawn out and growing increasingly painful, my strength waned. Any rigidity there might have been in my muscles was lost. I could feel my anger ebbing out into the ground. I threw myself back and lay face-up, staring up at the sky. It was blue and beautiful.

Warmth spread through me. I closed my eyes, my body faint and listless. I feel like I'm floating away...

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Six thousand seven hundred and thirty-eight miles away, in the depths of the New York Sewers, Master Splinter and his eldest son circled each other slowly. Michelangelo and Donatello watched from the side with interest. It had been a while since they had really gotten to see Leo in action, and sparring with Master Splinter was always when their blue-masked sibling was at his finest. They all were, really. They had to be if they didn't want to get whooped by their father's mad ninjitsu skills.

Leo and Splinter were circling, preparing to go in for a strike. Don noticed the glint in Leo's eyes and the shift in the blue masked turtle's weight and knew that his big brother was about to leap, but then, the next thing the two younger turtles knew, both their father and their brother completely dropped their guard. Splinter swayed a little and leaned against his cane, while Leonardo completely crumpled.

"Master Splinter?!" Michelangelo shot forward to help but Splinter gently brushed the youngest turtle away.

"Leonardo?" The old rat asked, his face darkening slightly as he saw his eldest son's current state. He bent down and cupped the forest-green turtles face gently. "Leonardo? Can you hear me, my son?"

"What was that?" Leo asked, winded and breathless.

Don moved forwards slowly. "What? Are you two okay?"

Splinter looked over at his purple-masked son and nodded, but Donatello still came forward and helped Leo up. He threw one of the leader's arms over his shoulders and yanked his older brother up onto his feet. Leo leaned liberally against him, but Don's fears were lessened as he realized that, for the most part, Leonardo was standing upright on his own. What bothered him most was the crazed look in his big brother's eyes: worry, concern, pain, and confusion all rolled into one with an added dash of frantic urgency just to bind it all together. He'd never seen Leo look so out of control. Except—No, he wasn't going to think about that right now.

"What's going on, Leo?"

Leo stared at his younger brother as though the brainiac had just spoken to him in a language he couldn't speak. "You—" His dark eyes strayed over to Michelangelo, who looked just as clueless as Donnie. "—You didn't feel that?"

The two younger turtles looked at each other and shrugged. "Feel what?"

"Raphael." He said, sounding lost. As ever, in his moment of vulnerability, Leonardo turned to our father.

"Yes, Leonardo. I, too, felt it." Splinter confirmed with a severe nod of assent.

Mikey and Don looked at each other. Don cleared his throat to get their attention. "Then why didn't we?"

"It could be that Leonardo and I are simply more spiritually sensitive than the two of you, but I suspect that it has more to do with contact." The old rat sent his eldest son a very reprimanding glare. "Leonardo, you have been contacting your brother spiritually, even though I asked you not to do so."

"I have not been contacting him, Sensei, I have merely been...monitoring him."

Splinter's eyes narrowed and it immediately became evident that he was not amused. "It is still contact, Leonardo. And you will face punishment for disobeying my orders. But right now," Splinter swayed again and this time, he allowed himself to lean against Michelangelo.

Leo's concern resurfaced and Donatello had to fight to push down the panic that was slowly bubbling inside of him. "What's going on?"

Splinter turned his back to the three of them and refused to answer. Don reached out and gave his eldest brother even more support as Leo began to shake.

"Sensei, please send me to Japan, let me help Raphael."

"No! That is out of the question!" The rat yelled, thumping his tail on the ground. Immediately all three of his sons fell into silence. The tail thump meant that the matter was not up for further discussion.

"What's happening to him, Father?" Leo asked. His voice was so vacant, so far-away sounding, that it made Donnie's hands tighten on the blue-masked turtle's shell. Mikey, too, was riddled with tension, clinging to Splinter's robes.

"He is learning."

"I could feel it, Master Splinter! I could feel his spirit crying out to me! Waves of pure anger and rage! How is that helping him?! How is that training?!" Leo shouted, his own emotions and concern for his sibling taking over.

Splinter sighed. "What you felt, my son, was the magnitude of anger that Raphael has been compiling inside of him over the past sixteen years. Before there can be control, one must master the ability to relinquish it. Raphael has taken the first step of his training, my children. He has set his anger free."

"But Sensei, we've seen what Raph's like when he loses control. He's extremely destructive. He doesn't even realize what he's doing. Isn't that dangerous?"

"Yes. As I have told him, anger is a dangerous ally, but that is precisely why I asked Master Adachi to train your brother. Raphael will not be able to overpower him or harm him in any way."

Donatello's eye-ridges wrinkled. "How do you know that?"

Splinter avoided their questioning gaze. "It just an old legend, my children. Something you need not concern yourselves with right now." Splinter shuffled over towards the dojo door. "Get some rest, my sons. I need to meditate."

As the old rat trudged down the hall, Don could have sworn he heard Splinter whisper:

"You need not concern yourselves with legends...yet."

Those words sent a cold shiver down his spine. Something was very, very wrong with this picture, and he had absolutely no idea what.

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When Master Adachi returned form his journey to town that afternoon, he had that week's mail in tow. Raph turned over the thin, slightly yellowed envelope a few times in his hands, before finally tearing it open and dumping the contents out on his bed. Like the letter he had sent his brothers, inside it were several separately folded pieces. He plopped down on the low kakefuton and drew his legs in to sit cross-legged. The first of the letters he picked up was penned in the small, neat, spidery handwriting of his father.

My dear son,

I must admit that I am quite concerned. Adachi informed me of what occurred and I had hoped that he would spare you his legendary obsessions, but apparently it is not to be. Do not put your faith in the tales that he tells you my son. They are not your concern, nor should they be in any way related to your training. I have sent you to Japan to learn to control your anger, not for you to start believing in fantasies.

Raphael's eyebrows furrowed. This was very strange coming from his father, who usually expressed the desire for his sons to believe in the power of the spirits and the individual powers that they held deep inside of them. Splinter respected the old ways and everything that they stood for, so why was the old rat so determined to discourage him from Adachi's tales of the stone and its power? Besides, Raphael had felt the power of the stone for himself. It had jolted him so harshly that he'd been unconscious for almost two days! And now Splinter was telling him it was all a fake? It just didn't make sense.

Take care of yourself, Raphael. I hope that you are being respectful of your new Sensei. Do continue to write to your brothers and myself, we appreciate the gesture, even the mundane will satisfy them, they are all very worried about you. Donatello is...quite perturbed by your absence. He has been growing increasingly bitter towards Leonardo, who, I'm certain you're aware, misses you greatly. Your brothers are not the same without you, Raphael, and I fear they will not be whole again until your return. Nor, for that matter, shall I. I miss you very much, my son. I expect you to devote yourself to your training and return to us on time, for any delay will certainly make your brothers and I most uneasy. Soon it will be a month since your departure and already your brothers are anxiously awaiting your return. Be well, my son, write soon.

With love,

Father

Raph's eye-ridges crinkled. He—really wasn't sure how to feel about that letter. Aside from the strange nature of the first paragraph, two things caught the hothead's attention. The first was that Donnie was acting weird and the second was that Leo missed him. Leo? Missing him? That seemed strange. He hadn't expected it. He knew that Donnie and Mikey would miss him. Of course they would miss him, but Leo?

But, then again, why not Leo? Leo was his brother, too. Leo had just as much a right to miss him as Mikey and Donnie did, but—Raph just hadn't expected that from Leo. Leo was always just so—Leo. Mr. 'I can't show my feelings because I'm the fearless leader' Leo. Yeah, Leo was his brother...but somewhere over the past few years Leo had stopped being a brother and become an authority figure, someone who pushed him around and bitched at him for being out past curfew. Leo just wasn't Leo anymore.

Maybe that was why Raph had been so upset when Leo never replied to the letters he'd sent to South America, because it had proven beyond all doubt that the Leo he thought he knew as gone. The subsequent long-awaited return of the prodigal son had brought Raphael no joy, because what little he had left of his older brother had gone away to jungle and died there. Leo never really came back. What returned was a rock-hard magnate wearing his brother's mask and carrying his brother's swords. It wasn't Leo. It wasn't his brother.

It wasn't the Leo whose face he'd imagined as he collapsed in a pool of his own blood with three bullets in his side, while around him, his younger brothers' frantic cries and pleading whispers begged him to hang on.

He'd killed a man that night. Sure it wasn't that big of a deal, they'd all killed before at some point or other, but he'd paused right after and stared at the blood on his sai. Raph still wasn't sure how he'd felt at that moment, but the one thing he'd wanted more than anything else was a firm, reassuring hug from his older sibling. He remembered thinking that as he watched the guy's lifeless body slump down to the ground. He was so distracted that he hadn't heard them—the other men—sneaking up on him from behind. By the time he sensed them, he knew it was too late, but even in those final moments, the only thought that passed through Raph's mind was that Leo would be so pissed at him for letting his guard down.

When Leo had come back, Raphael was mad. He was mad because his brother had left and the only thing that had returned was a cold, heartless disciplinarian who cared nothing about how much his younger siblings had been hurt by his absence. Leo didn't care. He just didn't care! He thought that Raph would just smile and pat him on the shoulder and say 'aw, it's so good to see you bro, welcome back'. Fuck that!

Leo had left them completely in the dark and without a word! For all they knew he was dead! Splinter said he wasn't, but Splinter has been wrong before. What the freak did fearless expect Raph to do? Just pretend it never happened, that it didn't hurt! That he hadn't lost his brother?! Raph had been filled with resentment in those early days.

Then came the stone army generals, and the prophecy, and the rain...and the rooftop. Raphael shuddered. His father's letter, now completely forgotten in the light of this line of thought, fluttered slowly to the ground. Raph's eyes stared blankly at the thin sliding panel on the opposite side of the room and allowed his mind to be sucked back into that difficult time.

That night was easily one of the three worst of his life.

The first was when he'd been pummeled by an army of Foot ninjas and tossed through a skylight. His brothers never spoke of that day, but Raph knew they thought about it every time he was injured or got in over his head. He did, too. Even now, after all the injuries he'd suffered over the years, that was, by far, the closest he'd ever come to death. The pain, the never-ending slough of blows, and finally, opening his eyes to find his older brother slumped over on a stool at his side. He could still remember the set of Leo's shoulders. The anguished look of self-reproach, worry, and guilt on Fearless's face was something Raphael would never lose sight of.

Though it might seem strange, that incident had reminded Raphael that Leo cared. The blue-masked turtle's actions made it difficult to see sometimes, but Leo cared, he cared a lot more than Raph gave him credit for. And he still did.

The second was the night Splinter told them that Leo was going to South America for a year. He'd stormed out of the lair. Leo hadn't said anything to stop him, but Raph had seen the disappointment in his older brother's eyes as he'd left. He didn't say goodbye, but he'd caught up with Leo topside and watched his brother sneak aboard the boat. It had seemed unreal, yet as the boat finally pulled away from the dock, a crippling weight had come crashing down on Raphael. He could still remember how much it hurt knowing that his only older sibling just left them behind.

And the third...was that night. The rain, the lightning, the rooftop, the two of them. Leo's voice ringing loud and clear over the wind that whistled across their faces. Every snarl and grunt as they spun in their deadly dance. Shell.

Raph dropped his head in his hands.

He'd broken Leo's swords. He'd come so close to killing his own brother in a fit of rage. As far as he was concerned that made him hardly fit to live. Leo had forgiven him, but could anyone ever really forgive something like that? How did his brothers do it? They'd always forgiven his faults, countless as they were. They loved him in spite of it all. In that respect, he was the lucky, he knew. That was why he had to do this, no matter what it took.

He had to learn to control his anger to prevent those things from happening in the future. He couldn't hurt them anymore. It was bad enough that he'd hurt them as much he did. Why they would miss him, why Leo would miss him, he had no clue.

Sure, Leo had forgiven him, they'd patched things up, and finally, Raph caught a glimpse of his long-lost brother behind the mask. Raph still felt distanced from Leo, but he could understand why. Leo and Raph were always close by mutual understanding of one another, but two years apart had changed both of them and they couldn't really read each other very well anymore. In truth, they were closer than they had been in years, but only on a superficial level. On an emotional level, they had difficulty relating.

Considering that Raphael's emotions ran deep into the very center of his being, that lack of in-depth understanding had unbalanced him. He was used to Leo and Don being able to take his emotional cues and know what he needed of them. Mikey, well, Mikey was different, Mikey always knew exactly what Raph was feeling, but oftentimes Raph's little brother misinterpreted the signs and poked a particularly sore spot, which resulted in a fiery outburst.

Raphael shook his head. I'm running 'round in circles. He thought with a sigh. No point wasting anymore time thinkin' about that.

His hand remotely lifted the next letter from the pile and spread it open. There were a few pages to this one. His mouth closed and his eyes widened. Elegantly slanted, sweeping letters inscribed neatly and concisely on a sheet of clean white paper contrasted boldly from the warbled, slightly shaky print of his father, but contained a similar measure of formality.

"Leo." He whispered, stunned, slightly hesitant to believe his eyes. He chewed his lip and hesitated to read the text. He wasn't really sure that he wanted to read a three-page lecture from Leo. Bad enough he'd just spent the last ten minutes pondering why in the world his older brother would miss him. He'd rather not have that idea spoiled just yet. Leo probably was just mad at him for making them worry.

Raphael took a deep breath and steeled himself before returning to the letter. His eyes moved slowly across the page.

Dear Raph,

I've always found it hard to write down what I really feel. This time is no different. It's so difficult to write letters when you're in a strange place far from home. I understand that completely. I'm relieved to know that you're alright. We were all very worried. As for this mountain sanctuary you wrote about, it sounds absolutely beautiful. You're right; I'd probably love it up there if your vague descriptions were anything to go by.

Vague descriptions? What the shell did Leo want? Poetry? Raph thought, raising an eye-ridge and huffing a little. He wasn't exactly sure what to think. Leo seemed really mellow. Other than the mention of how worried they were, there was no indication of a lecture, which was unusual for Fearless, but—in a way—that was kind of nice.

So...tell me more about your new Sensei. What's he like? Is he strict like Master Splinter? You said that he has a crazy training schedule and that he's making you practice your Japanese. That's a wonder in and of itself. I didn't think anyone could make you do anything. Maybe this 'Master Adachi' could teach me a thing or two.

"Oh you're just so smug, Fearless!" Raph snickered, rolling his eyes.

Raph...there are several things that you wrote in your last letter I'm going to call you out on here. First of all, no more of this 'don't give me that look—you know what look' stuff. It's so horrifyingly accurate it's spooky.

The hothead frowned at the rather grim implications of that first sentence, but smiled as he mentally pictured the look on Leo's face as his older brother penned that last sentence.

Moving on, it is amazing how important one person can be to their loved ones. In a family of five, four children being raised by a single parent, that importance is only further exacerbated.

"And you think big words will help ya get yer point across?" Raph muttered.

I know, I know. You're probably telling me to 'stop pretending I'm smart like Donnie', but my choice of vocabulary is beside the point.

Raph rolled his eyes again. This letter was pure Leo from top to bottom. It may not be a lecture, but it sure is bossy, Raph thought, grinning a little.

I love my little brothers more than anything else in the whole world. And whether you acknowledge it or not, Raph, that includes you.

Throat tightening a little, Raph went back and re-read those two sentences. His hands shook. He took a deep breath, read the sentences again, and pressed a hand over his plastron. In a breathy, barely-audible whisper, he said, "Love you too, big brother."

It's so quiet here without you. Probably about as quiet as your mountain sanctuary. Even Mikey's been quiet.

Raph blinked and rubbed his eyes. He must have read that wrong.

Yep. Mikey and quiet in the same sentence, who'd have thought?

A deep frown spread over Raph's face. "I wouldn't, and I don't like it."

Honestly...I'm not sure I can stand to wait until you get back. I miss you so much. We all do. But, just so you know, Donatello's been especially affected by your absence. You might want to write some more letters to him, even if he doesn't reply to yours. I think he'll need all the reassurance he can get from you.

Strike two for Don, Raph thought. Whatever was wrong with Don, Raph made a mental note to spend more time carefully crafting letters to his immediate younger sibling in an attempt to soothe whatever doubts and insecurities the brainiac was keeping hidden.

Raph...we've always been close. A lot closer than even our brothers realize. You're my best friend, my confidant and my favorite first mate. ...Do you remember that? When we used to play pirates? I was the pirate captain and you were my first mate. You were always at my side. We'd explore the sewers together, fighting off danger and finding 'treasure'.

"How could I forget?" the hothead murmured under his breath. Some of his fondest childhood memories had been forged in the company of his older brother. He grinned a little and read on.

Remember the time you and I were gone too long and Master Splinter came out to get us? We were grounded for a week. But after two days, you came over to my room in the middle of the night and convinced me to go and play with you. We spent two hours out in the sewers every night for a whole month afterwards.

Raph smiled. Those were good times, simpler times. There wasn't as much to worry about then, and if there was, they didn't know about it.

Those two hours meant so much to me, Raph. I shared more moments with you in that month than I had ever before, and I loved every second of it. Maybe...when you come home...we can do that again.

Emerald green fingers gripped the corners of the page a little tighter.

Well—uh—not playing pirates, obviously...I think we're both a little too old for that.

Raph snorted with laughter and a full smile spread across his face. "No duh, Leo." The awkwardness of the statement was authentic Leo. It was his brother, not the fearless leader, who had penned this message.

But maybe we could go bust some heads or something. Just you and me. If you want, that is. I know that I would really enjoy it, but it's up to you.

After re-reading that section twice Raph's eye-ridges rose a little. Leo wanted to spend time with him, and not out of requirement or necessity, but just for the sake of spending time with him. Suddenly, Raphael found himself almost looking forward to going home. Yeah, Leo's safety paranoia would mean that they probably wouldn't get any good head-bustin' done, but it might just be worth it, if they got big brother bonding time out of it.

On a more solemn note, some of the things you said in your letter both puzzled and intrigued me, particularly that comment about me replying to your letters. What did you mean by that Raphael? Don't answer. It was a rhetorical question.

I think I know, but I'm not certain. I'm guessing that you said-er-wrote that because I never answered the letters that you sent me while I was away. If that hurt you, I'm sorry. I realize now that I should have written to you. Though, to be completely straightforward with you, some of the things you said in those letters really burned. Especially the insinuation that I didn't care about my family anymore. I care about all of you. I care so much about each and every one of you. I'm sorry, but they seemed so much like rants that I figured no reply was needed. I realize now that that was a horrid mistake on my part. Did it...hurt you...when I didn't reply?

A long, low exhale left Raph's mouth and he expertly blinked back a tear or two. "What do you think?" He whispered, though he knew there was no one there to hear.

In retrospect, I've realized that I wrote to Michelangelo and Donatello constantly, but never wrote a single letter to you. I can't apologize enough to make it up to you, Raphael. I know that. After all, didn't you once say that apologies are just empty words? I wonder...was that part of the reason you were so distanced from me when I returned?

This is starting to sound more like a narrative than a letter. Haha.

"Yeah, real freakin' funny." Raph grumbled sourly.

Just so you know I sat staring at this paper for almost half an hour before I actually wrote anything.

I really miss you, Raph. I really do. I know that's probably not what you expected me to say.

Raph's hand rose to his plastron once again. Part of him couldn't believe what he had just read. As he looked closer he saw that the words themselves were carved deeply into the paper and that Leo's hand had even shaken a little in the process. Leo really did miss him.

All of a sudden Raph was harshly reminded of the aching hole that had been left in their lives after Leo's departure. He winced a little at the memory. He'd missed Leo, even if he'd been to proud to admit it out loud. It had been blatantly obvious to all of his family members and even April and Casey.

Not much has happened here since you left. Though...I grow increasingly concerned about Donatello.

And there goes strike three. Man, Leo must be real worried about Don if he mentioned the brainiac twice. Raph frowned as those thoughts crossed his mind and plowed on through his older brother's neat handwriting.

He has withdrawn from both me and Michelangelo. He talks to Mikey, so at least that's good. But he's barely spoken to me since you left. And he's grown increasingly hostile towards me.

The hothead didn't like the sound of that. He could understand Don being upset at him for leaving the way he did, but being upset at Leo? Seemed like Don was taking his anger at Raph's departure out on the nearest big brother at hand, Leo, and that didn't bode well. Don isn't a very nice guy to be around when upset.

We haven't been out on patrol since we found out you were sick or injured or whatever. But when we were out on patrol, Donnie actually cussed me out. He was mad that I didn't share the fact that you were leaving. Yep, Donnie even dropped the f-bomb on me.

Okay, Raph really didn't like the sound of that.

Don't mention this to Don or Mikey, but I actually had to bite my tongue because I almost called him Raph. I swear he was acting more like you than you were the night you left.

Raph definitely had to write to Don and ask him what the shell was going through that big-brain of his.

Mikey keeps asking me about what really happened during my time in the jungle. I—I don't really know if I'm ready to tell him yet. But Raph...I've trusted you with some of my most guarded secrets over the years. And so...I'm going to tell you now.

He leaned forward anxiously as he read. They'd all been wondering how long it would be before Leo talked about his time in the jungle. The leader had never brought it up and so they'd never asked. They had no desire to push him or to dwell on something that they all had such a hard time getting over.

During my time in the jungle, I felt so alone. I couldn't think clearly without the rest of you around and I quickly grew frustrated. I had no idea how training alone in the jungle was supposed to transform me into a better leader. I meditated for days on end, I toned my muscles, honed my reflexes, did everything I could to enhance my abilities, but none of it worked. I felt like such a failure. And as my one-year deadline came to a close I suddenly found myself unable to turn back. Because I dreaded returning to the four of you as anything less than a great leader. I was scared, Raph. I was afraid that you all would be disappointed in me. I didn't want to let you down.

"You idiot, you would never have let us down. We didn't care about that, Leo. We never cared about that. All we cared about was you. We wanted our big brother back," the hothead confessed softly.

So I decided to stay as long as it took for me to become a better leader. And you know something, little brother? It never happened. Now that I reflect on it, I see that Master Splinter was trying to teach me that I have to have confidence in myself and my abilities. Why he felt he needed to send me all the way to the southern hemisphere to do that...I have no idea.

With a huff Raph agreed, "Me neither."

P.S. I know I really chewed you out on the whole Night Watcher thing, but just so you know, you weren't the only one doing a little vigilante-ing in your spare time.

Raph's eye-ridges shot up and a smirk tilted the corner of his lips. "Hypocrite!" Then as his smirk grew he muttered, "Who knew ya had it in ya?"

Let's just say that the Ghost of the Jungle has passed his cloak on to the next generation.

Golden eyes blinked and drifted over to his bag on the floor by his bed, they glimmered and sparkled with mischief. "Ghost of the Jungle, huh?"

I'm by no means encouraging that kind of behavior...

"Oh, of course not." Raph remarked sarcastically.

but you did say you had free time...And I promise I won't tell Master Splinter.

Love,

Leo

With a full, throaty laugh, Raph righted the pages of the letter and folded them as they had been before he'd opened them. It was getting late and he really needed to rest up for tomorrow's training. He glanced at the other letters and carefully placed them on top of his bag to read in the morning after training. After blowing out the small candle on the table by his bed, he put Leo's letter on the table and turned to lay back on his bed comfortably.

He stared at the ceiling for a few moments thinking about Leo's letter. His eyelids began to get heavy, but just before drifting off, his hand reached over and grabbed the letter. His breath evened out and, with all his doubts temporarily assuaged, he fell asleep, clutching Leo's letter tightly to his plastron over his heart.

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Well, how was it?