***
60

Once I was in my car, my tears at a pause and my emotions pulling a blank; I drove and drove, and drove until I was in the parking lot of a closed TJ Maxx, I turned off my car and let the silence overwhelm me. That's when I unlocked my buckle and brought my knees up to my chest, wrapping my arms around my legs and feeling the lump on my throat that made it way up.

I closed my eyes. And I screamed. I sobbed out, by myself.

"Why God, why!?" I screamed out at the top of my... Cancered lungs.

I ran my hands all over my face and through my hair and began to hyperventilating.

Then I just sobbed. And sobbed... And sobbed.

The realization slowly drowning me. 60 more days to live... Only 60 days to be on earth; maybe even less or more.

Why would he do this? Why would God do this to me!? After everything I've been through I don't deserve this. I haven't done anything to deserve it.

I continued to let my emotions out by myself until the sun began setting.

I had countless texts from a concerned Nicole, wondering what the doctor wanted.

I started my car up again, letting shaky hands grip tightly on the steering wheel. I click 'speaker' on my phone as it ring, waiting for Nicole to answer.

She answered only immediately with a clear worried tone.

"Joey!? Why haven't you called or even texted! I was worried sick! What did he say? Is everything good? Everything okay?" She said out quickly. I didn't even bother trying to hide anything; besides, might as well get my affairs out of the way. Since I'm going to die in all.

I felt myself breaking into another sob, Nicole didn't question be at first, just tied to calm me down from the other line.

"Go to my house" I croaked out, my throat hurting. "The spare key is under the fake plant. I'll be there soon. I love you" I said, then hung up.

And the entire ride over I just prayed to God that this was a dream; even a prank for that matter. Just life playing a sick, cruel joke on me... But alas... No such news was fortunate enough to stumble its way over.

**

I walked in the door, a nervous Nicole tapping her foot on the ground repeatedly as she sat on the edge of the couch.

I immediately ran over and hugged her. The tightest I ever have.

"Joebear... What's happened?" She asked soflty, rubbing her hand up and down my back soothingly. I just cried and cried.

"Nicole I-" I was stopped by another sob. She was crying at this point, me and her have the same type of thing: if we see someone cry, we start crying

Weird, right?

"Baby, tell me what's happened?" She said as her cheeks were wet with tears.

After an hour, I managed to calm myself down. We were still hugging. I didn't want to loose her. She's my Bestfriend... I can't loose her.

"Nicole... I'm sorry" I said sadly after a few minutes of silence.

"For what?" She asked me. I wiped my eyes again and spoke.

"I'm going to put you through slot of pain" I quietly said. "What? Did you scratch my car or something?" She joked, trying to make me feel better.

I chucked a bit... I'm probably not going to laugh a lot anymore...

"Nicole...I don't know how to say this"
I said, confusing myself in today's events"

"Just tell me, sugar" she said. I felt myself crying again, but I just had to rip the bandaid off.

"I only have two months to live" I said looking at her right in the eye. Right then, her eyes were spilling out more tears then you can imagine.

"What?" She said as her voice cracked.

"The cancer... The- it's back..." I said as I held her hand.

"No" she murmured as she blinked, letting more tears fall down.
"It's spread... I-it spread everywhere, NiNi" I said sadly letting everything sink in.

She always said she will be strong for me.
And that she was.

"You're going to be okay" she said as she took my into a hug again.

"I... I- I can't... I don't wanna die, Nicole" I whispered as I had my arms wrapped tightly around her.

"I love you... You're going to be okay, Joebear... You're going to be alright..... No matter what happens..."

***