One || Song Preference.

Calum: And I know you're gonna be away a while but I've got no plans at all to leave. || It was the night before Calum had to leave for tour and we were both cuddling up to each other on the sofa, the movie playing in the background as we talked. My head was resting on his shoulder as he played with my hands absentmindedly. I knew Calum always got upset before he had to leave; I did too but I could just tell it was even more so this time. I stopped his fidgiting and just held his hand in mine for a moment. Looking up to him, his eyes were looking elsewhere and I couldn't figure out what it was he was stairing at. He was so deep into thought that it took him a few seconds to realise that I was speaking his name. 'Hmm?" He mumbled seeming distracted. "You ok?" I asked him as I lifted his arm up and slung it over me, moving closer to him in the space I had created. "I'm just thinking." He replied, not exactly answering my question. "About tomorrow?" I asked him to which he nodded softly in reply. "Me too." He pulled me in gently and leaned his head against mine, looking down to his pervious distraction. "This is going to be the longest time we've been away from each other." I spoke up, just letting my thoughts roll off my tongue. I then looked up to see Calum's eyes watering and he squeezed them shut to try and stop himself from crying. "Calum?" I asked him, sitting up so I could look at him. "Calum?" I repeated, taking his hands and moving over to sit on his lap facing him. I cupped his face in my hands and tilted his chin upwards so he would look at me. He forecd on a fake smile and sniffled lightly but I could see the shamed expression on his features. A tear escaped the corner of his eye and rolled down, my thumb cathing it on it's way. "Cal?" I spoke with a touch of heartache in my voice. "Tell me whats wrong." I whispered to him as he placed his hands lightly on both sides of my waist. A sad chuckle escaped his lips before he answered me. "I don't want to leave you." He told me and it felt as if my heart broke slightly at his words. "I don't want you to leave me either but you have to." I reminded him."No." He quickly stopped me. "It's not just that." He added. I gave him a confused look meaning for him to continue. "I don't want you to leave me." He spoke empathising us. "Baby, what do you mean?" I asked him as I moved my hands up to run through his hair soothingly. "I don't want to lose you, Y/N. What if you meet someone while I'm away and you like him? Someone who'll always be around for you? I'm not going to see you for months and what if you forget about me?" He asked me distraughtly. "Calum, babe, I could never forget you." I hurried to reassure him. My hands moved down to the sides of his face once more and my thumbs ran small circles against his chin. "There won't be anyone else, Cal. You're the only one that I want and nothing can change that. I hate being away from you too but we'll make this work. We always do. And no matter how far away we are, you're always, always there for me; please remember that. I'm going to be right here when you get back, ok? I'm not going to leave you babe." I promised him as I slung my arms around his neck and leaned into his tight embrace. He held me against him for several moments before placing a tender kiss to my cheek as we pulled away. "I love you Y/N."

Ashton: Take my hand and my heart and soul. I will only have these eyes for you. || I stand beside Y/N, away from all the drunk people who are jumping around to the music. The boys are here somewhere, though there is a high chance that they're drunk. It's not a bad party despite all the drunken idiots, so I am unsure why Y/N looks as if she isn't enjoying herself. She swirls her drink around in her cup as she looks around the room. My eyes follow to where hers are and I see all the girls she is looking at. I wrap my hand around her waist reassuringly and pull her closer to me. "You ok?" I ask her as my breath hits her skin on the side of her neck. "I'm just going to get a bit of air." She blankly replies as she sets her drink down and pushes herself through the crowd. Confused, I follow after her and walk outside looking for her. I see her leaning up against a brick wall and she cringes as someone begins to throw up in the bushes. I walk over to her and she turns to look at me once she hears me and I give her a faint smile before leaning against the wall beside her. "What's wrong?" I ask her, turning my face to look at her. She keeps her focus straight ahead and doesn't make eye contact with me as she answers me. "It was just a bit stuffy in there and I wanted some fresh air." She replies. "No, Y/N." I say to her as I turn and lean on my side facing her directly. "I mean why are you upset?" I ask her. She sighs in response and bites down on her lip: a nervous habit of hers I have came to remember. "You can tell me babe." I quickly add, hoping she doesn't feel pressured. "Its just..." She begins, shifting her weight onto her other leg and looking down at her hands "There's all those other girls and they look good in tight fitting clothing and they have so much fun and get drunk and they're confident with themselves. Whereas I like to take my time getting ready and I don't get drunk and I'm not that confident. I know you always wanted a confident girl and I'm trying to be for you, I swear I am but I just don't think I can be enough for you. I can't be like those girls can." She tells me. Once she's finished she dabs at the corners of her eyes where a few tears have formed. "Hey." I coo as I pull her hand into mine. "Before I met you, yes I said I wanted a confident girl but I know that that's not important anymore. I'm confident and even though you're not a lot of the time, it doesn't make you think any different of me so why should I think differently of you? I can assure you that you don't need to be like those other girls and you shouldn't compare yourself to them. Whatever I thought I wanted before, it doesn't matter because you are the only one I want. And I don't even need to look at anyone else to know that." I tell her. She looks up to me and a small smile reaches her lips. "Thank you Ash. It means a lot to me." She tells me and I pull her into a tight embrace. "No need to thank me, Y/N."

Luke: Would you take away my hopes and dreams and just stay with me? || Y/N and I sat closely in silence, the only noise being heard was our quite breathing. My hand rested firmly on her waist as I kept her close to me and she let her head fall against my chest. My fingers rubbed small circles under the material of her shirt, lightly tracing over her skin. Her arms were wrapped around my torso and it felt as though we couldn't get any closer even if we tried. It was our last night together and we wanted to do something special: just the two of us. We didn't really fancy going out for dinner or to a club, though I think it was a neutral feeling that we just wanted to be with each other and in the end, it didn't matter where we were. Y/N had cried all her tears out for now but I knew that come the morning she'd be crying once more. But just the look in her eyes is enough to break me. I remind myself that the look of pain she has is because of me, because I'm leaving her. And nothing hurts more than knowing I'm making her feel that way. And sometimes, when it's late and we can't fall asleep: scared that the morning will come quicker that way, we stay up all night until I have to go. Y/N will cry into my chest and I'll wrap my arms around her so she remembers the feeling of me. It's moments like that when you feel as if maybe your dream isn't all you thought it was. And sometimes it feels like you don't even want it at all. But I go on stage and I just forget it all and I know that I couldn't stop. But sometimes I just wish to not have a dream, you know? Sometimes staying would be enough.

Michael: All my senses come to life while I'm stumbling home as drunk as I have ever been and I'll never leave again 'cause you are the only one. || I'm drunk and that much is clear to me as I stumble through the front door. I struggle to find the light switch and I make my way over to the kitchen once I can see where I'm going. I chuck the keys down on the counter and pour myself a glass of water in hopes to sober myself up a little. I've been told I'm usually quite a giddy drunk but that's not the case tonight. My hands and shaking and my sadness has grown and I feel a rage of anger burning inside of me. I guess I was far more angry than I had realised because before I knew it, I had smashed the glass of water on the floor. Without bothering to clean up the mess, my feet carry me over to the liquor cabinet and my hands pull out a glass of vodka. I made my way over to the couch and kicked my heels off my blistered feet. I don't know how I went from holding his hand to holding a bottle of vodka in such a short space of time. Drunk or sober; he's the only thing on my mind and nothing I have used as a distraction has helped me the slightest. My mind continues to remind me of the mess I've made and I fill myself with regret along with another sip of vodka. I shouldn't have left. I shouldn't have ran away like that. At least with Michael having to leave, I knew he'd always have to come back home. Why is it only now when I'm all alone in my old apartment, drunk at 2am that I realise I should have stayed? I'm such a screw up and now it's clear to me that no matter what state I'm in, I know nothing makes sense without him.

-

Still no school yet.

Ok, so I have come to an agreement with myself that maybe I won't be doing the good news thing anymore, simply because the news is just filled with stories to make you depressed and hate the world. I will however be posting my (current) favourite quote in hopes that you might like it as much as me. So yeah and even though I'm not posting a good news thing, there is still plenty of good in the world and you can be a reason for that.

Also, it costs nothing to be nice.

You may have heard and it's true. On that topic, I want to thank all of you who comment and vote. I say this all the time but it makes me so happy. And a massive thank you to everyone who sends me lovely DMS. It makes my day and I love hearing how my writing makes you happy and how I've helped some of you. That's why I love writing because I know that it's a great way to help a lot of you.

I'm always, ALWAYS here for you and when you feel like no one cares that just remind yourself that I do and I love you so, so much.

Current Favourite Quote: 'Each time you read a book, a tree smiles knowing there's life after death.'

27/01/15

I love you.
Always.

- HakunaHemmings