I walked out of the doctor's office and saw Gerard sitting impatiently on a bench. He was bouncing his leg up and down, annoying his parents. As soon as they noticed I was done they got up, waiting for the results. I half smiled at them and cleared my throat.

"I'm alright." I said. They smiled and patted me on the back. Little did they know that was all a lie. I'm not alright. I'm far from alright, actually.

We got in the car and Gerard's parents drove us all home. I walked to my house, Gerard following me. We sat in my room and I just stared at my guitar. 

"You really like playing don't you?" He smiled.

"Yeah, I love playing. It's the only thing that kept me calm for the passed few years." I answered with a smile. 

"Play for me?" He asked softly. I nodded my head and picked up my guitar. I covered Green Day's Basket Case. The song I played the day I found out Gerard was my neighbor. After I finished playing I put the guitar back on it's stand and looked at him.

"Do you know any other instruments?" He asked. 

"I sort of can play piano. Not good though." I shrugged. Gerard's face lit up as soon as I mentioned the piano. 

"I know how to play, here, I'll help you." He smiled. We walked into the basement of my house and sat down at a large piano. 

"Play." Gerard urged. 

"Okay, well I tried writing a song before so I guess I'll play that." I shrugged and started playing. It wasn't good, but it was okay I guess. 

"I never finished it." I said after I got to the apparent end. 

"You really like playing music, don't you?" Gerard asked. 

"Yeah, I wanna be in a band. I think it would be cool, to stand on stage and let your emotions out through music." I smiled again. Gerard smiled even wider, "I have an idea." He said. He ran up the steps and I followed behind him. When I got up the stairs he was on the phone, apparently talking to Mikey. And soon enough, Mikey was busting through my door with a bass in his hands. 

"Okay, drums, we need drums." Gerard thought out loud. 

"And another guitar player. I think it would be better to have 2 guitars." I put my idea out there. Gerard's head snapped up. 

"Ray, Ray, what's his phone number?" He asked frantically. I gave him Ray's phone number and he was calling Ray like this was an emergency. 

"Okay, yeah, we need another guitarist. Band name? Not sure yet, but we'll think of something. Okay, yeah, right now. Do you know anyone who plays drums? Bob? Perfect! Thank you so much!" Gerard hung up. He smiled widely like a maniac to Mikey and I. 

"Gerard, what's this about?" I asked. 

"I promised you I would make you happy. So that's what I'm going to do." He said softly. Mikey just looked at Gerard and I. 

"Gerard, are you gonna be vocalist?" Mikey asked. 

"Holy shit! You sing?" I asked, wide eyed. Gerard never told me that he could sing. I was surprised, he didn't really seem like the singing type. Gerard looked down and blushed. He smiled slightly and looked back up at me. "Yeah, I sing, Frankie." He said softly. 

"Sing for me right now." I squealed. I was so happy for some reason. I bet I sounded a bit feminine. 

"Uhm okay." He thought for a minute. "What should I sing?" He asked. 

"I don't know, have you ever written a song?" I asked. 

"Uh, yeah I guess I'll sing that one." He said. He started singing. His voice sounded soft at first, but then he got louder and his voice was giving me goosebumps. 

"What's the worst thing I can say? Things are better if I stay. So long and goodnight, So long and goodnight. And if you carry on this way, Things are better if I stay. So long and goodnight, So long and goodnight."

I was left speechless, so I decided to hug him. Which of course made my stomach go into a fit of butterflies that scared the fuck out of me because I wasn't used to getting butterflies over someone. 

I guess another thing I'm scared of was how nice Gerard was. He was being nice to me, making sure I got to live my dream. But in the end, I'm pretty sure we both know he'll end up hurt. Something will happen, I can tell. And hopefully, I won't be the reason he's hurting. Because hurting Gerard is something I don't want to do. A fear of mine is hurting Gerard. He's too nice and sweet to be going through hurt. 

There was a knock on the door so I let Gerard go and walked over to it. I opened it up to see Ray, the guy with the Afro I met at the park, and a blonde kid with a lip piercing. I loved piercings, I wanted a few of them, I also wanted tattoos. They're huge on my bucket list. 

"You must be Bob." I smiled and shook his hand. 

"And you mus be Frankie. Gerard never shuts up about you." He smiled back. I turned around to see Gerard's cheeks turning bright red. 

"Oh is that so? I hope it's good things." I chuckled. 

"Oh believe me, this guy has nothing but good things to say about you. He lo---" Bob's mouth was covered by Gerard's hand. 

"You asshole." Gerard looked at Bob. His cheeks were still pink, he was embarrassed. So I got the idea of leaning over and kissing him on the cheek. 

"Aww look, little Gee is embarrassed." I cooed and kissed both of his cheeks again. He covered his face with his hands and mumbled something about me being a bitch. 

"Yeah Gerard, Frankie's your bitch." Mikey laughed. Now Gerard and my own cheeks were bright red. 

"Can we just get this all sorted out?" I asked. Trying to change the subject. 

"What is there to sort out? I mean you and Gerard---" Ray started. 

"BAND STUFF, NOT THAT!" Gerard and I yelled at the same time. We looked at each other with odd expressions. I think he's cute with his red cheeks. 

 We all sat down and went over music related stuff. We tried to name the band, but none of us had good ideas. So we decided to leave the band nameless for now. After 3 hours of just coming up with random parts for songs and practicing, we decided to call it quits for tonight. Everyone went home, besides Gerard. He decided to spend the night at my house. Even though we had school tomorrow. 

"You know Frankie, I'm falling for you hard right now." He watched as I bit my finger nails. I was probably wide eyed and blushing at this point. I'm flattered that he likes me, I like him too, but I'm scared I'll hurt him if I tell him how I feel. But then again, I'm scared if I reject him I'll hurt him. I'm sort of in a situation I guess.

"Gee, I don't want to hurt you." I said to him. I placed my hand on his knee cap. 

"What do you mean, Frankie?" He looked hurt for a second, and that bothered me. Especially when I said I DIDN'T want to hurt him, he was still hurt. I pursed my lips together, thinking about if I should tell him the truth of what I actually found out earlier. After awhile, I thought against it. 

"Nothing. I'm just tired and can't think straight. Sorry." I said standing up and walking to the bathroom. Gerard trailed behind me, making sure I took my night pills like always. He was always making sure I took my medication, and was on my way to what he called or thought was recovery. 

He smiled at me and I smiled back. I sighed and looked at him. He looked back at me, slight confusion written on his face. I bit my lip, I was having an internal war with myself basically. And I don't mean with the cancer, though I am fighting that too. 

"You okay? You look frustrated." He pointed out. 

I bit my lip harder, this time blood was coming out of it. I gave up with the war and just did what I wanted to do originally. I took a step closer to Gerard, he inspected the distance between us. I slightly got on the tip of my toes and quickly threw my arms around his neck and just forced our lips together. His hands found their way to my hips as he pulled me closer to him. I felt him smile and he started walking backwards until he hit the hallway wall. He slid down it until he was sitting. He pushed me down so I was sitting on his lap, he put his tongue in my mouth. 

And that is how I ended up making out with Gerard Way in my hallway on the floor. 

"You taste like blood. Stop biting your lip." Gerard poked my nose. 

"No, it doesn't matter because--" I was just about to finish my sentence but he decided to cut me off. 

"You're lips are perfect. I just proved it." He said smugly. I stuck my tongue out at him, leaving him to chuckle at me. 

"I really like you, Frankie." He smiled. 

I'm glad he didn't say love. That's a strong word, and it is not meant for me. 

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

1. I'm scared of the thought that people don't take time to realize what they have

2. I'm scared of the thought of swallowing a simple pill.

3. I'm scared of the thought of someone giving me pity

4. I'm scared of the thought that one day, someone will know exactly what I'm thinking.

5. I'm scared of the thought, that I don't know what to think. 

6.I'm scared of the thought of  people reading my mind off of how I act or look. (Just like Gerard)

7. I'm scared to be alone. 

8. I'm scared of the dizzy and noxious feeling I get. 

9. I'm scared of telling people personal things about myself. 

10. I'm scared of eating in front of people. They'll judge me. 

11. I'm scared of death.

12. I'm scared of Mrs.Rodgers.

13. I'm scared to tell Gerard about my condition. 

14. I'm scared about my mom not being here.

15. I'm scared at how much I'm opening up to Gerard.

 16. I'm scared of the day Gerard finds out about my condition.

17. I'm scared of the feeling and emotion Gerard holds in himself. 

18. I'm scared because I might not live to see one day.

19. I'm scared of the thought of liking a routine. 

20. I'm scared of telling someone I love them. If they aren't my mom, that is.

21. I'm scared of someone being payed to care. 

22. I'm scared of false hope. 

23. Yet again, I'M SCARED OF DEATH.

24. I'm scared of people staring at me. 

25. I'm scared of falling in love with someone. 

26. I'm scared of a part of me, or myself being drawn. 

27. My own reflection scares me. I look like a zombie. 

28. I'm scared of Dennis

29. I'm scared of Gerard's parents knowing I have cancer.

30. I'm scared of slowly falling for someone. 

31. I'm scared of the thought that the person I'm falling for won't catch me.

32. I'm scared of getting butterflies (over someone)

33. I'm scared of how nice Gerard is. 

34. I'm scared of hurting Gerard. 

35. I'm scared I'll hurt Gerard if I tell him how I feel. 

36. I'm scared I'll hurt Gerard if I reject him.