I Hate You Name


I was in the midst of filling in a graphic organizer for Chemistry when a clanking sounded against the table beside me.

Against my better judgement, I snuck a quick, sideways glance in the direction of the noise and immediately regretted it. Onyx had walked in seconds before the bell sounded and the rest of our classmates filed into the cold room. Deciding it'd be best to clear the air between us before he could make any remarks, I opened my mouth in an attempt to offer a greeting, but he grasped my hand in his own, drying every word on the tip of my tongue.

"I'm not trying to hurt you." he said upon seeing my expression. He picked up what he'd dropped between us, a bracelet with a single charm; a black Onyx stone. It'd blended so perfectly into the black Epoxy that I hadn't seen it in my peripheral.

"What are you doing?" I asked, eyeing him cautiously. "Can you please let go of my hand?"

He blatantly ignored my request and fit the bracelet around my wrist, only releasing my hand once he'd clasped it. He then turned his back to me to pull his notebook and pencil from his bag, avoiding my questioning eyes on him.

"Onyx." I repeated, poking him with the eraser end of my pencil. "What is this?"

I jangled the bracelet between us, but all he did was answer with a one shoulder shrug and a quiet, "A bracelet."

I narrowed my eyes, poking him with my eraser again. "Yeah, I see that, but why is it on me?"

He finally set his pencil down and turned in his chair to face me. "Because you said you hated my name. That's my namesake, Sky."

I eyed the stone, then looked to Onyx, "I'm aware."

"Well, you're going to wear it until you like it." he continued, dusting pencil shavings off his black sleeve. "Feel privileged. I've never given a chick jewelry before. And I'm sure no guy has ever given you anything."

The words came out so harsh that I literally had to scoot my chair to the opposite end of the table. This sent a squealing noise through the room and brought all attention to in the middle of it. Onyx must have realized his words had come out aggressively because he glanced in my direction with a shake of his head.

"Look, I didn't mean that. It was a dicky thing to say."

"Sure was." I muttered, more to myself than him.

What stung wasn't that he'd said it; I was used to Onyx's unfiltered thoughts. I used to like to joke his brain was like the filter of an old fish tank. Worked on occasion, but more times than not it was a dud. It'd gotten him into a countless number of fights, and I'd heard his mother spend an entire evening crying to my own over the venomous words. What hurt was that he wasn't wrong. This was my Senior year and I hadn't had a boyfriend since early Freshman year, but I'd always liked it that way. I didn't have to deal with the unnecessary drama, the hell of being on a leash every second of every day, and I wouldn't just be walking a thin line that would eventually snap and lead to heartbreak.

Much to Angie and my mother's sadness, I believed love was nothing more than a fantastical dream every person wished to obtain but most never quite really did.

"Sky, seriously." Onyx nudged my leg with his own. "I'm sorry."

"It's whatever." I muttered, training my eyes on the Periodic table that Mr. Harlow had projected onto the screen. "Just pretend it wasn't said."

He was satisfied with the answer and turned his attention to the front of the classroom, but I grasped my pencil between my fingers just a little tighter and wished desperately I could pretend he wasn't next to me.

*

I was sitting on the bleachers watching Mikey's practice when I felt a bag hit my ankle. Ready to snap at Onyx, I spun to face Levi and one of his teammates had sat on either side of me. Levi's hand was rummaging through his messy backpack, a playful smirk on his face as he peeked at Mikey throwing the ball, and by the way he quickly looked to me on his right a second later, I was sure he had no intention of letting anyone see he was interested in my best friend.

"Hey." I greeted with a smile, relieved it wasn't Onyx. "You guys aren't heading to the party?"

Levi sat upright, massaging the back of his neck, "About that," he paused, looking to Mikey, "I was hoping you could talk Michael into coming? I know he's practicing for the season and everything, but man, I'm not good with subtlety and I don't want to scare him off coming on too strong."

The best friend in me was screaming and it nearly broke the surface as I brushed the hair from my eyes and feigned disinterest. "Oh, sure, yeah. I was going to try and talk him into going anyway."

The other teammate, a cute outfielder with ear length caramel waves and eyes so light of a brown they almost looked amber, laughed. "You don't do parties, Rory."

I felt my cheeks flush at the response. "I do. Just not a lot."

"No, Ty's right. I haven't seen you at a party since what? Freshman year?"

This was the last thing I needed after Onyx's remark this morning.

"We'll be there." I assured both boys, then leaned into Levi and whispered. "Mikey's totally okay with you coming on strong, by the way."

Levi stood and stretched his arms behind his head as he watched the topic of conversation rush across the court. "Let me get a couple beers in me and I'll be brave enough. Thanks Rory, I owe you."

He ruffled my hair on his way down the bleachers. The sound of his steps retreating caught Mikey's attention and he looked up and in our direction. Levi slowed and lifted his hand up in a wave, to which Mikey returned with a smile and nod. Once the pitcher had slipped out of the room, Mike turned to me with wide eyes and all but started bouncing up and down where he stood in excitement. I was so caught up in the fact that I was going to play matchmaker tonight I hadn't realized that Levi's friend, Ty, was still beside me until Mikey made a gesture with his head.

I turned, not sure how to break the awkward silence now that I was aware he was there. Luckily, he wasn't about the subtly his friend was and said, "You should find me at the party tonight, Rory. I could show you how to have some fun."

Before I could figure out how to take the comment, his hand brushed my own and he stood to follow in his friend's footsteps, but stopped as soon as he stepped off the bleachers.

"Can I have your number?" he asked, pulling his phone from his pocket. "You know, just in case you can't find me?"

"Yes." I squeaked, then cleared my throat and joined him on the ground, taking his phone and handing him my own. "I mean, yes, that's a good idea."

He handed my phone back, but again his hand brushed against my own, and he winked as he tucked his phone away and bid goodbye with a quick, "See you later than, Rory."

Then he was out the door and somewhere in the hall.

Mikey waited until he was sure neither boy was going to come in before he threw the ball aside and approached me with a massive grin that hindered on creepy.

"Did you just score us both dates tonight?"

I considered his words, then leaned into him and we both stared at the door. "I think I did."

*

I don't know why I was surprised to find Onyx in his yard tending to his mother's garden, but it caught me off guard and I nearly tripped off the last step of my porch because I was so busy watching him shovel soil around a row of roses.

"Where you headed looking like that?" Onyx asked, not even bothering to stand and turn around. Instead, he fell back on his hands and leaned into them, craning his neck in my direction.

The shirt he'd been wearing at school had been discarded and replaced with a loose-fitting Guns N Roses tee that was now covered in soil and flower petals, as was much of his face. Every time he blinked, his long lashes knocked off the deposits of soil along his cheeks, blue eyes roaming me.

"Gotta go play matchmaker." I eventually settled on responding. Mom had asked that I tried and befriend him, right? That didn't mean he had to know my every move.

"Oh, I see you, Hotshot." he said with a chuckle, his perfect teeth peeking out through the dirt smeared around his mouth. "You playin' matchmaker for your friend or yourself?"

I swung my purse over my shoulder and looked down the street for a second, then back at Onyx. "Both, hopefully."

"Mmm." Onyx eyed me, one of his blonde brows arched. "Well, good luck."

I had a quick, momentarily lapse of reason and asked, "You aren't going to Levi's party tonight?"

Onyx sat upright, wiping his hands against his knees. "Not really feeling up to a party tonight."

That momentarily lapse extended into a full minute. "Are you okay?"

He looked away from me and trained his eyes on the starless night sky above. "I'm good, Sky."

Both of our eyes shot to the headlights of Mike's Nissan at the end of the street and I made my way down the driveway, not able to fight the sympathy I felt for him.

"Have fun with your new hobby, Hayes." I said with a two-finger salute. Onyx smiled a little at that, the same one he'd wore when he looked my way a couple days ago.

"Have fun playing Cupid, Sky." he said with a quick nod, the smile still playing on his full lips.

I opened Mikey's door and climbed in, shutting the door behind me. Mike finally caught sight of the bracelet Onyx had put on me this morning and his eyebrows drew together.

"What's that?"

I held my wrist out to him. "A bracelet."

He snickered, "Obviously. Where'd you get it?"

"Doesn't matter." I answered, looking to the clock on his radio. "We better get going. Levi's waiting for you."

Mikey didn't need to hear more, nor did he try and pry more information out of me. Resting my head against the window, I looked back to Onyx to find he'd laid himself down beside the flower bed, arms stretched behind his head, and was staring up at the night sky. I dropped my gaze to the bracelet, then rested my hand against my thigh and trained my eyes straight ahead. 

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