I can't believe this is happening. No,this can't be happening. Please no! Why me? Why Christian?

"Don't touch me." His voice keeps playing over and over in my head. Every syllable bouncing around in my brain. It's hard to focus on the string of words flowing from his mouth now.

"Who are you?" He asks again. His face is hard and his body is stiff, almost like he is trying to contain his breathing. He is mad, and I've only seen him this way a handful of times. 

"Ana." I whisper and his eyebrows draw together.

"Ana, what?" Grey or Steele? Which should I say?

"Ana Steele." I have to hold tears back.

"Well, Ana...I'm just kidding, I remember you." I wish he would say that. I with he would snap out of this state and tell me he was just pulling my leg, that he is okay, everything is just like it was before. But something inside me is screaming that this isn't a joke that this is real life.

"I'm sorry, Mrs. Steele, but you must be confused. I don't know you, and I think it would be best if you show your self out before the doctors do.

"But, Chr-"

"Miss?" We both look towards the door and there stands Chrissy. Part of me is wondering if she heard me tell Christian my maiden name, and his lack of remembrance, and so that's why she didn't address me as Mrs. Grey. Lord knows the battle that would have to take place to convince Christian he is actually married with four kids.

I don't know what to do. My body is stone, my feet are stuck in quick sand, my heart shattering into a thousand tiny shards. "Dr. Newton needs to run a few more test."She walks forward and takes me by the shoulders, directing me to the door. As soon as we are in the hallway I feel the cool tile against my knees, my chest shaking with contained sobs.

"Mrs. Grey?" She whispers and crouches down to my level.

"H-how is this-s happening?" I sob, trying to muffle my pain in my hands.

"I over heard you and Mr. Grey and notified Dr. Newton. He should be here any minute." She continues to rub soothing patterns on my back while I try to go over everything that has just happened. Christian has been in a coma for two weeks, he just woke up, he doesn't remember you. I force my self to focus on Chrissy's voice. "In the mean time, is there anyone you can call?"

I just shrug in answer. I only want Christian, my Christian, not this new old Christian. The kind nurse helps me to my feet and leads me to a chair. As she walks away, with trembling hands I dial Kate and Elliot. Someone picks up after the first ring.

"Ana, how is-"

"Kate?" I ask,cutting her off. There is a short silence, but lips quiver and broken sobs slip out. Kate takes a breath before I hear her call Elliot's name and some more rustling around.

"We are on our way." Is all she says before I hang up and stuff my phone back in my pocket.

On second thought...I take my phone back out to text Gail.

I need to call you. Go somewhere privet, away from the kids. I sit there for a couple of minutes before my phone is vibrating in my hands.

Breath, Anastasia.You can get through this. I answer.

"Ana?"

"Hey, Gail,um...there has been a change." My voice shakes a bit, but I do all I can to hold the tears and pain back.

"Oh, dear." I hear her gasp and I let out a small, forced, dead laugh.

"For the best."I pause. "And worst. Christian is awake, his face looks much better, he wasn't moving too much at first, but..." Keep it together Grey! "He didn't remember me as Anastasia Grey.

"Oh, Ana-"

"And he didn't remember me as Anastasia Steele either." I hear Gail sniff on the other side of the phone. "The doctor is running test now."

"Mrs. Grey. Ana,what are you going to tell the kids?" Even Gail sounds broken.

"I can't tell them right now, we just need to see how far back he actually remembers. You can share the news with Taylor, but don't mention it to Kenneth or Phoebe, and sure as hell not Teddy-"

"Teddy doesn't already know?" She sounds confused which makes me confused.

"No. It just happened a few minutes ago. W-why would he already know?" I stumble over my question. I told them not to come up here today...

"Teddy went to the hospital twenty minutes ago." What? "Is he not with you?"

Teddy is here? Has he even made it here? I mean it doesn't take twenty minutes to get from our house to the hospital, but if he is here the only place he would be is up here with me-

"Gail, I've got to go. Don't tip the kids off. I'll contact you after the doctor is finished." And I hang up. Now I need to call Teddy. As soon as I pull his number up, a quiet voice calls my name.

"Mom?" I lookup from my phone, over to the double doors that are the only enter and exit into the ICU waiting area. There stands Teddy, leaning on the door for support, the buttons on the top of his shirt undone, his hair a mess, his eyes glazed over and swollen, and his hands stained red.

"Teddy?" I shriek and jump from my seat to my son. When I reach him, although his six foot body towers over my five foot seven frame, I reach up and cup his read, wet, swollen face in my shaking hands. He melts at the comforting touch. "Teddy, what happened? Why are you here?"

"M-mom." His voice cracks and his hands move up to cover his. Is that blood? "It's Sophie." He sobs and I pull him into a hug. His knees buckle but he holds onto me like his life depends on it. This is a great feeling,being held together or holding someone else together, but in the worst possible moment.

"What happened,baby?" I whisper into his hair and he cries out. He lifts his face from my neck and shakes hit back and forth.

"T-the bab-by."His breath catches in his throat and my heart drops even further."Sh-she lost-t..." I don't let him say anymore and pull his back into my arms and let him release everything he has bottled up.

First my husband,and now my son...I have to stay strong. If I can't do it for myself,then I can at least do it for them.

I sit for what feels like hours holding my son in my arms, soothing him, reminding him that it will pass. I remember what I went through and the struggle to get back on my feet, I can remember how it affected the kids too. Teddy as been a passenger down that road and I can't let him get behind the wheel him self.

"Hey, Teddy?"I whisper and kiss his head. He peeks up at me with dried eyes, his cheeks are still red and have tear stains. "I think you need to go check on her." He takes a deep breath and stands to his feet.
"I love you, Mom." He hugs me tight once more.

"I love you too,son." And I watch him as he disappears through the double doors and takes the next hallway to the right.

"Mrs. Grey." I look up as someone calls my name and my skins crawls as soon as my yes land on the slimy creature sauntering through the ER doors.

"Hyde?" I question. Christian as been keeping tabs on him, I know. When did he get out of prison? "What are you doing here?"

"We actually need to talk to you." We?

"Ah, Anastasia.I see you already met Jack." Of all people in the world, Christian is left with no memory and this bitch has the audacity to prance inhere with a big smile on her face.

"Genevieve?"She is part of ...the we? As if she reads my mind her hand slithers down his arm and laces their fingers together. Oh fuck.

"Wha-what do you-" I stutter.

"To get straight to the point-" The cougar is cut off by the snake.

"We want our kid."

"Your kid?" I ask still very confused. This is a nightmare. I'm going to close my eyes, count to ten, and this will have never happened.

"You don't see it?" He smirks. I look between the two of them.

The auburn hair,tan skin, small dimples, beautiful eyes...

No!

"Your kid?" But...Kenneth is the most precious gift that anyone would be lucky to have, and he came from these two?

"We decided to give you a heads up in person." Hyde hands me an envelope and with shaky hands I take it, although I don't want to.

It's an official envelope from the state of Washington.

"Once you read and sign the papers, your attorney can decide on date. The sooner the better." He smiles. I hear the thick gift float from my hands and crash on the floor. I look down. I can't move, I can't feel, I don't even think I can breath. The clicking of heels echo around my head just as the bitch her self makes an appearance in front of me.

"We will get our baby boy back soon." She seethes before turning her back on me and prancing back to the hole she came from.

How can this be happening?

I...I don't know what to think any more.

It's been a day since the gates of hell broke open and everything shitty found it'sway to the Grey family.

Teddy is back home with Sophie, Phoebe has been spending all her time with Alexander,and Gil has figured our how to juggle taking care of her husband and step daughter, taking care of m kids, and reassuring me that the world isn't ending.

Dr. Newton called me this morning telling me he had "news." No more than that,making volcanoes erupt in the dark pit of my stomach.

I ride up to Christian's floor with a steaming cut of house brewed coffee numbing my hands.

"Hey Chrissy."I catch the attention of the nurse at the counter.

"Hi, Mrs. Grey.How has your day been?" She ask with a smile on her face.

"Good, thank you for asking" I smile back.

"You look good as well." She compliments. In other words "It looks like you have started caring about your hygiene unlike a week ago.

"Dr. Newton called and said he had news ." I say, trying not to get my hopes up for anything. Chrissy's face dampens a bit, but she stands and walks out from behind the desk.

"Follow me."She instructs and I do. She leads me past Christian's room and I can't help but stare.

"Mrs. Grey?"I'm startles from my nostalgia when I almost bump into the kind woman.

"I think it's about time you call me Ana."

"Ana, I don't know to what extent he remembers, but some of it has come back."Has he remembered me yet? She answers my unspoken question. "He seems to be eager to get back to work."

With out another word, Chrissy leads me to a room that reads "Employee's Only",then down a hall to another room with a long wooden table.

Oh. This is an official meeting. In a hospital. That's never good.

Dr. Newton is already waiting in the room organizing some papers and folders. When we walk in the room his head pops up.

"Hello,Anastasia." After a few weeks, Dr. Newton and I reached a first name bases. All I can think about is how Christian wouldn't like that.

"Hi, Scott."He offers me a seat at the end of the table and he pulls out the chair beside me for him self. He dismisses Chrissy before getting to business.

"By some miracle Christian is alive and all his levels seem to be normal. He is stable enough for us to release and he has voice many times that he is ready to leave as well." I totally believe him, but I wish he would just got to the point and save the fluff. "Unfortunately, you were the first to discover his lack of memory."

My eyes tear up.

"Do you know how much he remembers?"

"That's why you're here today." I'm going to have to face his rejection of me,his kids, us? No thank you. "We would like to run a question and answer test with personal experiences of most recent to the oldest.Usually just asking the patient if they remember what happened in the accident doesn't do much."

"He knows what happened?"

"Yes, we explained everything, immediately he asked for Taylor." Part of me just sighed a breath of relief, but the other part just broke.

"Oh." I don't say anything else. I want to get this meeting over with.

"I thought it would be best to ask you for events, people, places that he should know.

Can I do this?List memories that our vital to our past only for him to possibly not remember them.

"Take your time." I take a breath.

"Kenneth. He is our son we adopted a few months ago." This only makes the memory of Hyde and Genevieve walking through the hospital doors.

The doctor makes a note.

"Alexander. Our daughter's boyfriend and our assistant at work."

Pen meets paper again.

"Juliet Kate, our youngest daughter."

"Phoebe Grace,our daughter.

"Teddy. Theodore Raymond, our son."

"Jack Hyde."No need to elaborate on this one.

"Genevieve."Same for this one.

"London,Paris, Versailles, Monaco...our honeymoon destinations." I whisper.I can't help but replay all our laughs and smiles that whole time we were away together. It was one of the best moments of my life.

"July 31, 2012. Our wedding date."

"Ella, his birth mom." I don't doubt he will remember this one. Or the last one.

"Elena Lincoln." If he doesn't remember her, we are all fucked.

 "Thank you, Anastasia. In about an hour we will go through these with him and I'll show you the final report."

Christian's POV

There is a knock on my door before the good doctor himself pokes his head in, interrupting the news.

"Mr. Grey?" I mute the small flat screen and look over at him."How are you doing today?"

"Perfectly fine. When can I get the damn release papers?" The doctor smirks. The little shit.

"We have a few more test to run. Chrissy will come by in a bit to more you to a testing room." Another fucking test. Another fucking room. Another fucking five hours of this shit. Taylor needs to come up here. I nod and he leaves the room. I grab my phone from beside me and call Taylor's mobile.

"Mr. Grey." He answers.

"Taylor, they are continuing to run test, and I don't know how long it will take. Do you mind bring up a decent meal, clean clothes,and fetching any paper work that needs to be done and leaving it in my office in Escala?" There is hesitation on the other end of the line.

"Yes sir. I'll be there as soon as I can." I hang up just as Chrissy walks through the door.

"Hello, Mr. Grey. Are you ready?" He asks pushing a wheelchair into the room. Fucking great.

"I've been ready to get out of here for days now." I answer,cutting off the TV and moving to sit on the edge of the bed. The needle in my arm moves around, causing a bit of discomfort but nothing I can't handle while standing from the bed and sitting to the wheel chair. I hate this so much. I feel too fucking vulnerable and the feeling isn't pleasant. This accident knocked down whatever wall I built up and I don't like it one damn bit.

Chrissy moves the morphine bag stand to my side and instructs me to hold it as she wheels me to who knows where.

We pass the waiting room and the nurses desk. A brunette that resembles some one I know, Lily, or something like that, is sitting at the nurses desk, and another is sitting in the waiting area with her knee bouncing anxiously, her head down, and her phone to her ear.

No one is ever here on this floor. I shouldn't even be here anymore.

I'm wheeled to another awful decorated room with white wall paper,white tiles, teal and blue bed sheets, and an alcoholic scent.

"You can just hop right on up there. Dr. Newton will be here in a little bit." She leaves me to my self. I stand up, stretch my legs and arms. Damn does it feel good. I walk around the small room for a bit with the morphine bag. Why do I even need this? I'm not in pain.I'll bring it up to the man himself.

I feel when the air kicks on in the room and immediately my skin is blanketed I bumps. I get on the bed and and rest back on it. Could time go by slower?

"Christian?" I look over to the door as Dr. Newton waltzes in."Are you ready?"

"Mind if I answer with a question and ask how many 'test' are left in my stay here?"

"Depends on how well you do with this one." Of course. That's always his answer.

He starts listing off people, places, dates, asking if they have any significance to me.

"Do the name Kenneth mean anything to you?" I know I need to actually try to remember these, obviously he wouldn't be asking if it didn't mean anything to me before the accident. I dig a bit deeper.

"No." The doctor makes a note.

"Alexander?"

"No." Pen meets paper again.

"Juliet May?"The only Juliet I know is in Shakespeare's classic, and I don't know a May.

I shake my head.

"Phoebe Grace."

"Grace is my mother, but I don't know a Phoebe." I know for a fact I don't know a Phoebe, but I like the name. Dr. Newton nods with a small smile on his face. Did I get something right?

"Teddy or Theodore Raymond."

"No."

"Jack Hyde."

"I've heard the name. He might be a business competitor, but I can't put a face with the name and I don't know where I've heard it." The doctor mumbles something under his breath before moving on.

"Genevieve."Sounds like the name of some classy whore.

I shake my head.

"London,Paris, Versailles, Monaco? Have you been to any of those places before?"

"Possibly London, but can I remember anything if I did? No."

"Okay. The date July 31, 2012."

"Probably a regular old work day."Nothing special. The doctor hesitates for a moment before asking,hopefully, the last one.

"Ella." I cut my eyes at him. Does he he even have a right?

"That person is branded into my brain. Unfortunately I don't think there is anything that will make me forget her or anything related to her." His face drains of color. I voiced my opinion and it seems he learned his boundaries.

"Final one for now." Thank God! "Elena Lincoln." Well, fuck. I can't look the man in the face now. I pick at the skin around my nails.Something inside of me twist at the mention of her name, something else hungers for whatever feelings are connected to the woman, and something else says she shouldn't mean anything to me now. But the name holds a lot.

"Yes."

"I'll go enter in this test. You can rest in this room for a bit." And he is gone. How much more rest does one guy need? I just need to get back to my apartment and get to work. I just need to go back to my normal life.

Ana's POV

Dr.Newton comes in with a clipboard. I can't tell anything by his face.I sit up a bit straighter, run my fingers through my hair, and my knee starts bouncing. I need answers.

"Everything is pretty basic. I asking his one by one if he knew any of these, and he answered. Here is what he said." I'm handed the clipboard and next to every name, place, or date, I told him is what Christian said. I read his answers over.

No.

No.

No.

Grace is my mother, but I don't know a Phoebe.

No.

I've heard the name. He might be a business competitor, but I can't put a face with the name and I don't know where I've heard it.

No

Possibly London, but can I remember anything if I did? No.

Probably a regular old work day.

That person is branded into my brain. Unfortunately I don't think there is anything that will make me forget her or anything related to her.

Yes.

I read it a second time, a third, and even a fourth. My healing heartbreaks once again for what seems like the millionth time in a three week period.

"Is there anyone you think would be a good idea to bring in and do a more personal test with him? The room he is in has a two way mirror, so you can watch the interaction and see just how better or worse he is." I nod in understanding and think. We know he remembers his family so I don't feel like they would get too deep with him. I look over the list of questions and answers.

"Yeah, there is." Dr. Newton leaves me alone in the meeting type room and I pull out my phone. I take a deep breath before clicking on the number that has had little use in my phone for a while.

"Hello?"

"Hey, I know this is totally out of the blue-" I'm interrupted.

"I heard."

"We ran a few test, and the doctor want's to run another one. Could you come up to the hospital?" There is a pause.

"When?"

"Now?"I hear some muffled voices in the back before I have an answer.

"I'll be there as soon as I can. I'm at the office so it'll be a couple minutes." I nod, even though we aren't in person, and end the call with out another word. I can't stay in this room, let-alone alone,any longer.

I step out of the room and head back to the waiting room. It for sure doesn't smell as pleasant and there are more beeps and the clap of shoe against tile, but with the loud silence in my head I don't need a quiet place. Before I know it my phone is to my ear again.

"Ana?"

"Kate, I really need you to come to the hospital as soon as you can." I say, voice strong but lacking emotion.

"I'm on my way."

No more than five minutes later Kate is speed walking through the doors and immediately wraps me up in her arms when she reaches the waiting room.

"Babe, is everything okay?" she asks smoothing my hair down and cupping my face in her hands. How would I survive with out this woman as my friend?

"The doctor just ran a test, and Christian only remembered people and places from before we even met."

"Oh,honey." I don't know if I can take, or even want, her pity at the moment. I need a back bone.

"And I had to call-"

"Ana?"I look over at the doors. I didn't even hear her come in.

"Elena."Kate moves back and stands up to meet the woman. Kate doesn't know all of the Ana-Christian-Elena triangle but she knows that Elena might as well be poison to the Grey family. She is the first to stick her hand out.

"Katherine Grey." Elena takes her hand.

"Elena Lincoln." Kate sits back down and I stand. "Ana, I am so sorry." I can't find it in me to put anything close to anger between us right now. We have to play as ally's right now. I nod my head.

"You are the one person Christian seems to remember clearly at the moment." I look around. I never thought I would be saying anything like this. I never through she would have to be my first call in an emergency like this. "And you know him." She opens her mouth.

 "Don't. I understand that at this point in life I know him best, but that man isn't here." My voice breaks and a tear slowly rolls down my cheek." He is stuck somewhere in the past and we don't know exactly where. At that point, you are the only one that knew him and-"

"Ana." I stop and take a breath. I take a step closer.

"I don't know what I'm trying to say, but we need to see if what applied between you two then is still the rules that he would follow now. If you know what I mean." The look in her eyes tells me she does.

"Okay."

Dr.Newton comes around soon, herding us all into the "viewing room". Kate holds me in her arms, knowing I could easily fall apart having to watch Christian literally only a few feet away from me. Elena sheds her purse and coat before being instructed by Scott to enter the room. I grab her arms before she leaves.

"Can you do something in there for me?" She just looks at me. "I just have to know." I whisper. She nods her head but the words don't want to come out. My mind doesn't want to picture it either. I look down at my hand still on her arm and then back to her cold eyes. She gets what I'm saying by placing her hand on mine.

"Course."

And one of my reality nightmare starts. Not only does Christian have no memory but I am allowing him to be in the same room with the woman I swore I would never let near my family again.

Scott flips a few switches and buttons and suddenly the window becomes clearer and the room was filled with two voices. I watch this play out, holding back tears.

Elena walks into the room. Christian opens his mouth when he sees her but then closes it. I don't know if he is in shock from seeing her or remembered the rules out lined in his contract under the category"Obedience and Personal Qualities", "The submissive will not speak out unless spoken to or given permission."

"Hi, Christian." She says. Christian blinks a couple times, shakes his head, and finally answers.

"Elena. Mind telling me why you are here?" He still has a submissive tone in his voice but he isn't following the contract anymore. Elena moves to sit on the left side of the bed. When she does, she looks through the window as if she knows exactly where we are on the other side.

"You were in a really bad accident, Christian." She moves closer and my instinct is telling me to cause a scene for her being so close to my husband. "I had to make sure you were alright." She puts the back of her hand against his forehead as if to check for a temperature. Christian starts stuttering.

"Well,I'm...uh, fine." Her hand moves to his shoulder and he tenses."Really, Elena I'm-" She places her hand on his chest and it takes him less than a second to snatch her wrist in his massive hand. He looks down at his catch before glaring at her. She doesn't seem alarmed or offended.

"You know I don't-" He pauses and his face softens. "You are not allowed to touch me." Maybe there is hope.

"Are you sure you're okay?" She probes. Kate's arms tighten around me.

"You're touch just didn't feel right." He mumbles. My breath gets caught in my throat. So either we are back to square one with the whole physical contact thing, or his feelings about her touch specifically doesn't feel right to him anymore. Just like it hasn't for the last eighteen years. I know we all heard him loud and clear but Elena wants him to repeat it.

"What was that?" Her tone is firm but her face seems puzzled. Christian clears his throat.

"You're free to leave whenever you like." Elena nods in understanding and stands.

"Well, stay healthy, Christian." She stands, kisses his cheek, he doesn't do the same.

"You too, Elena." He nods and with out another word she walks out. I turn away from the window and sigh. That could have possibly been one of the hardest moments of my life. Having to watch Christian be the him that I never even knew.

Elena walks back into the room, smoothing her skirt down. Dr. Newton thanks Elena before giving us a "moment alone".

"Ana, I can't imagine how hard that was to watch, or even harder to call me for help. I want you to know that no matter our differences in the past, or any anger you have towards me, I still care about Christian and I want him to get back to how he was before the accident. I've seen my fair share of families being torn apart, and Christian deserves better than that." I don't know where this Elena came from, and I don't know how I feel about it.

"Thank you, Elena. I mean it.

"So do I." She actually smiles. After she slips on her coat again and her purse is on her arm she goes for the door.

"And Ana?" She turns around. "Your Christian is still somewhere in there." She bids farewell and then it is just Kate and I.

"Kate what do I do? He doesn't remember meeting me, he still believes he lives in Escala, so the last, almost, nineteen years never happened in his mind." I'm on the verge of a break down but Kate keeps me together.

"Hey, hey. It's all going to be okay." Her hands move up and down my arms. "We will come up with something." I nod and close my eyes.Oh higher power, help me now!" The ninth is coming up soon."

"So?" I ask. She purses her lips and smiles.

"That's the day you embarrassed your self in front of a millionaire. Since Christian will go back to work at Grey House, you can let him get into the cycle of work again before recreating your most important face plant." I don't know if I'm confused or totally understand.

"So you think if I recreate the last nineteen years in a few days everything will be okay?" I cross my arms. You know this isn't a bad idea. My inner goddess needs to shut up.

"Not everything in your years together, but enough until he has an epiphany and realize how kick ass his life is now compared to then." I wanna say something but Dr. Newton walks in, interrupting us.

"Well, Mr. Grey seems to be good and stable enough. He doesn't need too much medication." He marks something in a file resting in his hands. "Christian can be released at anytime. He gets to go home." Scott smiles. I want to smile too but I can't.

 Where is home?

((So based off this, what are you guys more excited to read about????

Happy Valentines Day! Only 2 more days till they start shooting!!

I'm currently watching Supernatural on Netflix and while I was writing this they mentioned 50SOG. Weird...))