April 19, 20XX
Monday

"I'm going to give her a piece of my mind."

I hide my smile in palm, remembering Yeri's threat and the fire in her eyes.

It was unexpected. So much that I ended up laughing until my stomach hurt. Her being by my side made me happy and I was touched that she was willing to confront Irene for me. In the end, I told her not to bother. If anyone was going to take on Irene, it was going to be me. 

Yet, I had made up my mind to move on the minute that Yeri told me that she wasn't that close with Irene. It was a moment that made me realize that maybe not everyone was against me and that nothing was planned. 

It all just happened.

Taking a look at the empty seat next to me, I wonder where Sungjae is.

Should I text him?

Would I just be a bother?

After the cookout, I didn't want to head straight home and Sungjae could tell that I had just cried my eyes out, so he decided that we would head to the store and get things to decorate his car with.

"I've been needing to get this out of the way. Thank god, you're here to help me."

We ended up buying battery operated fairy lights, a fluffy comforter, throw pillows, and even a tiny cactus plant. His trunk ended up becoming cute and cozy enough for us to watch a movie on his tablet and for us to eat all the snacks that we ended up buying.

It was the most fun I had in months.

Reaching into my bag, I dig around for my cell phone, pulling out one of Yejoon's toys instead. 

"Again?" 

Looking inside, I see that he's hid a whole bunch of stuff, including stuff from my bookshelf.

Hearing a knock on the door, I sit up.

Taehyung standing there was the least of my expectations.

"Jennie?" His soft voice barely reaches my ears. 

I stand up and fix my skirt. "Did you need something, sir?"

He looks taken aback by my formality.

"You don't have to...do that."

I run my fingers along my desk, waiting for him to tell me what he needs.

Biting his lip, he walks in and closes the door behind him.

"Please, leave it open," the waver in my voice reveals how anxious I'm feeling.

He quickly opens the door and turns to me, eyes reflecting the hurt he must have felt.

"I would never...I-I'm sorry."

I gulp, "What can I help you with?"

"I..." he licks his lips, "I'm sorry. I make you uncomfortable. You left early yesterday when I got there. Just so you know... I wasn't supposed to be there, but my therapy appointment was canceled and Yeri told me about Jungkook's barbeque, so I...thought it would be okay for me to show up."

Therapy?

"You had every right to be there," I tell him. "They're your friends more than they're mine."

He nods his head and an awkward silence falls between us.

Taking a look at unoccupied desk beside mine, he asks, "Where's Sungjae?"

I shrug my shoulders, "I haven't heard from him this morning."

He nods, "You two are dating now, right?"

He attempts to mask the pain in his voice with a small chuckle.

Deciding to be truthful, I shake my head. 

He lifts his eyes from the ground to mine, searching for the connection we once had.

"Why did you kiss him?"

My heart flutters, but not in a good way.

"Should you be asking that question?" I quietly respond.

"I'm sorry." He apologized before I could even finish my sentence.

I stare at Taehyung and how soft he looks today. His dark hair curls slightly around his forehead and his sides are freshly trimmed, letting me know that he had gotten a haircut this morning.

Bringing his hands from behind his back, he reveals to be holding a juice bottle. Holding it out in front of him he says, "Here."

I take it into my hands, the bottle reading "Froosh Smoothie" across it. 

My eyebrows furrow. I used to get these all the time during my train ride before school, but I haven't since I finished school since they were only available at the train station.

My head snaps up.

He looks at the ground. "Is it still your favorite drink or am I remembering it wrong?"

My lips part, but I can't say anything.

"I remembered buying it a lot, so I assumed that it might've been because of you."

Oh.

My shoulders fall.

Taking a look at the bottle, I nod. "It used to be my favorite."

He smiles and I can sense how proud he feels, but it only breaks my heart because while he's trying to remember his memories, I'm trying to forget them.

I try to return a smile, but end up looking at the ground as tears flood my eyes,

because I thought about the future.

One where I had moved on, but he just recovered. The Taehyung then would have looked just as proud as he did now to have remembered everything, our whole life together. It would have felt like just yesterday for him, but it would have been years for me. Imagine having to tell him that I was no longer there?

But imagine if that never happened. If he never got his memories. What if I was more in love with who he was then he is now? In truth, I'm scared that watching him change would hurt me more than walking away now.

"Jennie, I'm sorry for being the way that I am..." Taehyung smiles a sad smile as he stares at me, "I'm sorry that you lost someone important to you."

I see him just barely through the blur of my tears.

"But it's not because of my accident. It was my fault. I stayed away from you and Yejoon by my own decision. I'm sorry I left you out of that. I thought I was protecting you by staying away, because you wouldn't see how broken I was. In the end, it was pointless because it ended up happening anyway. I still gave you bad memories of me, of the Kim Taehyung you used to know."

I clench my jaw.

It hurts when he says his name like that. Like it really isn't "him". Like as if there was a body swap and he isn't my Taehyung and could never be my Taehyung.

"If I had stayed," his voice breaks into a soft whisper, "If I had stayed maybe it would have been better, so that we could have healed together. So that it would hurt less if we drifted. Like if you decided you needed to move on, I would be happy because you would be excited about the next chapter of your life and you would be happy knowing that I'm okay, that I'll be okay."

I inhale slowly, my face heating up.

"If we were to do that now, I think there's too much pain between us to make it right again."

Not being able to keep it together anymore, I cover my face with my hands, sobbing into them.

I want you, 

I want you,

It doesn't matter,

I still want you.

I'm suddenly enveloped by Taehyung's warmth, the scent of him right beneath my nose. I melt right into him, into his arms.

His chin rests on top of my head. "I'm sorry."

I shake my head slowly.

"I know that I shouldn't ask for anything from you, but can I just ask you one thing?"

He exhales deeply, breath wavering,

"Go on a date with me, the me that I am today."

Author's note;;

It was Yeri's advice that helped Taehyung build the confidence to approach Jennie on this day! Also, I legit cried when Jennie started thinking about the future. "Your eyes tell" and all of Taehyung's solo songs are to blame. brb crying again.