Eclipse Of The Moon ~ Book 1 of Aaron
Chapter 13
Ominous Threats

Friday 27 September 2002

"What the hell is going on here!?" Coach Evans booms behind me, freezing me on the spot.

Shit!!! No!!! Please not that!! I'm screwed!!!

The pain from the blow in my feet is nothing compared to what I feel deep down because I know I am in fucking troubles right now. The pain in my toes will recede but the possible consequences of being caught red-handed by Coach Evans only means full uncertainty regarding my fate. I have never been in such a situation before, but I can easily imagine what is going to happen. Evans is going to yell at us in a few seconds. He will drag us to the Principal's office. And from then on, the nightmare will begin as the latter will have no other choice than to call our parents and inform them. We'll certainly get detention too. We might be in for suspension.

And worst of all, my parents will find out I'm gay. This means hell for me. And maybe far worse than that.

Get a grip, Aaron! You can't brood over dark thoughts now. Think straight! And now!

Since I am still on my knees in front of Danny, completely frozen by the situation and its potential consequences, I can't help but notice the tears spilling from his eyes and I wish I could hug him for comfort, but I just can't. For one, it would only escalate the confrontation, then it seems like my own muscles refuse to obey the orders my brain is giving them. This is fucked up and I can only foresee further troubles ahead.

However, Danny is in no better state, he will suffer the same potential consequences as I will, and if his parents are not homophobic like he told me once, they are still very strict. I have my share of responsibility in this mess and I want to try and save us from huge problems.

Appearances are clearly against us, yet I think we could get through. One good thing is that we are not naked. Danny is only in his briefs, but I am wearing my jeans and even if I have to stand up, there won't be an incriminating bulge at the front of my pants since my cock deflated by the second I heard Coach Evans' voice. There is nothing obvious about sexual intercourse, so it can't go too far in terms of sanctions.

"Please act..." I mouth to Danny very quickly before I turn around and look up to our teacher. "Danny was having some sort of panic attack, Coach!"

"Lies!! I know what you two were doing and you're in big troubles right now!" he replies angrily.

The tone of his voice is filled with hate and disgust, which makes me want to lunge at him for his innuendo. He might be right in his assumptions, but he can't be sure, and in any case, he is not supposed to express his opinion on other people's sexuality. I can feel Danny's body shivering though and I hope he is playing his part well.

"Danny was really not feeling well, Coach! I've just been trying to calm him down! Can't you see the state he's in! Just look at him! Can't you see the spasms?" I reply harshly, returning my attention to my friend. I'm glad to see he is really acting, now hiding his face in his hands.

"I heard suspicious noises..." Coach accuses, insisting sarcastically on the last word.

I perfectly remember that Danny's moans were quite loud indeed, but it was over way before Coach Evans walked into the room, and from behind the doors, he can't have deciphered Danny's words.

"I told you! He was panicking!"

"Stop taking me for a fool, Mr. Cox! Why aren't you near the lockers? Why are you hiding in a shower stall? Why was this door shut?" he yells back at me, his eyes throwing lightening. Shit, therein lies the rub...

"I just tried to..."

"Enough! Now you both dress up and we're going to Mr. Brooks' office!" the coach shouts loudly, leaving no place for further argument. If this reaches the Principal's ears, it is the end of it all. I can't let that happen because Brooks will call our parents. However, he doesn't give me more time to argue as he furiously spins on his heels and heads out. "You've got two minutes! I'm waiting!"

"Sorry, Aaron..." Danny whispers in very low voice.

"Shh... No worries, we'll manage a way out..." I reply similarly and we both hurry to get dressed.

"What are you doing here?" I hear Coach Evans ask dryly just after the door of the locker room creaked again.

"I think I got lost..." a cheering voice I am so glad to hear replies with heavy sarcasm.

"You're not supposed to be here, Mr. Pierce. All the students have been dismissed for the rest of the day after the drill exercise, so you should be either at the library or on your way back home!"

I motion for Danny to follow me now that we are ready and to keep quiet. Without a noise, we reach the change room, where Coach Evans is facing away from us and toward a smug Joshua whose deep blue eyes stray in my direction above the teacher.

"Yes, right..." he trails off, squinting at the same time. I quickly reach a finger to my mouth, thrusting it twice to make him understand we were caught doing naughty things, and I think he gets the message. "I heard about that..."

"Then if you know, please go away!"

"Ahem..." I clear my throat, announcing our presence and the teacher turns around to look at us. In the background, I see Josh gesturing for me to keep it down. "Coach, I'm sorry we missed the drill exercise, but I don't think it requires to bother Mr. Brooks..." I then say intentionally so that Josh finds out what Danny and I are in for.

"I don't believe a word you said, Mr. Cox. I still think you and Mr. Cooper stayed behind to... do things, like someone suggested... Mr. Brooks will decide on the sanction!" he says dryly, disgust still showing on his face.

Like someone suggested?

Is this what he just said? Then this means someone ratted on us!! And I can think of only one person doing this! I'm going to smash that bastard's face!

"You have no evidence of that!" I accuse. "I was just trying to help Danny who was unwell when you arrived! This is absolutely wrong!"

"This is not for you to judge, Mr. Cox. And my job is to report this sort of situation to the Principal!"

"Please, Mr. Evans..." I beg but Joshua decides to interfere.

"Isn't this a teacher's job to first make sure all his students are present before they leave a classroom, or the gym for that matter, when the fire alarm goes off?" he asks with barely hidden sarcasm.

"I had to look for these two for ten minutes before I found them! Go mind your own business, Mr. Pierce!"

"I just don't really see the point involving the Principal if you don't have evidence, Coach Evans, especially in regard of what I just pointed before..." my friend replies in a smug tone. I don't know where he gets all this self-confidence, but the way he stares at the teacher tells me he has something in his mind. "A minor detention would be enough of a sanction for missing the exercise. If you involve Mr. Brooks, it will lead to major issues with parents, your accusations are serious, you don't seem to even have the beginning of a proof and..."

"This is not my problem, Mr. Pierce..." Coach Evans replies with a smirk. "And still none of your business either, by the way. Now, please move from the door and..."

"You're right, it's none of my business and yet, I feel compelled to interfere. My father will certainly suspend his donations to the school when he learns that such..."

"Ah!" Coach Evans bursts out laughing, interrupting Joshua once again. "These rich kids who think they have more privileges than others because their parents donate to the school!! It doesn't work like this, Mr. Pierce, and I strongly suggest you get out of my way before you also get in trouble for blackmailing a teacher! I doubt your father would approve of... disgusting acts... between two boys anyway!"

Well, he has a point here. Pierce Senior is as homophobic as my parents and I don't understand what Josh is trying to prove here. Yet, he doesn't falter the slightest bit. He is still leaning against the doors, blocking the access out, and wearing the smuggest expression I have ever seen him bear. All traces of arrogance soon disappear though, replaced by deep seriousness and coldness fills his eyes.

"I wasn't talking about this sort of argument, Coach..." Joshua whispers dryly. "More like the Sharon-Lopez sort of argument, if you see what I mean?"

I have no clue what Josh is talking about. The name vaguely rings a bell to my ears... I think this Sharon was one of the Senior cheerleaders two years ago, but I'm not sure. However, I think Coach Evans understands and the teacher definitely marks a moment of hesitation.

"I don't know what you mean..." he stutters awkwardly.

"Oh, don't you?" Joshua snorts. "April 23rd, 2001. 2.40pm. It was on a Monday. I don't know why I took Photography that semester... but I did, and it turns out that on this Monday April 23rd, I had to go to the lab... I just wanted to bring back the camera I had borrowed... Needless to say I drew back... Though not without taking pictures... Do I need me to make myself any clearer, Coach?"

I have long stopped staring at Joshua delivering his little speech. Seeing all colors leave Mr. Evans' face as he blanches more and more with every second is more fun. Really, I don't know what Josh is talking about, though I have my guesses now, but the coach does. The sudden silence in the locker room is deafening and lasts for a whole minute before the old man re-collects himself.

"Cox and Cooper, you will be on detention for an additional hour all of next week after PE for having missed the drill exercise. I'd better not catch you again, or this time, you'll end up in the Principal's office," he seethes, throwing me a death glare that is full of evil promises before he turns back to Josh. "Mr. Pierce, follow me to my office."

Without another word, he lunges for the door. Josh steps to the side to let him pass and follows suit, leaving Danny and me alone here after a wink.

"What the heck was this about?" Danny mutters.

"I have no idea, Buddy, but we'd better get out of here now."

"We'll have to thank your friend for saving our butts..." he says as we head out of the gym and toward the gates of the school. I see that Mark and Camden are still hanging there, so I would rather avoid starting a naughty conversation on how Danny could thank Josh.

"Don't worry about that," I reply instead. "Go home now and we can talk on Monday. I doubt I'll be able to hang out this weekend when I tell my parents I have detention next week..." I add when we reach my friends.

"Okay, me neither anyway... Have a good weekend all the same," he whispers in a small voice before he scampers away.

"Fuck! What happened, Aaron?" Camden growls a second later. "And where's Josh?"

"He's with Coach Evans," I reply before I quickly tell them the entire story.

"Shit! I'm so sorry, Ron! I didn't think he'd be looking for you! I had more or less guessed you and Danny were messing around, but I thought you'd be cautious!"

"We were! I think someone ratted on us, because it wasn't that long before Evans arrived... But it should be okay now..."

"Aaron, don't be too sure about that..." Mark says warily. "I don't know how it came up, but the rumor spread really fast. I heard several people talk about two guys having sex in the locker room on my way here, and I hope it won't reach Brooks' ears..."

"Or worse... my parents'... Shit!! Someone definitely started this rumor on assumptions... because I'm pretty sure we were alone in the room!" I grumble. "Here's Josh..." I then say as our friend eventually shows up at the gates, all relaxed and obviously self-satisfied.

"Okay, I know you want explanations, so there it is..." Joshua says as we head toward our shack. "Long story short... I once caught Coach Evans fucking Sharon Lopez in the lab room and took pictures. I've always hated him, so I thought it might be useful one day. They've been hidden in my bedroom since then and to be honest, I had pretty much forgotten about them. Anyway, seems like they got finally useful and that's it."

"Thanks, Josh... I don't know how to thank you for that..."

"I have a few ideas, but let's not go down that road for now," he smirks.

"Yeah, anything you want but forget about my ass," I huff back at him. "So, what did he say in his office?"

"Oh, he tried to coax me into bringing him the pictures so that he can destroy them. I told him it was too easy, and that I didn't trust he wouldn't cause you problems afterwards. I just promised I wouldn't use the pics again for further blackmail anyway and that he had no other choice than to trust me. He's not very happy, but I don't really care. Be cautious though, because I think he might give you hell for the rest of the semester..."

"That wouldn't be surprising," I grumble.

"Damn! You got some nerve, Josh!" Mark exclaims and we all agree.

"Yeah... Got that from my father, I guess," he sighs. "Now you, Aaron Cox... you seriously fucked up!" he then adds.

"Thanks for reminding me..."

"Give me at least some details now!"

And when we are comfortably settled in the shack, I once again tell them the whole story. The guys tease me a lot on the fact that I didn't even get release in return but after an hour around them, I feel much more relaxed than I was when I first heard Coach Evans' booming voice in the locker room. I'm afraid the next few classes with him are going to be awkward and tense, and I know I will have to be on my best behavior around him until the end of the semester because he will probably seek revenge, but at least, I am safe from trouble with the Principal and my parents.

Joshua also tells me that he saw that fucker of Isaac speak with the coach during the drill exercise, but he can't be sure he was talking about Danny and me. Camden says he wouldn't be surprised. The jerk saw Danny and me get in late at the gym and he must have guessed we were still there when he noticed our absence later on. I swear I'm going to end up kicking his ass one day!

As for the rumors in school, I just hope the weekend will have shut them by the time I go back there on Monday. My parents' only real friends are the Millers and their daughters go to a Catholic school so there is no way they could hear about it. There still remains the Isaac Issue, but I doubt he would go and stop by my place to tell my mother, right? As bad as he is, I just can't imagine him knock on the door and say: I'm sorry, Mrs. Cox, but Aaron just got caught having sex with another boy in the locker room... Yeah, no... That would be really blunt and horrible.

Before we leave, Joshua reminds us he won't be able to hang out in the next two days as his parents are taking him to New York for his birthday. This is a bit early, but his genitors have decided to go on a two-week trip to Europe in October, just across his birthday, so they want to celebrate in advance. Of course, Josh doesn't mind at all because it means he will have the house to himself – well, almost, because Liz will still look after him somehow – and they also promised they would buy him the latest Nokia mobile phone on Saturday in New York to replace his former Motorola.

Mark will also get a mobile phone from his parents at the end of next month for his birthday as he has been bugging them. Camden and I will continue to stand off cellular-less for different reasons. In his case, it's just that his mother cannot afford offering him one, but he doesn't really care. As far as my parents are concerned, well, you can't expect kids to have a mobile phone in a family like mine. One with archaic principles and in which even watching television is forbidden to children unless it is to watch the news or certain documentaries on History Channel... I wish I had one though. I could use it to text with my friends in the evening.

It is barely 5:30pm when I get home and I am surprised to find the house empty. Well, not entirely empty since the door is not locked, but I suppose Noelly must be in her bedroom, either reading the Bible or praying by her private altar. Catherine may have been delayed at her school, but my mother should be here with Ananie, so I find it a bit strange. However, I don't dwell on this too much and go do my homework upstairs for once.

About an hour later and after a warm shower, I am beginning to worry a bit because I haven't heard anyone come back. Everyone should be home now. We should be praying the rosary at this time. Dinner should be ready and we should all be about to settle at the dining table to thank God for our meal and start eating. This is really weird... My father rarely gets home late and even when he does, at least my mother and sisters are here! There is an unsettling feeling creeping me right now, something I can't explain but which pushes me to go and knock on Noelly's door.

Since Rose got married and moved in with her husband, the youngest of my sisters now has a bedroom to herself, which she appreciates greatly. This is the first time I set a foot inside it though, and I am not surprised to see that the place holds the bare minimum of a bed, a chest of drawers, shelves with books related to Catholicism and her home-altar. Seeing her kneeling in front of her shrine, with her head lowered and her hands together is not so surprising either, but what confuses me is the way her lips move faster when I walk in. Their pace only increases when I softly call her, but never does she stop praying to reply to me.

After a good ten minutes waiting for her current prayer to end, I give up, understanding that she is lost in her own world, whispering the same one again and again. Shaking my head, I quietly shut her door and go downstairs to try and call my father's cellular phone with the landline. Unfortunately, it goes to his voicemail, so it doesn't get me anywhere. With a sigh, I return to my bedroom where I lie down on my bed and close my eyes, feeling worse and worse. Not even Linkin Park's Hybrid Theory, which I borrowed from Joshua, will soothe my anguish, so I quickly discard my player and headphones underneath my bed.

All sorts of scenarios are running through my head to explain their absence. I first try to think hard about the recent conversations I heard, but I can't remember anything about a special event today that I could be missing, like a charity gathering at church or something like that. What else, then? I hope no one had a problem or an accident... My father is turning 60 in December, so he is not getting any younger. What if he had a heart attack? No! My father is healthy as a horse and solid like a rock. Nothing like this can happen to him.

I must have dozed off at some point because I am startled awake by my bedroom door being slammed shut, causing my heart to race in my chest. I could have screamed in fright, but there is just no noise escaping my throat when I open my eyes and see my father slowly walking toward me. The first emotion I feel is relief because however much I am in conflict with him and his ideas most of the time, this is still my father and I am glad to see he is here and not in hospital or whatever.

Nonetheless, the relief is very brief. It lasts for barely a second before fear takes over, naturally inducing my nails to start scratching the palms of my hands.

There are so many emotions on my old man's face that I can't decide which prevails on the others.

Wrath is the one that scares me the most, I think. I can tell his body is the stiffest I have ever seen him; the powerful muscles of his chest and arms are straining against the fabric of his dress shirt and I should advise him to loosen his tie because I think it's strangling his neck. So much so that his face is crimson red, but that could be another sign of his deep anger as well.

The determination in his eyes matches his pace as he is taking short steps toward my bed, like a predator closing in on his prey. His brows are furrowed, his eyes narrowed, his lips tied into a thin line, and his entire body is tense. His death glare is freezing me, and Coach Evans' booming voice is nothing compared to what emanates from my father. I feel trapped and with no way out.

However, what achieves me and what makes me understand that I am in fucking trouble is the disgust displaying on his face. That emotion is the one prevailing on the others as he reaches me, only stopping when his shins hit the edge of my bed. He is towering me from his impressive height, I feel cornered, but what scares me to no end is the realization that he knows. He knows what happened this afternoon.

He might not have fill knowledge of the story because only my friends, Danny and I know all the details of what exactly happened in the locker room. And yet, I can tell he has heard about something.

Rumors.

A distorted version of the truth.

Something that's probably wrong.

Whatever. The result is the same. He won't care if I simply kissed a boy, made out, gave him head or got blown, fucked him or took a dick up my ass. Whatever the degree of involvement in the act, all he will remember is the fact that I interacted with another male.

Abomination.

I can read this in his eyes, clear as daylight. My own body has frozen, but my brain is running at full speed. I already have my guess on how my father will react, but several options are opening up and I'm not sure any of them will suit me. He might kick me out and that would be the best one, I guess. At least, he would be taking the decision I have tried to make for myself for so long now and I would comply right away, even if the fact that I'm not 18 yet might complicate my life in many ways. Not mentioning that I would go crazy without my best friends around...

However, I doubt it'll happen.

I am his only son, his only hope to perpetrate the Cox name in the future. I could be wrong; he might have worse ideas, and this could include permanent grounding until the end of the schoolyear, catholic camps at each school break, more time at church, and a lot of confessional time. I also bet on some corporal punishment, though I can deal with that, much better than the rest.

Somehow, I have a feeling that it could be even worse, and this is what makes my neurons work at full speed.

I don't want any of that. Or at least not all of that. If this means lying and doing more efforts in the future, I will do so. I need to work myself a way out of this fucking mess!

Please, Josh!!! Send me some of your self-confidence because I'm going to need it now!

I just can't help wondering how the incident came to his ears, though. Is it that bastard of Isaac? Or didn't Coach Evans keep his promise?

"What's wrong, Dad?" I ask in the clearest voice I can manage, but it's far from firm.

"What's wrong?" he repeats in a seething voice. "How dare you?"

The booming voice echoes to the loud smack as his hand slaps my face, making my head tilt to the right. It was hard. Not hard enough for my teeth to cut the insides of my cheeks or for my jaw to crack, but it still stings painfully.

"You are an abomination! Remember Leviticus 20:13! If a man has sexual relations with a man as one does with a woman, both of them have done what is detestable. They are to be put to death; their blood will be on their own heads!" he recites with disgust and anger.

Fuck! I would have preferred he quoted 18:22! Now this is really bad! Does he truly think I should die because I am gay? Seriously? Would a father be ready to crucify his own flesh and blood because he is a sinner in the eyes of God? Is my father that extreme in his beliefs?

Honestly, I don't know. I wasn't expecting this, and I am at a loss for a few seconds. I don't want to die. I don't want any of what he has in mind right now, especially as he is unbuckling his belt and slipping it out of the loops of his trousers. However, I am not fast enough to react, and the first strike hits me on my thigh, causing me to curl up on my bed.

Abomination! he growls before the next strike hits my backside. I am wearing pajamas made of a thin fabric, which doesn't alleviate any of the burn provoked by the licks of the leather.

Abomination! he growls again when the third blow reaches my backside again.

Abomination! again as a fourth one slaps across the small of my back.

Abomination! one more time when the belt smacks my left hip.

This has to stop. I can't let him do this to me. How did he even hear about it? What does he know exactly?

Lies!!!

Lies saved me earlier from Coach Evans. Lies could save me again from my father this time. Can I lie to my old man as good as I did earlier? Will I have enough self-assurance in front of him? Of course, I can do this! I have lied to him so many times before, this has become a second nature to me. I can even lie to my mother and Father Joseph without a problem. And do I feel guilty about it when I do? No, not at all. These lies only aim at preserving myself and I won't hesitate to sin through lies again tonight.

"Daaaaaaaad!!! Stoooop!" I scream, eventually recovering the use of my muscles and cowering away from him. I manage to scoot off the bed, still getting another whack on my calf, but at least, once I am down on the floor, it makes him break in his fierceness.

"You're an abomination! Why would I stop?" he asks.

Time to act, Aaron! Don't fuck up!

"Why are you calling me this? I don't understand!!" I mumble, exaggerating my sobs, although my tears are real.

"You don't understand? I know what happened at school today, Aaron! I am surprised I haven't been called by the Principal yet! He should have reported this to me right away!" he accuses angrily.

So, this tells me that Coach Evans held his tongue and didn't tell the Principal, but it doesn't mean he didn't call my father.

"Report what!?"

"What abomination you endeavored in in the locker room at school! With another boy! You are a double sinner, Aaron! You had sex before marriage! And... and with another male! This is detestable!" he screams.

So, he got a distorted version it seems. My father would have clarified with oral sex if he had known the truth.

"I didn't!!! That's not true!!" I reply in defense, mustering the best shocking tone I can.

"This is not what Mrs. Jones heard from her son!!!" he barks at me.

Mrs. Jones... Isaac Jones. That motherfucker. I knew somehow he was the source of the problem!

"What?" I exclaim with mock innocence.

"Did you think it wouldn't reach our ears, Aaron?" my father asks seething. "I will go to your school and ask for a meeting with your teacher to have more details, but meanwhile, the rumor has spread! This poor Isaac was so shocked to hear you were... a disgusting... homosexual sinner... that he had to confide in his mother about what he learned! And what he learned is that you had... sex in the locker room with another... male!" he explains, ready to lash another strike.

"Stoooooooop! These are lies!!!!" I scream, opening my eyes wildly in shock and this stops him.

"Lies? Why would they be lies?" he asks harshly.

And that's when it strikes me. All these years in church, studying the Bible, bearing with the history of Catholicism, they might be my salvation tonight. I can use this knowledge against my father, and this time, as I rise to my feet and approach him, I don't need to fake the anger that's bubbling within me.

"Have you become Pontius Pilate, Dad?" I ask coldly.

"Wh... What!?"

"You're judging your own son without a fair trial! You're condemning me without even giving me a chance to explain or provide my version of what happened! This is bad, Dad... You're definitely like Pontius judging Jesus of Nazareth without any real motivation or evidence! You're ready to crucify one of God's sons without valid arguments," I whisper, seething in my turn.

My little show seems to carry the desired effects and to destabilize him so, emboldened by the thrill of overpowering him, I keep it on.

"I'll tell you what happened, Dad... The truth is I was a bit late in PE with another classmate and we were still in the locker room when the fire alarm went off. I knew it was an exercise and other than the fact that these are annoying, that classmate of mine suddenly felt unwell and I stayed with him to support him, because you know, Dad... leaving him suffering wouldn't have been very catholic of me..." I lie, panting heavily. "I don't know what got the rumor started, but indeed, Coach Evans caught us half naked. So abnormal in a locker room where students are supposed to change into sweat clothes..." I add, sarcastically.

"But... but..." my father stutters, but I don't give him time to continue.

"He also thought something happened... something about sex... And I don't know, Dad... Maybe some students heard him from behind the doors and didn't wait for our explanations... Maybe that Isaac was among them... But who is he to judge something he didn't witness?"

My father just remains speechless in front of me. Most of my words are lies, of course, but I don't care. I will even go confess at church if it pleases God, I know Father Joseph would have to keep it confidential. I wouldn't tell him all the details, but I could tell him I lied to my father. Anyway, I am too intoxicated from shutting my old man, so I decide to go even further in my little act and accusations.

"What is it again that Church is teaching us, Dad? Judge not, that you not be judged!?"

"Oh, you're not going to teach me the Bible, Aaron! Jesus never said he didn't allow his disciples to judge the behavior of others. He only cautioned them to live the righteous lives! He only warned them to be cautious in their judgements because they would be judged in the same manner!"

"I agree, Dad, but the Bible also says: Respect for the reputation of persons forbids every attitude and words likely to cause them injury! Then you and Isaac are guilty of rash judgement because you are judging without solid foundation! Isaac is guilty of detraction because he disclosed my supposed faults without knowing them! Guilty of calumny because he harmed my reputation with false judgements! But that's fine, Dad! If you'd rather believe a sinner, just do so! Go ahead! Beat me down! Let God watch you sin in your turn! I'm just not sure I will see you in purgatory because I wouldn't do that myself!"

By the end of my speech, I have a hard time catching my breath, but it's not because of speaking so much. It has more to do with the exaltation of seeing my father realize his mistake. In a way, what I have just done is terrifyingly mean because I did sin in the eyes of God, and much more than what I did this afternoon. This may not be fair, but part of my reasoning is still legitimate.

Isaac wasn't in the locker room when I gave head to Danny this afternoon. He only assumed what was happening there and I am now certain he was the one to lead Coach Evans to us. It still proves him guilty of calumny and detraction because he had no evidence. And my father's case is just not any better. He judged me without allowing me a fair trial, which is highly condemnable.

"Oh God..." he eventually sighs, remorsefully.

Do I feel bad for making him feel guilty? Not at all. This is a fair revenge for all these years of pressure on me.

"What am I supposed to do now? Who am I supposed to believe?" he moans to himself, running a nervous hand through his hair.

Obviously, he still has doubts... So no, I don't feel bad at all.

"You're still wondering?" I snort.

"When there's smoke, there is fire, Aaron..." he replies coldly. "Now be honest with me! Did you have sex with that other boy this afternoon?"

"No, Dad! I didn't!" I lie smoothly.

Please God, don't make him ask me if I did in the past.

"Are you attracted to males, Aaron?"

His question catches me off-guard because I wasn't expecting this one and it takes me a bit too long to answer, leaving him the opportunity to form his own opinion.

"Homosexuality is an abomination, Son. I won't let you become one!" he says dryly. As if I could decide on that! "This is so... disgusting..." he spits dejectedly, almost retching. "How... how can you even... consider... such vile practices... such...foul and repugnant things...?"

It's anything but loathsome for me, Dad... You should try penetrating an asshole, it's actually blissful... though completely against God's idea that seed should meet an egg, not bowels, I admit...

"This is just sick!" he then adds, suddenly very thoughtful. "If only you could... realize how nasty it must be... Ugh... Disgusting..."

His talk is actually making me sick, but not for the same reasons as he does. Now that I have tried it, gay sex is just who I am. I love it and to me, it is the most delightful thing. I wish he would accept me as I am, but he is too blinded by his own beliefs.

"This is enough for tonight," he sighs after a minute of silence, staring at me coldly. "I need some time to think this over. I really wonder where things went wrong with you... where your mother and I failed... Maybe it's this school... I don't understand... Your sisters went there and they never had a problem... Maybe a Catholic school would work better... A boarding school..."

My heart sinks into my chest at those last whispered words. Words that he is more whispering to himself, as part of his reflection than for my attention. But I still hear them, and this is the worst threat of all. One that I couldn't accept.

"Dad, no... I'm fine in this school!! I promise nothing ever happened! My soul is safe! And I won't let it get lost! I'll change!!"

The words are out of my mouth before I can think twice, but I don't regret them because a glint of hope suddenly sparkles in my father's eyes, and this is all I need to see in them right now. Once again, my neurons have worked at full speed and I know how I must work this out now.

"You're right, Son... Your soul is still safe..." he says softly with a small smile. "We will fight this disease, Aaron... But whatever it takes, I won't let you become one of those deviant sinners..." he then adds with conviction and relief before he walks out.

Oh God...

I don't know what I have gotten myself into yet, but this is going to be painful. I should have lied further on. I should have firmly denied my attraction to males. I already have an idea of what this is going to imply in terms of surveillance from my parents and visits to the confessional. This is going to be hell, but I think I can deal with this better than if I had to go to a boarding catholic school. That would be worse than hell.

One more year, Aaron... You can do this...

One more year having to fake piousness.

One short year having to bear with all this and probably more.

One last year until you're 18 and free to leave this place.

Just one year until you are allowed to cash those $10 000 on the bank account your grandparents opened for you.

But at least it'll be another year beside Camden, Joshua and Mark. Maybe not the year you would have dreamed of, full of sex and what not, but still a year around your best friends, receiving their support. This is worth anything else.

I will do it, even if it means lying, faking, and whatever else.

Published on 15 July 2019

Such a complicated situation for Aaron... Whether it's Isaac, the teacher, his father, the priest or whoever else, you can bet it won't yield anything good.

Regarding what happened with the teacher, I know it will sound a bit like a tall story, but well, it's just a fiction and the point was mostly to show Joshua's self-assurance and business-like attitude, these traits that we already saw in I Would Give Him The Moon.

Now... BEWARE!!!! Because we're there... The traumatic birthday is here, so you're warned. The next chapter will be painful and you will finally get to know what happened back then. Three years of a long wait for those who were already here back in early 2016 when I published I Was Shooting For The Moon, I Hit Two Stars... Anyway, you've had four books and thirteen chapters to get ready, so... see you next week for the beginning of Aaron's slow descent into hell.