Everything aches. I have no energy. Part of me wants to move upstate with Dad and leave everything behind. Who needs Nana's China anyway? This Lymes Disease makes me feel like an old woman at 20 years young. The doctor's thought I had MS for a while. My gynecologist told me the symptoms were all in my head and that I should go to the beach and relax. Then he thought I had Endometriosis. Turns out I have both! Which came first, the tick bite or the lady problems? Blah blah blah....

I'm sick of being sick. I can't even complain about it because everyone's got bigger problems. Dad's mourning his dead wife. My sisters are mourning our dead mom and so I'm stuffing down the pain. Pain? What pain? Even wrapping Nana's China exhausts me. Maybe I should take a page from Jo and smash it all? Stuff is a burnen. I'm a burden. I wanna ask Dad if I can live with him at the cabin. Going to school and working is getting to be impossible. He probably wants to be alone. I'll see him in the summer. I'll take it one semester at a time. What was I thinking? With my health issues, becoming a doctor is a stretch. Getting up in the morning and walking to the mailbox wears me out. I've gotta be strong. I don't let anyone know how my Lymes Disease is killing me. Maybe I'll find the cure? Maybe I'll wake up tomorrow healed. You could do that God. Heal me please.