Dad

I'm sweating. I haven't had a sip of water in hours. How long can a person live without water? I used to know that. My brain function is slipping. It's so cold. I don't feel cold though. It's like when you've been playing in the snow for hours and your gloves are soaked through. Your mom calls you in for hot chocolate. Mmmmm hot chocolate with mini marshmallows and whipped cream. You gotta have both. Where was I? My mind is drifting. I'm suffocating. With each breath I get less air into my lungs. They feel as if they're filling up with slimy gravel.

I don't want my daughters to find me like this. Cold and stiff in our summer cabin. What if I crawled outside? Maybe a coyote would eat me? Hide the evidence of my demise... Do coyotes eat humans? I used to know this too. I have a gun. I'm thinking about putting bullets in it... No, I can't do that.  If I had a little light I could write a note. I'm sorry girls. I thought I could be stronger. I thought I was better prepared. No one is prepared for this...

Mary were you in agony before you died? I can't bear the thought of you dying in this way. Oh no... now I'm crying. More liquid is leaving my body. I guess my death will come that much quicker.

I'm sorry Mary.

I'm sorry my little women.

"Hold on Reggie."

"Mary is that you?"

"I'm dead Reggie, how could I be talking to you?"

"Mary, I need a pen and paper."

"Reggie, you need to drink some water."

"There is no more water."

"Get some snow in a pot... put it near the embers. It will melt."

"It's too dark Mary. I can't see a pot. Even if I could, I'm too weak."

"Reggie, you are the strongest man I know."

"I let you down Mary."

"Never... hold on Reggie. It won't be long now."

"Mary? Mary... Quite contrary... How does your garden grow? I miss your garden Mary..."

When I woke from my dream there was a pot of melting snow near the glowing fireplace. A bigger log must have lit from the remaining embers. I don't remember getting any snow but my clothes are soaking wet. Is it sweat from crawling out the front door? I don't smell too bad. Are those wolves howling in the distance? Wolves definitely eat people. I didn't even know there were wolves in the area. I can put off the idea of being eaten by wild animals. I have water now but it's across the room. It may as well be a mile away. My muscles feel like pudding. Yummmm warm melty chocolate pudding.

I'm gonna let myself drop from this sofa. Thud! Ouch... Stop drop and roll. No... that's for fires. I could throw myself into the fireplace--make it look like an accident.

Someone's knocking at the door. Somebody's ringing the bell. Someone's knocking at the door... Somebody's ringing the bell... Do me a favor. Open the door. And let 'em in. Yeah, yeah... Everything is fading into black...

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