Meg

Have you seen the musical West Side Story? There's a part at the end where Maria finds out Tony shot her brother. She says, "Make it not be true, make it not be true..." over and over.

I always thought, "That's stupid. How can you pray for something after it's already happened? Lately I've been wishing the same sort of thing. When I wake up I hope this pregnancy thing is just a bad dream. I pray to God, "Make it not be true..." I think God must smile or laugh at the lunacy of it all. Then again God knows the future right? Maybe I could pray to not be so irresponsible and God will hear my prayer in the future and I won't be pregnant in the past. Okay it sounds ridiculous but if only...  Make it not be true God. Make it not be true.

Rory's face and number flashed on my Iphone. I'm not ready to talk to you Rory! Should I answer and try to sound chill? He'll be able to tell something's wrong right away. I haven't called him in days. He's probably feeling awkward about our hook up. Ugh! Who says hook up Meg?

I have only seconds to decide to decline the call, let it go to voicemail or answer it.  I take a deep breath and try to sound as normal as possible.

"Hiya Rory. I was just thinking about you."

What is wrong with me? Just pull off the bandaid and tell him!

"Are you okay Meg?" Rory asked. "You haven't even texted me in like a week."

"Um... yeah..." I lied. "I'm okay. Just chillin."

"I wanted to talk about what happened." Rory paused. "Are you still there? Meg?"

I bit my lower lip. I didn't know what to say so I said the worst thing possible. "Yeah... about that... It's no big deal."

"NO BIG DEAL!"

I could hear Rory"s heavy breathing. He was mad. If he was mad about us just "hooking up" imagine how he's gonna feel finding out I'm pregnant.

"No... I mean it's a big deal but I mean we're not the first to um... do it." I am such an idiot.  I managed to make things worse.

"No we're not the first and we won't be the last. But Meg, it was our first time and ya know..." Rory got choked up. "I'm gonna visit you this weekend. We've gotta talk about it--in person."

"Okay Rory... If you really want to." I teared up. I needed Rory now more than ever..

"I really want to. See you Friday night bye Meggers."

Meggers rhymes with preggers. Do you know Rory? Can you feel it too? Nah... he always calls me that.

After Rory hung up I fell back onto my bed, covered my face with my pillow and sobbed. I wondered if I sounded pregnant over the phone? I wondered if Rory was praying, "Make it not be true..."

---