Just because I'm sappy.

     800 reads. I'm astonished. I never really expected anything to become of this book. My plan was to write and hope that I could come back to it someday and remember everything that was going on inside my head. I wanted an outlet to release some of my anger into, but instead I thought it might be a better to focus on the happy things.

      To really bring to light all the things in this world that make living worth it. To let both me and others know that not everything in life has to be crappy. To remind myself that there are good things in this world that go unnoticed because we move long too fast to take the time to recognize them. The little things. Music, hot chocolate, fan fictions, those people in your life with the intoxicating laughs, the people you love who can get you high off the sound of their voice or the sight of their smile.

      I want to appreciate these things. These moments. The moments that define me. The moments that make me, as an individual, want to keep trying. So thank you guys. For giving me motivation. For encouraging me, and coming to me with problems.

      For trying, because that's all you can do. You can't just one day get over it. Not everything is as simple as just moving on and leaving your past behind. It's complicated and difficult and stressful. It's worrying to people around you, it's torture for those who care about you.

      But you try to make it better, you try your hardest, and that's all that matters. Everyday, if you get up out of bed and you get dressed, you make an attempt to make your life better, then I already have respect for you. Because getting out of bed in the morning, praying to God that things will be better, although knowing they won't be, it's hard. It's so hard. It makes you want to collapse again into that deep dark pit of mud that nobody can get you out of. 

     You're suffocating in it. It's overpowering you, dragging you down. It's like you're trapped. Stuck in a rut and nothing seems to help. You try to dig yourself out, but it keeps dragging you deeper and deeper until the pain is numbing, the weight on your shoulders crushing you into a tiny compact piece of trash. 

     But then you find something that makes you happy. And it's like there's this ray of hope shining through the thick, dark mud. And you see a way out. So you start climbing and making your way out of the hole. 

     But you never really make it out. You just lay on the surface. Occasionally sinking down and making your way back up again. But you try. 

     You try to make sense of everything. But you're making your attempt. And so I just want to remind you all to try. Because I promise you, things can always get better. 

Give it a chance, you never know where you might end up.