Today on the Middle-earth Calendar: (to be updated)

Video of the Day: Sean Cuts His Foot on Set (And Elijah's Fascination With Blood)

Quote of the Day: "Oh, that's nice! Ash on my tomatoes!" - Pippin

Word of the Day: (to be updated)

Question of the Day: What were the names of Sam's kids? Yes, I mean all of them. XD

Answer to Yesterday's Question: Elves.

Today's Topic: Road Trip with Merry and Pippin - Part Three

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••Please Excuse Any Mistakes••

Part THREE of the road trip with Merry and Pippin...

...sparkles...

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In Rohan... 🐴
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Everyone: *walk into Edoras*

Éowyn: *comes out of Meduseld to greet them* Tarwa!

Tarwa: Éowyn! *hugs her*

Merry: Hey Éowyn!

Éowyn: Merry! *hugs him* *looks at Pippin* And um ... ummmm... *clicks her fingers, trying to remember his name*

Pippin: Pippin. -_-

Éowyn: Oh, right! Pippin! Merry's little helper! *hugs him*

Pippin: -_-

Éowyn: So, what brings you to Edoras?

Tarwa: I just thought you might like to teach some of our readers a bit about life in Rohan.

Éowyn: Brilliant! Well, we obviously LOVE horses here. Do you want to ride one?

Everyone: Yeah!

Éowyn: Great! *gets Éomer to help her bring out the horses*

Merry: Hey, what's this horse's name? *points to a black horse*

Tarwa: I'm guessing Black Beauty?

Merry: She's kinda scary.

Pippin: Her name's probably Night-mare. *laughs at his own joke*

Tarwa: Seriously? AGAIN with the puns?

Pippin: Eh. *shrugs*

Merry: So what do these horses eat, Éowyn?

Éowyn: They--

Pippin: They look like they're built for speed, so probably fast food. *stiffles a laugh*

Tarwa: -_-

Éomer: *hops onto his horse* This is going to be a loooong day...

Tarwa: *hops on her horse* So what's it like to live in Edoras?

Éowyn: It's fantastic! There are so many things to see and do. So many orc heads to rip off and so many Uruk-hai bones to crack! *laughs like mad woman*

Everyone: Uhh... *O_O*

Random_Elf: *warily* Is everyone in Edoras as friendly as you?

Éowyn: Everyone's very friendly! Well, accept for that one couple who live next to the inn ... they don't think that Éomer should be king. They reckon that Gríma was doing a good job.

Tarwa: That's terrible!

Pippin: Sounds like you have some bad neigh-bours!

Tarwa: Seriously, just stop.

Everyone: *still getting the hang of riding horses*

Merry: *his horse stomps and kicks up dust*

Tarwa: *sneezes*

Merry: Oops, sorry Tarwa.

Pippin: Do you get hay-fever?

Tarwa: That's it. *pushes him off his horse*

Pippin: *lands with a thud* Ow! *pouts*

Tarwa: Aww, why the long face?

Pippin: *grins* You just made a horse joke.

Tarwa: What?

Pippin: You say that to a horse when he's sad.

Tarwa: *facepalm*

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In Mordor... 💀🔥
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Tarwa: Well ... this isn't creepy at all...

Pippin: Ooh! Look at the pretty volcano!

Tarwa: Are you not even a little bit scared?

Pippin: Nup.

Tarwa: Okay then...

Everyone: *walks up Mount Doom*

Tarwa: *peers over the edge* Geez ... that lava looks hot...

Gollum: *walks up to them in his bathing suit and towl* Are the hobbitses going for a swim?

Pippin: Okay, sure! *nearly walks off the edge*

Tarwa: Pippin! *grabs his by the collar of his shirt* It's not a jacuzzi!

Gollum: *dives in*

Everyone: *gasp*

*silence*

Merry: Hello? Gollum?

Gollum: *no reply*

Tarwa: *grin starts to form* Is he dead?

Gollum: Come hop in, hobbitses!

Tarwa: *huffs*

Pippin: *pats her on the back* It's okay Tarwa, I'm sure he'll die someday.

Tarwa: Not in Middle-earth, he won't.

Pippin: Whatever. *attemps jump in the volcano again*

Tarwa: No. *grabs him by the collar again*

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In the car, going home... 🚙
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Tarwa: Well ... that was ... um ... fun?

Readers: It's finally over! Phew...

Merry: We're definitely doing this again on my birthday.

Pippin: Where were you born Merry? Was it near a highway? Because that's where most accidents happen.

Everyone: *laughs*

Merry: *glares at Pippin*

Pippin: What?

Merry: If you're going to be two-faced, at least make one of them pretty.

Readers: Ooooh!

Merry: *smiles, pleased with his statement*

Pippin: You inspire my inner serial killer.

Tarwa: C'mon guys, can't we all just get along? Let's change the subject. What's your favourite colour?

Merry: Black, like my soul...

Pippin: I thought that Tarwa was the one with the black soul.

Tarwa: Don't aggravate me today, I'm already running out of places to hide dead bodies.

Pippin: Yeah, well you, um ... you hate My Little Pony!

Tarwa: I've had snappier comebacks from rice crispies.

Merry: *laughs at Pippin* Fail.

Tarwa: No one asked for your life story.

Merry: You talk like an idiot. -_-

Tarwa: Yeah, I'm trying to learn your language.

Merry: Geez, someone woke up on the wrong side of the coffin...

Tarwa: *ignores him*

Merry: All quiet now, are we?

Tarwa: Don't judge my quietness. No one plans a murder out loud.

Pippin: *interrupts* Do your butts ever get jealous of the amount of crap that comes out of your mouths?

Tarwa: Ya know what? I've always wondered why people bang there head on brick walls in movies ... and then I met you.

Pippin: Aww, you know you like me. *winks*

Tarwa: *gags*

Pippin: Go on, ask me out.

Tarwa: Okay. GET OUT.

Pippin: *acts offended* Ouch, Tarwa. Ouch. You hate me that much?

Tarwa: I don't hate you. I'm just saying that if you were on fire and I had water, I'd drink it.

Merry: *interrupts* Oi, Pippin! Shrek called, he wants his face back.

Pippin: You're both meanies. *pouts*

Tarwa: Aww, poor thing! *pinches his cheeks*

Pippin: Stahp! *swats her hands away*

Readers: This is ridiculous...

Gollum: *hops into the car*

Everyone: Arrggghhhh! *all bunch up into the opposite side of the car*

Gollum: Hey, hobbitses! *takes the wheel* Let's go terrorise some people with our beauty!

Tarwa: Ahh, nuts. -_-

Pippin: Deez nu--

Tarwa: *slaps him*

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Helloooooo!

How are y'all? Lalalala...

I'm tired.

Story of my life right there. 👆

I know you guys are annoyed that it's already May, but can we forget about that for now and just have fun? Thanks hobbitses!

Byeeeee!