Today on the Middle-earth Calendar: Yr. 3019 -
1. The Fellowship is attacked by Wargs in the early hours.
2. The Fellowship reaches the West-gate of Moria at nightfall.
3. Gollum begins to trail the Ring-bearer.
And happy birthday Orlando Bloom!

Video of the Day: LEGO Gollum's Karaoke [A/N: Aww, poor Gollum! XD]

Quote of the Day: "PO-TA-TOES!" - Sam

Word of the Day: Ainulindalë (Quenya), meaning 'the music of the Ainur'.

Question of the Day: Which of the Valar did Sauron once serve (not including Melkor)?

Answer to Yesterday's Question: Peter Woodthorpe.

Today's Topic: Ask Arda | Episode One

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*curtain comes up*

Tarwa: WELCOME TO ASK ARDA!

*audience cheers*

Tarwa: Welcome to our first episode of Ask Arda! We answer your Middle-earth questions every Tuesday! Today we have two very special guests: Thranduil and Legolas!

Thranduil: *walks in like a catwalk model*

Legolas: *trails behind*

Tarwa: So, guys, are you excited?

Thranduil: HECK YEAH!

Legolas: Uhhhhmmm, actually...

Thranduil: Yup, he's really excited too.

Legolas: -_-

Tarwa: Great! So, let's hop right into it. This first question is from EmilyMaurer, and she asks: "Can elves get a tan?".

Thranduil: Well of COURSE we can! How do you think I got this perfectness? *points to himself*

Docter_Space: *jumps onto the stage* Huh! As if. Just watch this. *pulls out phone and shows them an ad for Elf Spray-on Tan*

Ad: Elf Spray-on Tan! Doesn't make you look orange like with those poor hobbits, but fabulous!

Doctor_Space: You're welcome! *hops off stage*

Tarwa: *raises eyebrow at Thranduil*

Legolas: Yup, he uses spray-on tan. Elves don't tan.

Thranduil: I could get a tan if I wanted too. *sulks*

Tarwa: There, there Thrandy. Maybe this next question will cheer you up. Eluial asks: "Thranduil, have you ever plucked your eyebrows?".

Thranduil: Of course not! Why would I pluck my eyebrows when they're so fabulous already? *sassy hair flip*

Tarwa: Okay then ... xxblackbutterfly16 asks "Who do you think is more handsome"--

Thranduil: Me.

--"than the other?"

Legolas: Huh, nice try dad. It's me. Duh.

Thranduil: Yes Legolas, you are fabulous, but you've still got a lot to learn, unlike me. I'm the king of fabulous, so... *another sassy hair flip*

Legolas: Dream on, dad.

Thranduil: Hmph!

Tarwa: Alright guys, break it up. You're both equally fabulous. TheOwlery asks "Thrandy, how do you feel about the death of the party elk?"

Thranduil: *tears up* My poor party elk!

Legolas: *pats his back* He's very upset.

Thranduil: He was so beautiful. *cries a bit*

Audience: Awwwww... :(

Tarwa: Aww, you poor thing...

Fangirls in the audience: Oh my Gondor, look how fabulous he looks when he cries! *faint from fabulous overload*

Thranduil: *breaks down into ugly sobs* MY ELKY!!! HE WAS SO FABULOUS!!! *ugly sobs*

Tarwa: *slightly taken aback*

Audience: Uhh... *sit there awkwardly*

True Thranduil fangirls: *still in love with him*

Tarwa: Okay Thranduil, that's enough. Now, I hear you're getting new elk?

Thranduil: *perks up* Yes!

Tarwa: Well, WillTreatyRA asks "What are you going to name your new elk?".

Thranduil: Legolas, duh!

Legolas: Well, that's going to get confusing... -_-

Tarwa: WillTreatyRA also asks "Legolas, where do you get your shampoo?".

Legolas: At a VERY expensive place. *flips hair*

Tarwa: Soooo ... where?

Legolas: Kmart.

Tarwa: Okay... -_- Well, WillTreatyRA also asks: "Leggy, Gimli or Tauriel?".

Legolas: Weeeeeeelllllllll Gimli's an awesome friend, but Tauriel is my one true love, so--

Tarwa: Umm ... no, umm, Legolas? I don't think she means that...

Legolas: Well, what else could she mean?

Tarwa: I think she's asking you which ship you like better. *tries to hold in laughter*

Audience: Ooooooooooohhhhhhh!

Legolas: WHAT THE--?!

Thranduil: *smacks his whole hand over his son's face* How can Legolas, Gimli and Tauriel be a boat?

Legolas: *pulls his hand off his face* THIS IS OUTRAGEOUS!!! WHO SHIPS ME WITH GIMLI?! WE'RE JUST FRIENDS!!! WE--

Tarwa: Okay Legolas, calm down.

Legolas: NEVEEEEEEEER!!! *runs around in circles screaming*

Tarwa: Legolas, I don't think WillTreatyRA actually meant that, I was joking!

Legolas: *sits down like nothing happened* Sooo ... people don't ship me with Gimli?

Tarwa: Oh, of course they do. It's one of the biggest ships there is.

Legolas: WHY DO PEOPLE--

Tarwa: BilboRoth asks: "Who is Kili and Fili's father?"

Thranduil: Uhhmmm ... probably a dwarf? Or maybe it's some mutant monster thing. Oh wait, dwarves and monsters are the same thing.

Legolas: Daaaaaad, answer properly.

Thranduil: Oh, I don't know!

Tarwa: She also asks: "Is it stated anywhere what Sauron's purpose for Smaug was?"

Thranduil: Too many big words!

Legolas: Like what?

Thranduil: Umm ... "stated" and "Sauron" and "was".

Legolas: -_- Well, both Ada and I know nothing about dwarves, so you're going to have to answer these questions for us, Tarwa.

Tarwa: Yay! Well, unlike you two, I study, so I know the answer. So no one really knows who Fíli and Kíli father is. There are many different theories, but they won't tell anyone. As for the second question, we don't even know if Smaug and Sauron met! If they did, it probably would've been in the First Age. So I don't think Sauron really had a purpose for Smaug, but I think he was willing to recruit him if he ever came out alive.

Thranduil: *snoring*

Legolas: *slaps him on his cheek*

Thranduil: *wakes up* Awww, you've bruised my perfect skin! *rubs cheek*

Tarwa: TarmulofMirkwood asks: "Thranduil? Are you absolutely fabulous?"

Thranduil: Is that even a question?! YESSSSSSS!

Thranduil Fangirls: HE'S THE MOST FABULOUS, AMAZING KING IN THE WORLD! OH MY GONDOR, LOOK AT HIS HAIR! IT'S SO PERFECT EEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!! *all die from fabulous overload*

Tarwa: -_- Ugh ... TarmulofMirkwood also asks: "Legolas? Will you marry me?".

Legolas Fangirls: *turn into bloodthirsty monsters*

Tarwa: O_O Ehehe ... just kidding ... Okay, the real question is: "Legolas, what are your feelings on you and Aragorn being put in a romantic relationship?"

Legolas: I'm sorry, what?

Tarwa: *rolls her eyes* Here we go again. PEOPLE SHIP YOU WITH ARAGORN.

Legolas: WHAT?! *jumps his feet* I have lost ALL faith in humanity! *storms out*

Tarwa: Well, there you have it! We've come to an end of our first Ask Arda! Be sure to join us next Tuesday with our guests Merry and Pippin! Leave any questions you have for them in the comments below!

Thranduil: Also be sure to join me on Thursday for Thranduil Thursday! Keep on sending in any rumours you've heard!

Tarwa: Until then, namárië!

*curtains begin to come down*

Thranduil: Wait, I still don't know how people can be ships.

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Credit to Doctor_Space for making the ad! XD