On the early Saturday morning the sleepy owl Wang Guangning was dragged by his fluffy feathers from a warm, cozy nest of blankets by a wild lark Zhang Lingyi. His firm tone and radiant appearance returned this sleepy sufferer to the memorable times of the Great Gay Agreement.

After a hearty breakfast, following the instructions of his energetic partner, our handsome marketing director dived into the car and went to one of the local sightseeing - the city zoo.

This zoo was known to be very popular, especially among foreigners. Guangning himself once, within a distant school spring, visited it, but since then, fate has not brought him to this region. Feeling no particular inclination to observe miracle of wildlife, he was sure that he had long since left that sweet age when there could be found some beauty in visiting such places.

And now the devil brought him here again - and not just only visited, but on ... it's really scary to say ... on a date ... Guangning was amazed at himself.

They walked along a winding path, surrounded by cages in which hundreds of multicolored birds fluttered and chirped, and in this strange place he suddenly felt relaxed and calm, giggling in secret over his own embarrassment and over a proud view of his partner, busily stepping along.

He went slowly, allowing his dreams to carry him away into the distance, when suddenly a loud sound behind him made him flinch and jump on the spot.

Our businessmen turned around and saw a handful of college students who had got out on a wonderful Saturday afternoon for fresh air.

An energetic lady in a denim T-shirt, who heads a flock of boys and girls in a familiar uniform, banged loudly on the whole park:

- Dear students, the first part of our group day event is starting now - an independent walk through the zoo, when you can admire our wonderful animals and birds. Exactly an hour later, everyone gathers on the lawn by the lake in the center of the park - and then the second part of our Saturday event will begin - outdoor games in the open air. And now – DRRRRIFT APART!!

At the command of a loud organizer, a flock of students sprinkled like frightened sparrows.

Zhang Lingyi and Wang Guangning watched in silence as the swirling crowd of younger brothers from their alma mater briskly flowed past, and our partners were wondering, what mysterious goals were spinning in the heads of the organizers for this attack on poor wildlife?

Guangning recalled that in his university years they also had meetings on Saturdays, but they were usually dedicated to environmental protection - and within half-a-day students were gloomy wandering along the shores of Moon Lake, collecting rubbish heaped up by their mind-mates. Sometimes they were engaged in the patronage of lonely old people – that activity was reasonable at least.

Groups of noisy students - three or five in each - were scattering around and caused a headache for Guangning — they were gathered on this beautiful Saturday morning to participate in boring business, but in their young, wild heads only fun and lust for entertainment raged. It was quite understandable, that they, compelled by the teacher to suppress this last, became unmanageable, when were remaining on their own care.

Lingyi, in his turn, was terribly dissatisfied with the fact that so long invented sweet romantic date turned into some kind of stupid soiree.

A bunch of young beauties staring at Guangning - HIS GUANGNING!! Of course, beautiful guys are like natural magnets for young women, but to eat with hungry eyes a stranger, a man. Is there any propriety in the world? Don't you know, that it's indecent to burn a hole in someone else's wife?!

It seemed to him, that a huge fire-breathing dragon stirred somewhere in his stomach, burning his inside by hot breath - and, claiming gong's rights to a handsome beside him, who looked absent-mindedly at the birds, he firmly grabbed Guangning's hand and pulled him away:

- Shou-shou, let's go, let's see something else.

- Beautiful thought, - Shou, annoyed by the noise around, agreed hurriedly. Honestly, this visit to the zoo - an idiotic idea, which could come to mind only to some idiot!

Additionally, in any zoo in the world there is such a peculiar stench, a mixture of a wide variety of flavors - bran, rotting meat, vegetables and fruits, feces mixed with sawdust - and a special smell of wild animals ... So disgusting...

But if you add also bands of little and mischievous children – and not only children, galloping along the paths, like the zebras who had escaped from the paddocks – these obstacles could destroy any romantic atmosphere.

The proud gong was a little annoyed, that his original proposals - the cinema and the water park - were rejected. At last, they could just walk in the park.

Thanks to the development of modern science and technology, people could see animals on TV and in the Internet, so there is nothing new in a real zoo.

For family with children it could be interesting to have such activities, but it didn't seem an ideal choice for couples of... lovers...

But his dear shou, more accustomed to the urban landscapes of the big city, than to the pastoral pictures, vigorously went along the paths, looked around with curiosity, carefully studied the explanatory signs hanging on the small fence, that was blocking the cells from the visitors, and generally felt quite good.

Lingyi was at first completely perplexed, but, after thinking a little, he came to the conclusion, that there was absolutely no need to be surprised, that his hot admirer of Sponge Bob Square pants admires the gathering of zoological freaks, because the feelings of these representatives of the real and virtual fauna are about the same - tenderness and fun.

So, perhaps, the choice of location was not the most unfortunate.

If only not that damn smell ...

Lingyi's eyebrows involuntarily gloomily gathered at the bridge of the nose.

- Hey, Zhang Lingyi, look! - Guangning suddenly pointed his finger at the nearest paddock. - I see your bro there! Ha-ha!

Lingyi just could not believe his eyes - his jaw dropped from indignation. The pointing finger of his impudent shou-shou showed straight into a small flock of alpacas. A bunch of long unwashed, dull alpaca, with yellowish hair on the sides and muzzles.

Look only at this moron! Happy as a child ...

The noble gong bowed arrogantly at the headless shou-shou and with an unbearably contemptuous face, waved the flock of alpaca with his hand:

- Bro, hello! Long time no see. I hope you all are OK - the hooves do not hurt, the sides do not itch?

The next turn of the head bestowed on his insolent shou. And the look of the handsome gong seemed more eloquent, than any words - all the limits of his patience were clearly exhausted for a hundred years ahead.

While indignant gong silently flashed his eyes, and Shou enjoyed the effect produced, the scene suddenly became colored with new overtones.

The little visitor of the zoo, tugging on the hand of an imperturbable father, jumped excitedly in front of the slowly chewing alpaca with a loud cry:

- Daddy, daddy, look, it is a grass mud horse!

(People, there is so called game of untranslatable idiomatic expressions - if anyone remembers, a grass mud horse is an Internet euphemism for the expression "F... your mother" – it sounds the same, but the hieroglyphs are different. So, we can say, that the boy is loudly scolding at the whole zoo - children are such children...)

Handsome businessmen stood in a daze (I think, especially the one, who was named as a bro for this "horse", became stunned by this exclamation) ...

The impatience flew from the face of boy's young father, like a husk, the blood rushed to his face - and he shook the young naturalist-philologist thoroughly, hissing angrily:

- What are you talking about??

The juvenile Internet troll immediately made modest, shy face and nicely babbled:

- Daddy, I say - look, here is - alpaca.

A couple of businessmen glanced at each other - and where is this world just heading? What happened to the children now? Who brings them up? Remember their Wang Dafa – he is blatantly different...

The guys sighed heavily and hurriedly left the alley with relatives of Zhang Lingyi. They walked further and further along the path - until they went to the lake in the center of the zoo, taking a nap in silence under the canopy of trees - only a couple of swans gracefully cut the mirror surface. Calm, quiet place, beautiful and peaceful.

If not these damn students ...

In his student years, Guangning was quite positive about social activities, accepting feasible and sometimes even active participation in it. But now these groups of boys and girls dangling around the zoo emitted such noise waves, that they seemed to infect nature itself with elevated decibels. They seem to have been born to spoil this beautiful day with their presence.

Wang Guangning gazed unpleasantly at the herd, neighing nearby, and the "grass mud horse" involuntarily came to his mind. He wondered, how many people, who had chosen the nature in search of peace and quiet, cursed these loud fun lovers in their hearts?

Zhang Lingyi was not exactly eager to be in the epicenter of noise, not a single minute. He leaned to his partner's ear:

- Shou-shou, isn't it time to get out of here?

At this moment, the nearest flock of students broke out with particularly loud shouts, whistles and laughter. The girl in the flowery dress, blushing and embarrassed, stepped forward and under the joking and cheering shouts of her companions went to Guangning in a twisted manner, obviously imagining herself as a model on the catwalk.

- Dear sir, I ... I would like to ... kindly let me hug you.

It seems that in life there is always a place for an act of bravery...

When Wang Guangning was young (well, or just was a no spring chicken), he willingly played the favorite game of any young company - "truth or desire". And every time he was asked, what kind of girl he was in love with. Or they demanded to dial the number of an unfamiliar girl and invite her for a date. And in any case, he turned out to be invincible, like an ancient Greek hero. Being a famous first handsome man for the whole university - he never knew failure.

Looking at the painfully blushing girl, the constant winner of the "Russian Roulette" understood, that she clearly overestimated her courage - and was ready to help her win this tour, but suddenly Zhang Lingyi had grown up in front of him and stepped in the way:

- Hell, NO you got dick!

Stunned by such a rude refusal, the girl did not know, how to save her face, retreating, flared up with an agonizing flush, but the noble gong did not intend to torture her further:

- If you need to hug someone, I am ready to take on this mission.

The words of the foolish gong made an explosion of indignation in Guangning. Why this insolent decided that anybody can hug HIM, but not Guangning? He immediately pulled off Lingyi with a resentful cry:

- Who asked for your hugs?" Nobody needs them!

And then he turned to the girl, hospitably opening his arms:

- Dear lady, do not worry, I'm happy to hug you.

Students who have stopped nearby, have burst into cheers and loud whistles.

The girl blushed even more, although it seemed to be impossible. She raised a timid face toward the shining sun - and picked up the courage:

- Then ... can I get your phone number?

She would never have dared to take this desperate step, if it were not for the pretty boy's open resistance to his angry friend. His friendly behavior led the girl into an involuntary delusion. People like this beauty man are so rare - a girl, overcoming her natural shyness, could not help but try her luck.

The enraged Lingyi pierced with an angry look his frivolous shou, with a strong shoulder pushed him aside - and tightly clasped embarrassed girl's face between his palms. Who would have thought how desperate she was - give her a finger - bite off to the whole elbow?

His eyes sparkled like a pair of knives, it seemed they could chop a loose beauty into small slices.

He allowed her to hug his beloved one once – and look, she already would like to have a phone number!

The face of our formidable handsome man hung over a desperate girl darker than a cloud, but fearing to annoy his unpredictable shou, he did not utter a single harsh word, suppressing a cheeky girl with a ferocious air.

Fortunately, Guangning did not dare to further test the patience of his mate, and coaxed with a courtly smile on his lips:

- Sorry, but I just recently returned from Taiwan and still have not got a local number.

The obvious evasion allowed, however, the girl to retreat, saving her face, and she did not fail to take advantage of it. She already showed miracles of courage by asking a phone number from an unfamiliar guy. Not daring to insist, with words of gratitude, she moved back to her company.

- Let's go home already! - Guangning graciously nodded his gloomy friend, heading towards the exit.

Lingyi dragged after him angrily, his face was sour, as if soaked in very strong vinegar:

- Shou-shou, how could you dare? Hugging ... with a completely stranger ... I'm just mad ... I am jealous!

Guangning rolled his eyes dismissively.

- You, apparently, wanted to embrace her yourself? Everything happened because of your damn behavior - could we not let this student get into an awkward position because of your bad temper?

But the saddened gong continued to helplessly sigh and moan, swallowing vinegar with full glasses, trying to pity his excessively chivalrously tuned shou...

- Okay, let's go already...

Cheering Guangning glanced at his gloomy companion, at his sad face - and barely refrained from laughing out - Lingyi looked so upset. Because of easy peasy. The mood of playful shou jumped up in one second. He mockingly clapped his gong on the shoulder, encouraging him:

- Listen, do not you think that the air in the zoo is far from the aromas of the climatic resort? Such a weird smell...

Of course, weird! The stench of wool, feathers, animal shit, rotting in the sun. And all sorts of grass mud horses are jumping here, trampling their hooves...

The smell was distinct, not strong, but making a certain discomfort.

- It is difficult to be here for so long, do you agree?

Lingyi, not understanding, what his windy friend was tending, nodded, puzzled.

Guangning grinned patronizingly.

- I'll give you, perhaps, a breath of fresh air.

He resolutely stepped towards Lingyi and gently covered his lips with his own.

At first, the gong was dumbfounded, but then the devils jumped in his eyes, his hands clenched around strong waist of his sweet shou - and Guangning was firmly pressed to the gong's chest, and the kiss began to boil sweetly on their burning lips.

The noise of a student companion in the distance intensified - now astonished and incredulous.

- My little shou, and you love me too ... - it was not a question, it was a triumphant affirmation.

With difficulty pasted lips burned with fire, breathing was interrupted and trembled.

Guangning lowered his long eyelashes on his eyes, not wanting to respond to indiscreet hints, indifferently led his shoulders and burst out of gong's weakened embrace.

Enough nonsense, it's time to end this stupid walk.

He resolutely headed away, away from the walls of the zoo.

He was right - where to get romance ... in such a weird place?

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