[Sim Seju]

Sitting at the table in the dining room, we wait for Mom to start serving courses—and give us a well deserved explanation. The trouble I'm into is mainly her fault. She shouldn't have expected me, of all, to untangle the mess surrounding Hayley, which ended up involving Kevin and family, as well.

When she finally comes, Hayley gives her a pointed glare. Mom ignores it and serves the starter, accompanied by garnishes. She later goes back to the kitchen to take her signature soup. As she brings it to the table, her gaze turns cloudy.

She's on the brink of tears. They don't move me at all, though. She has to sort out the disaster she has helped creating. She has to tell me the truth about Hayley and how involved she is with my family. She has to stop playing games.

"I guess it's time for me to come clean," she says, leaving the rest of us expecting for an answer.

I deadpan. "Come on, Mom, spill."

"Well, I decided I'd help Hayley because, as I told you, she was cut off ten years ago. She gave me and your father a different perspective on art, and I wanted to pay her back somehow," she explains.

Kevin, his sister and his aunt are shocked. Hayley keeps her head low. She must now think Mom only attempted to be helpful out of pity, or, worse, for bargain. I hope her impression is wrong. She does seem to care about me, but I think Mom has ruined everything with her constant meddling.

Mom continues, "One day, while your father was away for his usual shit, I took Hayley in for a tea. We began discussing her artistic vision—well, until she began opening up to me about her life."

"Well, opening up is kind of a stretch," says Hayley in rebuttal of my mother's explanation. "I just shared a few things, nothing much."

Mom insists. "Don't be too modest, Hayley, you know you told me a lot more you want to make the others believe. You don't think I can spill the tea for you, do you?" Her tactics remind me of Dad. She must've taken her subtle persuasion skills, akin to manipulation, from him.

She then turns to Kevin's sister. "What do you think, Shana?" What? How does Mom know her, too? It's indeed true the world is small. But how small can it be for her to have met a relative of Kevin's before I did?

Shana, startled at my mother's question, turns her gaze to her brother and aunt. Then, she sighs. "I don't know, Daehwa. You taught me a secret is only worth sharing when it doesn't do any harm to the parts involved with it."

Hayley feels the pressure of having to let everything out. The more she stays quiet, the bigger the burden she bears on her shoulders becomes. Having that happen isn't in anyone's interest, especially mine. I don't know what to do. I have no clue of how to help without looking like I have the savior complex. What if I simply can't?

Shana continues, this time addressing Hayley. "You know. You don't have to tell everything. Just a few bits. The most important ones." Her idea, though convincing, leaves Hayley uneasy. It looks like the latter is tired of half truths and hiding behind mystery to cover her past.

"People, listen." She's on the brink of tears. Mom's stoic expression turns into a gasp. Kevin glances at me twice. I close my eyes for what seem to be the longest thirty seconds ever.

"Okay. When I told Daehwa and Seju about the pregnancy first, I left out an important detail. I just said I didn't tell anyone, not even my fiancé. Well..." She cries rivers. "I'll never get to tell him. He... He..." She sobs without being able to finish the sentence. I deduce what she means, but don't say it.

Mom, being the usual weirdo with no filter whatsoever, blurts out loud. "He passed away, didn't he?" Her absolute lack of tact shocks even me, given I'm so used to it.

I want to glare at her to make her quiet, but my focus is solely on Hayley. I have to find a way to soothe her. She deserves closure. She deserves a solution to her problems. She needs a helping hand.

Mom, realizing she has done more to harm than to help once again, lowers her head and mutters an apology. "I'm sorry, Hayley, I should've thought before talking. I'm sorry, Seju. I messed up for the millionth time. I'm... sorry. I think I'll leave you alone for a while." She retreats to her room, much to our surprise.

Hayley, Kevin and Shana all look confused. How am I supposed to bring back some order at this dining room? Why am I left picking up the pieces? What can I do now?

"I have an idea." When Shana comes up with something, it's a good sign. At least, this is what I perceive now. "Now, Hayley, if you need someone to vent your thoughts to or just some advice, you can come to me or Aunt Mae."

"I'd be more than glad to help, too," adds Kevin. "What do you think, Seju?"

I offer Hayley a tissue. "You're not alone, okay? Count on us." When she finally dries her tears, I point at the lunch, which has gone cold. "Shall we eat now?"

That's when Mom returns to the dining room. She takes her seat and eats in silence, never meeting our eyes. I see her crying. Honestly, this is the last thing I expected from her since the fallout over her inappropriate words.

"Mom, you know that wasn't the way-"

She raises a hand to interrupt me. "No. Let's not make a big deal out of it anymore. I'll simply be out of your hair if you wish."

I snap at her. "I didn't mean that, Mom! Gosh, why do you have to be so dramatic?" I can feel my veins pulse as I stand up to face my mother. Still, Kevin urges me to sit down.

He shakes his head as he says, "Your mother seems in a bad place. She feels guilty for what she said and did. I know I'm no-one to tell you how you should deal with her, but, please, don't be too harsh on her." He has a point. Should I still hold a grudge on her even though I know it's unhealthy? I can't just forgive and forget...

No. Kevin is right. If I want to make it up with Mom, I can't keep acting as if she were the sole reason of my struggles. I must give her another chance.

"Mom... I'm sorry. I've been too hard on you. You-"

"Stop it. I know you didn't mean to be harsh on me. I've made too many poor decisions lately; therefore, I deserve some ass whooping. How about we discuss it another time? Just the two of us. After all, I'm supposed to entertain our guests properly." For the first time today, she smiles. The others follow suit, including Hayley.

The latter, in particular, says, "You're lucky, Seju. Even though your mother kind of gives you a hard time, she loves you. This is what matters." She's taught me a lesson, that's for sure. Too many times I've assumed my family would be a nuisance. Oh, boy, I've been wrong for twenty-four years.

Hopefully, Hayley will also find closure and reach out to whom she's kept away from for ten years, or find someone else to call 'family.'