We drove down the road for a little while, not wanting to seem suspicious to my grandmother who didn't know the whole truth. Ratchet's holoform still hadn't left, sitting in the driver's seat and holding the wheel with one hand. The other was still placed over mine, his thumb softly rubbing up and down mine. I sat a little distance away, my eyes fixated on my lap as my face and ears burned with a blush. Once we had begun to head out, I had abruptly calmed down and turned into a flustered mess. 

I couldn't even look at him..

Ratchet stared straight ahead at the road as his real form took us down the dirt path, farther and farther away from the farm I had lived in for so many weeks. I had grown to like it there, but my heart was yearning to go home, to my real home. I wanted to see the base, the team, the kids. I wanted to see my family. 

I was finally able to look up, peeking at my guardian as he drove down the road. Then my heart stopped and I jumped a little, causing him to peer over at me a little in curiosity.

"We're.. we're together now?!" I blurted loudly. It came out more like a panicked question.

He raised an eyebrow before turning his attention back to the road. "If that... if that is what you want," he said after a moment of silence.

I quickly realized my mistake, my other hand taking his and squeezing it. "N-No, that's not what I meant!" I said, flustered. "I-I mean... I want to be with you, yes," I finished after a sigh, feeling foolish over my own stuttering. My neck felt even hotter as I stared at my lap harder. 

He was silent for a moment, then a light chuckle lifted into the air. "Good," was all he said.

My heart was thumping so loudly I was almost sure that he could hear it as well. Well, it wouldn't really matter if he couldn't anyway, he most certainly could feel my spark going crazy. I could feel his as well; I was surprised that he was so calm, his spark only betraying a little bit of embarrassment. It was honestly a bit calming, though I was still a blushing mess. Sighing, a squeezed his hand a little harder. 

"I'm not super flustered because we're together now... though, that's part of it," I added quietly, covering my face with my hand. "It's just... the others. What are they.. what will they think? What will Optimus think?"

I felt Ratchet stiffen as I asked these questions in a tiny voice. He stopped on the side of the dirt road, out in the middle of nowhere, and I felt his holoform shift. As I also felt his spark send hints of worry, I looked up slowly to see him, his eyes watching me carefully. I knew I was still bright red, which was quite embarrassing in and of itself, but I didn't look away as I waited for him to answer. His topaz eyes looked a little uncertain as he thought for a moment, before his hand reached out and stroked the top of my head. 

"We'll deal with that when it comes," he told me softly. "I'm not suggesting we keep it from them... only that we will answer if they ask. There is no need to... stress them over a thing such as this." He glanced away for a moment, the worry growing stronger in his spark. 

Getting a little worried myself, I scooted closer to his side, until we were just inches apart. He didn't look up at me, and as I felt his emotions barrel into me at full speed, I knew he was under a lot of stress. My embarrassment seemed to simmer away quickly as I reached up with my hand and gently brushed some of his hair, hoping the calming gesture helped. The medic sighed softly, his hand squeezing mine a little harder. "Is everything okay back at base?" I asked quietly, continuing to play with his hair as I waited for him to speak. 

It was a few moments before he finally replied, another sigh leaving him beforehand. "Is it ever?" he mumbled. "Nothing too serious, unless you count our situation." I said nothing as I waited for him to continue, stroking his head and watching him carefully. "The Predacon we faced before severely changes many things, including our chances. Shockwave seems intent on collecting more Predacon bones to clone them, which would only cause more problems for us." He sighed again, lifting his hand and brushing his own hair, finding my hand up there and taking it slowly, though he still didn't look to me. "The fact that their activity has diminished lately doesn't bode well for us; it could mean that they already have what they need."

I took a deep breath through my nose and let it out slowly, letting it all sink in. The news of course had me worried, and scared for what the future would be, but I knew that he wasn't telling me everything. The beating of his spark told me otherwise. I squeezed his hand and brought it to my chest, looking at him intently until he finally lifted his eyes. "Tell me everything, Ratchet. You have a lot more troubling you." I rubbed my thumb across his palm for a moment, waiting. 

His topaz eyes studied me heavily, flooded with several emotions, before he finally let go and leaned forward, pressing his holoform's forehead onto my shoulder. "I feel like this war is never going to end. And.. what have I been able to do? While Optimus and the others are out there fighting the war, I'm at base accomplishing almost nothing. Almost everything I've tried in hopes of helping our cause backfired or wasn't usable; we've had to rely on our battle strength and our.. relics to keep going, not what I've accomplished." He paused, as though his voice had given out on him. "I honestly feel so.. helpless. I want to do something to end this, so that I can finally have.. peace. Peace with myself." He stopped speaking, sighing yet again and letting go of my hand, though he kept his head rested on my shoulder. 

He felt.. helpless. Useless.

Everything I had heard finally seemed to hit me like a brick wall, slamming into me and breaking my shield of emotions almost effortlessly. My throat felt clogged as I choked back tears, biting my lip. My chest ached and my body wished to cry heavily, let it all go and have him comfort me.

No. I couldn't do that. He was the one who needed comfort, and honestly much more than me. I was a human girl with family and love issues; he was a war-torn soldier that was haunted by his own self-claimed inability. I only sniffed once, revealing how terrible I really felt, before I shoved it all down. And honestly, I instantly felt better knowing that now it was my turn to be his rock. I rested my head on his and found his hand again, this time only resting mine on top of it and gently rubbing it with my fingers. 

"Ratchet," I said softly. "Ratchet, look at me," I said, knowing full well that I was turning a little red now and my eyes were still a little wet. It took a moment before he finally shifted, lifting his head and looking at me with sorrowful eyes. There were no tears, but there didn't have to be to be able to see the depths of his deep, horrible trauma and emotions he held onto. I bit my lip again before continuing, slowly lifting my hand and stroking his cheek, feeling the strong jaw. "You have done so much for this entire war. I didn't have to be there to know that. What I've seen so far, and what I've heard of the past, is every assurance to me that you are one of the best things the Autobots could ask for.

"You've saved so many lives, including those of our friends and their friends. You saved Bumblebee from certain death so long ago, and saved Bulkhead not so long ago. You've been there for everyone who needs you, and they all see you as not just a valuable asset, but as family." I paused, not able to stop a single tear from falling as I smiled warmly and pressed my forehead against his. "I see you as family, and so much more. Not only have you done so much for this war, but so much for me." Ignoring my shy and flustered instincts, I reached up and kissed the top of his forehead, where he had kissed me before leaving me to my grandmother. "Don't ever tell yourself you aren't enough. Because if you do," I told him, leaning back and smiling, "I'm going to be here to scold you."

Warmth spread through my body, but whether it was my own feeling or his I didn't know. I did know that I somehow felt so much better even after all he had just said, realizing that I believed myself. Not only had what I said hit him, but somehow it had become true to me as well. I was enough, and I was doing something. I was loved, I was cared for, and so was he. I sighed contentedly, slightly surprised that I wasn't falling into my blushing antics as I intertwined my fingers with his. 

Maybe I had gotten stronger.

Ratchet's expression looked mostly dumbfounded. His eyes were wider and his lips were parted slightly as if he had just seen something surprising. He blinked a few times, letting everything I had said settle in deeply, before I saw his face fall; not in the sad or in any way upset kind of way. It looked like a wave of relief had just washed over him suddenly, and as he soaked in it, he looked so much better. One of the best genuine, beautiful smiles I had ever seen on him softly arrived to his lips, gentle and breathtaking. I couldn't do anything but return it, leaning forward and hugging him tightly. He only tensed up for a moment before squeezing me back, his arms around my waist as he rested his head on top of mine and held me tightly. Our emotions fled from our sparks and seemed to blanket us in loving warmth, something that soothed us both. 

We held each other that way for a long time, and I almost felt like we would stay that way forever. It honestly felt so amazing I wished for it, for us to stay this way no matter what. 

When he finally loosened and pulled back, his hands still holding me gently, I looked up at his face as he smiled gently down at me. "Thank you, Taylor," he said quietly, nodding his head once. "I.. really needed that."

I returned the nod with my own, rubbing his back softly. "I think I did, too," I replied, feeling my cheeks turn slightly red, but not from embarrassment. "And I'm always here if you need anything else from me, okay?"

His smile grew a little and he nodded again, leaning forward and pressing his lips to the top of my head like I had, lingering there for a few moments while I smiled and let it set in. After only a few seconds, his holoform flickered away, leaving the warmth of his kiss only on my head. His real body slowly roared back to life, the lights turning on and the engine revving for a moment.

"This is Ratchet, sending request for a GroundBridge," he suddenly called, the signal on his wheel lighting up as he spoke. His review mirror turned to me, and I knew his gaze was now on me. "I think we're far enough to be safe from prying eyes," he told me. 

I got comfortable in my seat, taking the seat belt and pulling it over me, just for safety, and nodded a little. My heartbeat picked up just the smallest bit, and I realized I was actually a bit nervous to see them. I shoved the negative thoughts as the portal of swirling colors appeared before us with a loud noise. They were my friends, my family. And unlike my grandmother, they accepted me for who I was and who I loved. I felt safe with them. 

With that, my nerves were instantly driven away, excitement drilling into my chest as Ratchet drove into the Groundbridge.

~

HEY, LOOK GUYS, THIS SERIES STILL EXISTS-

I'm SO glad I finally got to update this, I feel really accomplished! I've finished most of the college work I had for this week, so that means that tomorrow hopefully will be less busy!

Also, you probably noticed how emotional Ratchet got in this chapter. I hope you didn't mind this little headcanon of mine, though I honestly think this is how he really feels a lot. Won't go into the rant (unless you want me to), but always feel free to ask me about it!

So here's the next chappy! Thanks for being so patient with me!

*waves*