Guilt.

The cognitive or emotional experience that occurs when a person believes or realizes that they compromised their own standards of conduct and bears significant for that violation.

That was exactly what Blaise felt as he looked at himself in the bathroom mirror, an empty bottle of Firewhiskey in his hand. Guilt. Guilt for what he did to his best friend. Guilt for his parents' actions. Guilt for helping them. He let a tear escape as he raised the bottle above his hand.

He deserved this.

He slammed the bottle down.

Glass shattered everywhere. Blaise howled in pain, watching the blood escape from the glass shards and onto the floor. He picked up one of the larger ones and took a deep breath.

He deserved this.

One. Two. Three. Four. Five. Six. Blaise counted the slits on his arm as he made them, each one providing both a sense of immense pain and relief. It hurt so bad. But it hurt so good. Because he deserved this.

"What the hell is going on in there?" 

Blaise dropped the shard of glass when he heard the sound of his dorm mate's voice. Shaking, he desperately tried to hide the damage, but before he could do anything, Draco Malfoy opened the door. Blaise looked at him, horrorstruck.

"Draco, it's not what you think-"

"PANSY!"

***

Harry slipped off his invisibility cloak when he entered the broom closet. He was early today, so he knew he had some time before Malfoy would arrive. He folded up his cloak and walked over to the corner to set it down before he heard the door open. What the hell? It was 7:30. He wouldn't come early, would he?

"Potter!" Malfoy yelled. The boy ran towards him, flung his arms around him, and put his head in his shoulder, sniffling. From the sound of it, he had been crying. Harry pulled him closer.

"Are you okay?"

"Does it look like I'm okay?"

"What happened?"

"It's a lot."

"I have time."

The Slytherin boy nodded and sat down on the ground, Harry beside him. 

And he told him.

He told him about Blaise. He told him about how he had been distant. He told him how he had been a complete ass. He told him about how he lost control and beat the shit out of his own best friend. He told him about how he had been self-harming in the bathroom. He told him about everything. And it wasn't until the end of the rant that he noticed his hand was placed on top of Harry's. 

But he didn't move it.

And neither did Harry.

"I don't know what to do." Draco said, crying still.

"Shh," said Harry, grabbing his hand. "It's going to be okay. Madame Pomfrey is great at what she does. He'll be okay."

"Do you promise?"

Draco was clearly hurting. He ran into the room and hugged Harry. He dug his head into his shoulder. He opened up to him. He was holding his hand right now. 

He needed someone to talk to. Comfort. Reassurance. And instead of coming to one of his Slytherin friends, he came to him. 

Harry.

And Harry, for some reason, felt guilty. He felt bad. He knew that Draco was friends with him because of his father's orders, and Harry was only friends with him because he knew this, but this concern he was feeling was genuine. He wanted to give him that comfort. He needed to. 

And so he would.

"I promise."

Draco, still holding Harry's hand, leaned over and put his head on Harry's chest.

"Thank you, Harry."

And he fell asleep right there.

***

Pansy sat beside Blaise's bed in the hospital wing. 

"I'm so sorry I wasn't there for you sooner," she whispered. "I wish you would've told me what you were going through. I would have been there to help you, and none of this would have happened." She shook her head. "Dammit, Blaise! Why didn't you tell me!" For the third time that day, Pansy started crying. She placed the second vase of flowers on the bedside table. "I'll be back tomorrow," she said. "You're going to be okay. Everything is going to be okay."

When Pansy left the hospital wing, Blaise opened his eyes to look at the vase of flowers his friend had set on the table, and let another tear escape.

I'm sorry, Pansy. But it won't be okay.

***

It's been forever since I've updated omg I'm so sorry I've been busy with band and it's just asalfnvsdalkjf

Anyway the POV was really weird in this chapter and I apologize but I felt like it was better to do it this way with the storyline and also I don't hate it ??? Idk but like yeah I'll try to update again ASAP but that may be a while because it's football season and I'm busy and yeah I'll do my best but bE PATIENT