It was somewhere early in the morning and Liam probably had just an hour of sleep when he began tossing in his bed, crumpling his sheets with the movement. The room was dark and it was supposed to be autumn, the best time of the year but he was drenched in sweat as he tried to go back to sleep. 

He could not sleep and instead, sat up. Tired and drained to the bone from the previous night and a hangover coming in slowly, he groaned and settled at the edge of the bed, feet dangling from the high bed. 

Groggy eyed, he rubbed a hand over his tired face. He sat, legs dangling over the edge and eyes shut for a moment until everything from the previous night came rushing to him. 

Goddamn it, what had he done?

Everything was messed up, his life was never going to be the same. He blew a frustrated sigh and tugged on his hair in frustration. The memories of last night brought him back to life. 

Oh dear, what will he tell Emily if she remembered the events of the previous night? 

He was so fucked up, but then for a split second, he brought his fingers to his lips and he could still feel her kissing him but that last for but a moment, before he smacked himself, bringing himself to the present. 

Liam knew what would fix him up. A cold shower was what he needed to clear his brain and so, he stumbled his way in the early morning towards the bathroom. He dropped clothing all across the bathroom floor as he stepped into the shower and set to the coldest level it could go. 

Liam winced as the water hit his back, it was colder than he had anticipated but he needed it. He squeezed his eyes shut in agony, it was better when he hadn't kissed her. At least he didn't know how kissing her would be like; now, he could not stop thinking about her. 

Emily. 

Why did she just have to be so perfect effortlessly? It just wasn't fair how she could make him weak in the knees with a smile and not even know that she was doing things to him. 

He watched the glass of the bathroom get fogged up and he wished that he could hide in that fog and not face her. He did not know what he'd do if she remembered. He began thinking what he would do if she really did remember. 

He was floating in daydreams soon, he'd pack his bags and leave. Yes, that would be the best thing he could do. 

She'd know that he was in love with her and then, it would be worse than feeling like he was in love with someone he'd not have a chance with. She'd never look at him the same way again, there would always be a sad tone to his name. He didn't want that. 

He did not want to be pitied. 

The sudden banging on a door made him jump out of his skin and he roared, "Jesus!" 

But there was no response after a while and he realised that whoever it was had probably left realizing that it was occupied. He hurried outside with a white towel around his waist and water still glistening on his pale skin. 

On finding no one in his room, Liam put on some clothes and opened the door but before he could take a step out, he looked at the floor in horror. The white tile floor of the hall was covered in something clear and gross. He heard someone else throwing up from his brother's bedroom opposite to his and he squeezed his eyes shut and willed himself to calm down. 

But he couldn't do it. 

"CHRIS!"

~*~

"That is why buddy, you don't drink so much," Liam scolded as he rubbed his hand up and down Chris' back as he threw up. Liam turned away and gagged. 

Chris lifted his head from the bowl of the toilet, red-eyed and looking worse than shit, he told, "Yeah, no shit Sherlock."

He bended forward and threw up promptly again and Liam had to say that even he felt sorry for his cocky brother. Chris' shirt was tossed on the floor and he was sweating head to toe. Liam told him, "You continue, I'll go bring some clothes."

And with that, Liam got out of the bathroom. 

He stood with his back facing the door of the bathroom and he looked around, not really thinking. He pulled a gagging expression that he so clearly wanted to do. Hands on his waist, he then rubbed his face with his left hand. 

Liam looked at the mess that was Chris' room. Clothes strewn everywhere, literally  - there was a sock on the ceiling fan. The floor covered in toffee wrappers and other wrappers that Liam refused to think about. The books on his study table were covered with a layer of dust but this was not the time for cleaning. 

He mumbled, "Clothes."

Liam began searching for clothes and he tried to avoid stepping on anything at all. He reached his closet and pulled it open but then sighed deeply. There were no clothes in there. He went to Chris' bed and looked under without a moment of hesitation. 

Everything was under the bed. Of course, this was Chris Wyatt. 

He reached out and pulled a shirt and brought it to his nose and gagged again. 

"Chris Wyatt, you need to learn to take care of your goddamn room!" Liam yelled. 

Grumbling under his breath, Liam started cleaning his twin's shit up. He felt like a mum to Chris. He'd clean, he'd cook, he'd wash, he'd work. Chris was older, sure, but he always acted like a kid. He even had to rescue Chris' sorry drunk ass twice every week. 

Liam really hated his life. 

He knew that he could just leave the room the way it was and whenever either of his parents saw the room Chris would be in trouble, but he didn't know why he could not see his brother in trouble. Maybe it was because Liam had always seen Chris so happy, maybe, that was why he could not imagine what it would be like to see him sad. 

Chris came outside the bathroom, right after Liam had plucked up the last t-shirt for the floor. He glared at Chris as he put it into the basket at the corner of the room. 

"Woah, Liam," Chris said at the sight of his room, "I was going to clean up the room."

"Yeah, in the next century," Liam shot back as he sat on the newly-made bed. 

Chris groaned again as he clutched his head in his hands, "How is it that I drink so much and throw up and have such terrible headaches even when I do the same thing every day while you drink occasionally and not have any hangovers?" 

"It's just my amazing ability to not get hangovers, Chris," Liam responded as he tossed a box to his brother. 

Chris caught it with ease and read the writing on the packet with squinted eyes, "Hangover secret cure?"

"Oi, ask no questions, hear no lies," Liam replied with a Cheshire grin. 

 Chris narrowed his eyes suspiciously, his lips turning into a smirk and he shrugged, "Guess I'll just have to trust you, brother of mine."

Liam rolled his eyes, "But of course, I would try to poison you."

"Sarcasm is dripping down that nasty mouth of your, twin," Chris grinned. 

"Gross as ever, Chris," Liam told as he walked out the room. 

Liam marched with the basket of Chris' clothes in his arm and a sigh from his lips. Something never did change. He was almost all the way out his door when Chris called him out. 

He could not see Chris with that pile of clothes at his face, but he clearly heard him, "Thanks brother, I owe you one."

"You owe me more than one," Liam responded, "But it's fine. It's what brothers are for."

Chis quietly closed the door behind Liam and he walked towards the laundry room until he remembered that today was the day they would have to go to check on their mother. Liam made a mental note to not forget about it this time, not that he was doing much today, anyway. 

He pressed a closed fist to his forehead as he sat down right there on the floor and watched the machine go round and round when a squeal brought him back to life. He saw Chris by the door as he stared at the phone in amusement and Liam had to ask him, "Did you just squeal?"

"I-" Chris looked at his brother with wide eyes and then cleared his throat, "Obviously not."

"I thought I heard you squeal-"

"Why don't you go for that walk you were talking about earlier?" Chris suddenly switched the topic throwing Liam completely off-course for a moment as he wondered what the heck was going on, but then he asked back, "What walk?"

"You know that walk you needed to go on!" Chris made something up as he chuckled nervously and Liam instantly knew that something was up.

"Chris, what's going on?" 

"You should that that walk, you know? Might help with clearing the head after that kiss with Emily yesterday-"

Liam's eyes snapped at Chris and his senses were suddenly wide on alert. He looked at Chris to find him immediately shut up too, he just seemed to have realised what he spilled out. His eyes were wide and he stared at Liam as though he was waiting for something to explode or break down. Whichever came first. 

He told in one breathe, not beating around the bush, "How many of them know?"

Chris looked down, momentarily finding his shoes much more interesting that Liam and he was quick loosing patience. It was like quicksand in his hand. 

He stood up poised in a way he never looked before and walked towards his twin as he asked, voice sharp enough to cut glass, "I asked, how many knew of what happened."

Chris looked up at his brother but finding nothing but sheer determination in those blue eyes of his to know the answer, he replied, "Everyone in that game plus, I assume naturally a handful more."

"Goddamn it, Li," he told himself as he took a step back to take in a shaky breathe, "What have you fucking done?"

"Woah, Liam, never heard you curse before," Chris said, trying to lighten the mood but Liam just shot a glare at him, "Didn't even think you could curse."

Liam rubbed a tired hand against his face, "Know what? I just might take that walk you kept talking about."

He dashed off into his own room to get a jumper and his headphones and Chris let out a sigh of relief as soon as Liam was out of sight. That was way too close. Nothing could ruin the plan Chris and Emily had been working on for days. 

Liam, on the other hand, was a perpetual wreck. He hurried about as he stuffed the headphones into his ears and ran out of the house. It was early in the morning, probably sometime around six, and he set out. 

Some of Harry Styles' greatest hits blasted into his eardrums with the huge headset he wore as he jogged, trying to stop thinking about Emily's lips on his. 

People in sharp suits were zooming around as they hurried into their cars and some of the less busier ones were walking their dogs. A father ran along side his son as part of some training process. There were a couple of faces he recognised as they bicycled, preparing themselves for the upcoming bicycle cross-state tournament.

He did not stop though. Every time he closed his eyes, he saw her smile. He just could not stop thinking about Emily. He would girt his teeth, clench his eyes shut and try to distract himself from thinking about her. 

Inevitably, his body, not being used to such strenuous exercise, had to sit down on a park bench nearby as he leant forward, elbows on knees and took deep breaths in and out. 

Had Emily got home last night? 

Liam didn't know but suddenly, panic gripped his sides. What if she hadn't? While he was busy freaking out, flipping his existence over a kiss that did not matter to her at all, she could've had an accident, or something worse.

Panic gripped him really bad and soon, his vision was beginning to blur and he was feeling very sick. He could hear someone at his side telling him something but he could not concentrate well enough to hear anything but the ringing in his ears. 

A cold hand was on his forehead and for a moment, he was able to snap out of the trance and looked around in panic, hair whipping in the wind as he tried to understand where he was and what he was doing, but mostly, where the heck was Emily. 

"Liam, Liam!" he could hear someone call him but he just kept muttering, "no, no, no".

A hand grabbed his face and he was staring into hazel eyes that seemed so familiar but nothing like Emily's. She said, "Liam, calm down. Match my breathing..."

Liam tried to copy her. His first breaths coming as sharp and short breaths unlike her long deep and steady ones. His hands were shaking by his side as he told in panic, "I can't. I can't."

"Yes, you can," she said, "Now, nice and slow. Deep breath in. Deep breath out, Liam. I know you can do this."

It took a while. To Liam, it felt like an eternity before he could breathe normally but it was just eight minutes in reality. His breaths were soon deep and calm and he wasn't shaking anymore and lastly, his vision managed to come back. 

He was, finally, back to normal. 

"Thank you," he said when he was able to again. 

The girl broke into a wide grin and that's when he recognised her properly. It was Tressa from the previous night's party, "Anytime, Liam."

"What- what happened?" he asked as he leaned back to relax a bit and Tressa joined him on the bench, "You had a panic attack."

He pursed his lips unable to respond to that. Blue eyes faraway, he took ahead and took in deep quite breaths, "Will I live?"

"Ha ha," she told, rolling her eyes, tone full of sarcasm, "The Wyatts and their dramatic-ness."

Her hair was pulled into a ponytail and she was in a beige sweatpants and white tee. Tressa was sweating profusely but she seemed in a much better shape compared to him. 

"You'll live," she told when Liam did not respond to the previous question or even crack a smile, "I prescribe chocolate on a daily basis."

She grinned at that, and he did so too. 

"So, what are you doing here so early?" he asked her, "Are you stalking me? Because I don't think it's coincidence that you stop here the same time as I did."

She rolled her eyes the second time in the span of three minutes, "Yeah, yeah, I'm totally stalking you."

But then, she drank water from the bottle she had brought along with her. The same one from the previous night, passing it to Liam she responded, "I come for jogging everyday. Drink up buttercup."

And he followed her instructions and drank the water. Once he was done, she stood up, and stretched out her hand to him to take. He looked at her tentatively and took her hand and Liam told her, "I'm fairly sure that you're house is that side-"

He pointed to the direction opposite the one she was headed, and she raised a single eyebrow, "You sure, you're not stalking me?"

He tried to hide his grin as he told innocently, "Yeah, I'm sure, Tess."

And with that, Tressa jogged alongside Liam, slow in pace but their heads soared as they discussed everything from singers to favourite food. Regardless, Emily was buried at the back of his mind. At least for a while. He knew that he'd have to deal with the consequences but he let his future-self deal with that mess.