It had been hours since I envisioned Kaitlyn in the dining room and it messed with my thoughts.

I didn't know whether to feel scared that my mind was capable of doing something utterly consequential or to be thankful for seeing her one last time. But what I was sure of was my head tried to tell me something.

And it might change everything I thought I understood.

Lying wide awake in bed, I recalled my father's face when we sat at the table and tried to ignore the heavy tension that lingered in the air, to no avail.

There were deep visible creases on his forehead, and he was biting his lip so hard I thought it would bleed. The action itself was familiar and it only took me a second to know that the gears were turning his head. I didn't bother to ask what happened between them.

'If only they talk to me about it like every other parent.'

'If only there is someone I can speak to about this.'

'If only I am normal.'

So many dreams that were never answered. When would I ever learn?

* * *

There was something nagging at me in the corner of my memory. I grappled for it, but the thought slipped away into the depths of my mind before I could take the time to ponder.

I sat up on the bed and gripped the thick blanket with my fingers. My forehead was throbbing with pain and my stomach was churning in discomfort. I released a breath, a bead of sweat rolling down my hot back.

I didn't know how long I tried to shut my mind off and sleep. But it didn't matter, not when I was used to it. Sleepless nights were part of my everyday routine.

Peeling the sheets off my sweating body, I clicked the bedside lamp open and got out of bed without hesitation. I stripped off my top and put on a black shirt, replacing my flimsy pajama bottoms with shorts to expose my legs to the cool air. I slipped on my sandals.

I was glad my father brought me new clothes, but it was the least he could do. I would've gone insane if I needed to wear Kaitlyn's. No one would be able to take it.

My chest hollowed out at the thought and tears sprung to my eyes but I blinked them back. The doorknob felt cool in my grasp as I twisted it open and left the room.

It was late at night and I was the only one awake in the house. My shoes padded on the cool wooden floor as I walked along the dim corridor and passed the kitchen. I knew what I needed to do until something made me freeze in my tracks.

A muffled sob coming from my parent's room.

The hair on my skin stood on end, uneasiness settling on my empty stomach. For a second, I didn't know what to do.

I recovered from the shock and carefully stepped towards the wooden door. My heart was beating out of my chest as I brought a hand up to knock—

"Shhh, it's okay love." My father's subdued voice echoed through, his words oddly soft and gentle. I detected a faint crack to it like he was struggling not to break down.

I halted, my arm hanging limp at my sides.

The sound that followed was weak and hushed. It was barely there, and I knew I wouldn't have heard it if it wasn't for the dead silent corridor.

My throat bobbed as I instinctively took a small step backward. I pushed the thoughts out of my head and let my feet take me past the kitchen and before the door that led to outside.

An indescribable feeling bloomed in my chest as I slowly pulled it open and stepped into the night. I felt like a bird that had been freed from its cage.

Tears stung my eyes as the soft wind blew through the short strands of my hair, brushing at my cheeks. Every little step I took that led me farther from the walls holding me in made me want to laugh.

It was ironic how I grew up in that house and hated the sight of it more as I aged.

I turned, facing my home of nightmares. Then I wondered what Kaitlyn would say if she saw me sneaking out at past midnight for the second time.

Then it hit me.

My sister was the reason I never left and why I held on. She was the only one who reached out a hand when I was drowning in the darkness I surrounded myself. No one stuck up for me but her. My twin.

Until she got into the car accident, and I took her place in this world because I didn't belong. I was envious and selfish.

My heart ached and guilt burned up in my chest. My nails dug into my palms painfully, almost drawing blood as tears rolled down my face. I sobbed, everything crashing down on me. I fell and my bare knees hit the ground yet the only pain I felt was from my chest.

Maybe everything will be better if I never existed in this world.

I held my head in my hands and shut my eyes tightly, blocking out all the sound but the ones in my mind. I let the darkness ran wild, letting myself succumb to the whispers haunting my every thought and action. I was never going to get better—

"It's beautiful, isn't it?" A familiar voice rang in my head.

A spark flickered in the darkness.

His lips curved into a broad smile, his eyes crinkling at the corners. With the light hitting his face, the dimple I didn't realize he had was visible on his right cheek.

A gust of wind blew into our direction and tossed the thin strands of my hair into my face, but I let it be.

I held up a hand to the sparking glow that drew me in, the one thing I had never seen for so long. My lips tugged up into a smile that mirrored the light, brighter even.

A gasp escaped my lips as my eyelids flew open—

And there was Rowan who was huddled in front of me, a small space between the both of us. I found myself staring back at his gaze. His eyes were the warmest brown imbued with green, the vivid hues of a forest.

"You're here." Tears brimmed at the corner of my eyes.

"As promised," he said back.

My chest heaved as Rowan leaned closer, his thumb making contact with my face as he brushed the tear off my cheek. My breath hitched, then he straightened himself.

His gaze dropped to my wounded knees, a dark shadow passing his features. Heat crawled up my neck as I forced myself to stand, only to fall back down at the burning pain.

A sob escaped my lips before I could help it, more tears streaming down my face as I struggled to breathe. Rowan's fingers latched around my arm, making me turn to him. His touch gave me the slightest bit of solace.

His eyes softened. "Come on, let's get you out of here."

A/N: I just want to thank each and every one of you for reaching this far, I am extremely grateful for all your support and I hope you're enjoying where the story is going! I am NOTHING without my lovely readers <3

Moreover, I deeply apologize for the slow updates and I hope it won't hinder you from reading my work further. Our online class is about to end in a week or two, so hopefully, I will finally be able to give 3:00 an update schedule! I'm sure you guys would love that! Stay safe and healthy, I know things will get better soon <3

P.S. To the people who nominated this book on The Reader's Choice Awards, I really appreciate it. And again, I am forever thankful for your support! Fingers crossed, we'll be able to reach the voting round <3 I just know that things will get really interesting then!