I had to keep going for today because I took one look at the bucket list and died

5/6/17

#SeizeSaturday -- top five things on my bucket list

Well, some are more realistic, some less. But here you go.

1. I want to go to college. I have, for as long as I can remember. And as long as I score well on those standardized tests (ACT in June!) this one's actually close to being a possibility.

that's fine *pats dewy-eyed young Ver on the head*

*side eyes the months of not putting in the effort to apply for scholarships*

*further side eyes the "gap year" planned for 2018*

*side eyes the whole college system in general*

k so here's the thing I don't have a problem with going to college but I thought I was going to college for English which sounds snazzy and would have been completely useless to my aspirations as many have found with their own degrees

I also had misgivings for a really long time about the financial aspect and I knew deep down inside college wasn't worth, to me, spending the required money on — and obviously not worth going into debt for. I can frankly say that apart from a full-ride scholarship I would NEVER have been able to make it work like I hoped

in summary, if I go to college in the future it'd probably be for an associate's in music (specifically piano performance) and my "wanting" to go to college was based around the desire to look cool and check off the little life achievement box

(part of wanting to go to college later on was to absorb all the knowledges and learn all the things but even though it's less snazzy to do that outside college it still counts)

2. "What do you want to be when you grow up?" someone asked me when I was nine. I thought about it hurriedly, and told her, "I want to be an author, a wife, and a mother."

My plans have never changed.

I actually want to be a music student, an author, maybe a wife and mother, a history professor, a piano teacher, a customer service worker, an editor, and a writing coach, not necessarily in that order

3. Learn Hebrew.

It is just so cool! I mean, any language is, but Hebrew is that far removed from ours that it has absolutely amazing nuances and special meanings and beautiful words that English doesn't have. The sort of things I incorporate in my own languages, which may be why it appeals to me so greatly.

okay sure

don't get me wrong I still think Hebrew is cool I'm just not sure why it was ever #3 on my bucket list

4. Go to a foreign country so I can learn to speak a language surrounded by people speaking that same language. I wish trips to Germany and France fit into everyone's budget...

that would admittedly be cool, yes, very true

5. Read every single great book in the world. Now, I didn't say good book, I said great book. The ones that make you close them at the end and say, "I wish there were more, but that was a perfect ending..." and daydream about their beauty for the rest of the day.

speaking as someone who's been reading a lot in her preferred genre over the past three years, these expectations are way too high. Or should I say, way too low? Because mind you, I'm not saying that great books grow on every tree, but according to the criteria given here, there's a darn sight more literature that fits it than I think past me imagined...

not to mention a lot more literature in the WORLD than I think past me imagined?

and not to FURTHER mention, given the fact that no book is universally deemed great, and different books will be great for different people... yeah, we're just walking into a minefield here.

well, now that I have completely razed my former self's ambitions, let us examine those of current self

4/28/21

in no particular order:

1. Study piano again

2. Finish as many Legea books as possible

3. Meet more online writer buddies in person

4. Start an anonymous blog

5. Kick all my bad habits and get better ones

*yeets*