Ricky

Somehow Chris got away from us last night without telling us his big secret. Damn it! I wanted to know what the Hell is going on. I kind of had a feeling anyways, but I wanted to hear him say it. As for right now, I'm just focusing on not accidentally showing myself to anyone else. Devin had practice because the guys are leaving for tour next week.

Of course I'm stuck to him like glue. Wherever he goes, I'm forced to be close behind. I'm not complaining about that. It makes me happy to see the guys, even if they can't see me. What I am worried about is seeing who my replacement is going to be. I think Devin was just as worried. What happens if he doesn't get along with the band? They're already miserable enough. And fuck I hope he can play decent.

I don't know how the fans or the band are going to deal with someone new. My hopes would be they embrace him so they don't have any troubles. I have a feeling it won't go that way though. On the bright side, I'm finally getting out of the house. Devin hasn't really wanted to leave. He kind of has to now. The second we stepped outside his apartment building, I had to disappear. I reassured him I'm still there though, and I am.

He walked through the entrance to the studio with his bass case in his hands. I followed him back to the room the guys were practicing in. When we walked in, I recognized everyone but one person. He must be my replacement. He was definitely taller than me, and thiner. In fact, he was skin and bones. He had a lengthy face and long black hair. I'll admit, he was attractive.

"Finally!" Balz griped. "We've been waiting on you."

"Sorry." Devin muttered. He cautiously scanned the room as he set down his bass. His eyes lingered on the new face in the room. Devin looked back to Balz, clearing his throat in efforts to get someone to speak up.

"What?" Balz asked, confused what kind of message Devin was trying to send him. He glanced over at the guy, then back at Balz. "Oh! Fuck, sorry. Um, this is our new rhythm guitarist that the record company sent, Larsen. And this is our bassist, Devin."

"Ghost." He sneered. "Only my friends call me Devin."

Everyone got displaced looks from his cold demeanor. What did they expect? It doesn't matter who they replaced me with. Devin wasn't going to be happy no matter what. He just wanted me back. I can't blame him... I would give anything to turn back from the spirit world. I want to play my guitar again, to hear the fans screaming my name and see Devin smiling at me during shows. We were forced to leave it behind. Of course he's going to be upset with a new member.

Larsen faked a smile, understanding why he wasn't all too welcomed. "Ghost, then. It's a... pleasure to meet you." He said, revealing an accent I couldn't quite place.

"Maybe we should just get around to practicing." Chris suggested. It was obviously in efforts to avoid any fighting or continuing this awkwardness.

They began to set up what they needed to, but almost everything was already in place. Devin fell into robot mode and just began working through the motions. His mind was somewhere else though. I could see it, and I wanted so badly to talk to him about it. If only I could. It'll have to wait until later.

I took advantage of my invisibility and got a closer look at Larsen. He had dark eyes but there was something warm about them. His skin was almost as pale as mine used to be, when I was alive. His facial structure wasn't too far off from mine either. Larsen picked up his guitar, which was gorgeous. I could tell in the way he treated her, that he was a genuine guitarist. He respected his instrument, and obviously himself because he was well groomed.

As I scanned the room, I couldn't help but notice that Devin was staring at Larsen. It was such a blank stare. I had no idea what he was thinking. Did he truly hate this guy or was he just being cold because he was having adjustment issues? Larsen was an attractive man. He seemed to be the type Devin would date. Maybe that's why he's staring. I'll admit it makes me jealous though. It's terrible for me to be jealous because it's not like Devin could ever love me. I'm dead.

Chris told the others to start out with Reincarnate. We all could play that song in our sleep, but it has been so long since we've preformed. Larsen rolled up his sleeves before they began. That's when I felt my feelings blow up like a volcano. He had an equal sign tattooed on his inner arm. Why would he have a gay rights tattoo is he wasn't... ya know?

Devin noticed too. It was hard to miss. His eyes were glued to the tattoo. Eventually he looked up to Larsen's face and questioned it, "What's the story behind the tattoo?"

Larsen glanced down at his exposed skin. Then he looked back to Devin. "Where I'm from, gay marriage isn't legal. I not only couldn't marry, but I was treated worse than a criminal because of my sexuality. When I came to America, I got this tattoo to symbolize that I had finally reached someone where I was accepted."

Intrigued, Devin simply nodded and didn't say anything else. He allowed the thoughts to spin in his mind. Even if he wanted to continue their conversation, they couldn't because the others griped at them to start practicing. They began the beginning rifts and from the get-go I saw talent in Larsen's playing. Then they picked up into the song and I realized he was a damn talented guitarist. In fact, he could kick my ass on guitar easily. He was more talented than me, more handsome and charming. And he was gay... I guess it's for the best that someone came into Devin's life. He does deserve love. I just wish I could be the one giving it to him.

I knew I could never change what had happened to me. As much as I love Devin, I couldn't force him to love me. I'm fucking dead. He couldn't ever have a normal life with me. Why did I never tell him the truth when I was alive? I wanted so badly to just kiss him every moment I was next to him. He had Kylie then though, and now it seems he's already falling for this new man.

Suddenly in the midst of their song, one of the amps blew and Balz's keyboard stand got knocked over. Did I just... No, no. I couldn't have. Did I? I know from once before if I get upset I accidentally make things go crazy. I've got to get this under control. They, of course, stopped practicing to assess what happened.

"You okay?" Ryan asked Balz as he walked over to him.

"Yeah, but I'm not sure she is." He replied, referring to his keyboard when he said 'she'. "Damn it."

Ryan knelt down by him. "Can you fix it?"

"Yeah," He sighed. "But I won't be able to today. There was nothing wrong with her stand. Why the Hell did she tip over like this?"

"Maybe a ghost did it." Vinny joked.

Oh, if only he knew. When he said that, Ryan noticeably tensed up. He looked back at Chris, who then turned to Devin. Wait'ta be obvious, guys.

"What?" Balz questioned as it got awkwardly silent.

"Nothing." Devin quickly said.

Chris seemed shocked. "Dev, don't you think we should-"

"No." He insisted. "Not right here. Not now."

He sighed. "Larsen, could you please step out?"

"Yes, of course." Larsen politely replied. He grabbed his jacket and phone, then walked out of the room.

Devin sat down his bass in it's open case. As he turned around again to face Chris, he said, "I'm still not going to talk about it right now."

"You're going to have to tell them eventually. And it's not your choice, it's his." Chris responded.

"He's right." Ryan commented.

"Fine. If he wants to, then he can." Devin scoffed. He was pissed, I could tell.

I was caught in a trap. Quickly, I had to make a decision. I wanted to talk to Devin and prepare for this but there was no way I could get him alone. It was time I told Vinny and Balz but was I ready? Were they ready? Was Devin ready? He seems to want me to himself.

"Guys, am I totally missing something here, or...?" Balz asked aloud.

"It's hard to explain." Ryan replied. He stood up and said, "It's one of those you have to see it to believe it kind of things."

Balz stood up with Ryan. He began to pick up his broken key board. He made a weird face at Ryan because he was still lost as ever.

"I don't think you'll be seeing it today either." Chris stated. "Maybe it's best if we all just head home."

Shit, I should just bite the bullet. Who knows where the guys will be in a room again without Larsen. I hope Devin doesn't get mad at me for this. He seems like he's pissed at everyone anyways. They all started to pack up. Chris was heading to the door to tell Larsen to come back in. It was now or never.

"Wait!" I yelled at Chris upon appearing. He spun around and looked at me with a somber expression. I sighed, "Had to happen eventually."

"Yeah. It did." Devin muttered. Yeah, he was pissed.

I turned around to face Balz. He was speechless, just sitting there with his mouth gaping. Then he started to make sounds that weren't words, just gibberish. Ryan tried to calm him down so he didn't faint or have a heart attack. Then we all heard a thud, and glanced over at the drummer set to realize Vinny had been the one to pass out. Chris rushed over to him to help him up.

So in the last twenty four hours I've made Chris cry, Ryan almost scream, Balz forget english, and Vinny faint. Oops...