Bat Babes! I have a new story out named "Sanity" and it's GHORROR! - Nona
Chapter dedicated to bandsxmiw

Devin

At this point I was still very convinced I had lost my damn mind. Guess what? I was okay with it. Because, even if my sanity has left me, in the process I got Ricky back. Whether he really is a phantom or just a figment of my fragile imagination, I have him back. If only I had the ability to hold him and touch his milky white skin. However, that has become the major downfall. Anytime I get close to him, it's like standing near an open freezer. He radiates ice. That simple fact has me leaning more towards his presence being truly paranormal. I've heard of ghosts affecting senses and being able to move objects, but never a hallucination.

Despite the evidence, I do need to prove I am not the only one who can see him. I'm hesitant though, because either way I could easily lose him. If I am actually crazy, the guys will get me mental help. Doctors will force me on medication that will make my visions go away. If he is a ghost and the others do see him, they'll constantly want to spend time with him. I won't get to be alone with Ricky ever.

I know it's selfish, as the others are mourning and could use the closure, but I spent years being separated from Ricky. We lived together in a bus 300 days a year, yet I never felt like I spent quality time with him. Someone else was always there, including his dickfuck boyfriend. Can I consider Zane his boyfriend anymore? Ricky did breakup with him when he was alive. He just didn't know it. In my book, I'm considering Zane an ex. I swear I'll choke that man if I ever see him in person again.

Ricky would have never left the house if Zane hadn't upset him. As I said many times, I knew Zane would be the death of Ricky. I just never realized how right and how literal my words would come to be. That snake should be the one six feet under. I actually wouldn't kill him. Ricky would be forced to share the afterlife with him then. No, I'll lock the fucker in a shed and slowly torture him. Ricky can go find some murders out on the spiritual plane and have them let their angst against the living out on Zane. I'm sure a poltergeist can't be hard to find.

With all the anger Ricky held in his life, it's a shock he isn't more of a restless spirit. He has told me he doesn't know much about the paranormal world yet and it's taking him a while to figure out how it works. Things like materializing and moving small items have taken a lot of practice. I'm sure he's a long way off from making walls bleed and possessing bodies. I say all this on the assumption he is a spirit and not my mind failing. I'm pretty sure he really is a ghost, but time will tell.

It's been a few days since he first showed himself to me. You'd think life would be dramatic and full of heart warming moments now that we've been reunited. It hasn't, for the most part. I catch myself staring at his glowing beauty from time to time, but nothing I hadn't done when he was alive. No, we've fallen back into our normal routine as if he never died. We watch the game together, laugh at reality TV, write songs, gossip like teenage girls. Everything we always did together. We're comfortable together, just like always.

Ricky will disappear from time to time to think and leave me alone. I completely understand his need for space. It's got to get old, being stuck wherever I am. I wonder where he goes when he does vanish. He said he can't venture far from me, so I can imagine he just stays in the apartment. I'm not all too sure if he sleeps, or even needs to. Fuck I don't know if he can sleep! I've just been too timid to ask much about the spirit world. He doesn't mind talking about it. It's me that's a big baby about it.

Today, my fears carry over to something a little different. The guys are coming over to watch the hockey game. Not only does that mean Ricky might show himself if he feels like it, but it also means I'll have to be without him for the first time in a while. He told me he's going to stay invisible as long as I'm okay with it. I prefer it, because if we do decide to tell the guys, I want it to be on an individual basis.

At the moment, I was cleaning up my apartment. The guys will just fuck it up and make a mess anyways. I figure the aftermath won't be as bad if I start with a clean slate. Ricky sat on the couch with his legs up against his chest as he watched whatever was on the movie channels right now. I glanced over to see Dead Silence playing for the time being. He'll never admit it, but he is a bit of a baby when it comes to horror movies. My phone dinged, and Ricky jumped out of his own skin. Well... He doesn't have flesh anymore, but you know what I mean.

I snickered at how cute he was. First I finished putting away the last of the dishes. Then I headed over to where he sat, feeling the frost emitting from him as I passed him. I grabbed my phone from the now spotless coffee table, seeing a text from Balz.

Ryan-Ashley decided to close the shop early bc 1st snow is supposed to hit tonite. Is it ok if she joins us?

I replied, telling him I was fine with it. She's pretty mannerly and fits in with us well. Most the other girlfriends have always been girly and feminine. Ryan-Ashley is too, but she's also a tomboy. She isn't afraid to get messy with us. Those are my kind of ladies. Though I'm sure she, just like more women, won't be yelling at the TV during the game, she enjoys watching the sport. If nothing else, she gets free food.

Balz text me back a thank you. Not too soon after, I heard a knock at the door. It just so happened to be when I finished throwing the last bit of clutter into a drawer. I glanced over at Ricky. He frowned, knowing it was time to go. This is the first time he's been forced into it. He obviously wasn't happy. It broke my heart. Mostly, because I hate to see him upset, but I also didn't want to see him go. Ricky gave me a little wave before vanishing into thin air.

I sighed to myself. I'm happy to get to see my friends. However, being without him is draining. It's only for a few hours. If it gets too bad, I can always excuse myself from the others. I'd hope I'm not that overly dependent on his presence! If the days following his death hadn't proven it already, I'm addicted to him like a drug. Time to fake a smile while I sober up for the night.

"Took you long enough." Chris griped as I opened the door.

Without thinking, I let the words leap from my mouth, "No Ange?"

Fuck, I shouldn't have brought that up. Even though I know damn well they're lovers, I forget that he doesn't know I know. Asking Chris why he exclusively didn't have Angelo with him was about as weird as asking why he didn't have one of the others with him. He was stunted a bit by my questioned, causing an uncomfortable silence.

"Uh-um," He stuttered. "He's not coming tonight. He stayed home with Kelly."

"That's unfortunate." I awkwardly replied.

I pulled back from the door to allow him to step inside. Chris walked in and took a detailed look around my apartment. It's been a while since he's been here. This would be the first time he's seeing it since Kylie stripped herself from my life and Ricky's belongings invaded my space. It's funny that I've traded Kylie's things with Ricky's. His bass and guitar cases leaned against the wall that once held her paintings. Her perfume was gone from the air, replaced subtly by Ricky's cologne. That was just a few things amongst many, and trust me, Chris noticed them all.

As I attempted to close the door, it was unexpectedly thrown open. I quickly jumped back in response to it. Looking up, I saw Vinny running from Ryan. Chris stumbled back when their antics almost pushed him over. What are those two up to now?

"Give it back, dickhead!" Ryan yelled at him as he reached over his shoulder.

Vinny attempted to keep whatever it was away from him. He pushed Ryan back the best he could, squealing, "HELP! He's going to kill me!"

"Of course I'm going to kill you, you fuck! Give me my phone back!" He viciously responded.

"Don't just stand there! Help me or else you'll be looking for drummer number four!" Vinny spoke while swatting at Ryan.

"Depends." Chris said. "Why'd you steal his phone?"

Vinny squirmed away from Ryan and held his phone out of reach. He explained, "Because he wouldn't tell me about the new girl he's seeing. I took it upon myself to figure it out." He boasted.

I glanced over at Chris and waited on him to make the first more. He looked at me out of the corner of his eye, probably expecting me to do something. The right thing to do would be to give Ryan his phone back and let him have his privacy. When do we ever do the right thing? Ryan tackled Vinny against the couch and he yelped out for help.

Chris walked behind the couch and grabbed Ryan's phone from Vinny's hand. He really didn't care about our drummer dying at the hands of our guitarist. Just like me, he only really wanted gossip. Ryan is the dumbass that doesn't lock his phone. He desperately reached towards Chris but his efforts failed easily.

"Awwe, someone has himself a lil' gurlfwiend." Chris teased Ryan as he scrolled through his phone.

"Care to share?" I asked.

"Oh, this is gold." He grinned while the light of the screen illuminated his face. "Amy, you're so gorgeous I wonder what you want with me. You have such an amazing heart and beautiful soul."

Chris continued to read off his cheesy texts to this new girl. Ryan gave up and let the embarrassment overtake him. He sunk into the couch with his arms crossed. It was actually pretty cute but cliche as fuck. Ryan sounded like a fifteen year old girl, the way he talked to this girl. Maybe it was puppy love, but he did seem to care about her a lot.

While they joked and poked fun at Ryan's honeymoon poems, I glanced past them to catch my sneaky spirit. Ricky leaned against the doorway of my bedroom and laughed at the guys. His smile was so beautiful. When it came to Ricky, I could write words way cheesier than anything Ryan has. I wonder if I'll ever earn the courage to tell him the truth.

A knock at the door spooked him. Ricky disappeared again. As he left, he took a piece of my heart with him. It hurt to watch him go. I knew he'd be back, most likely. There's of course a part of me that fears when he disappears, he won't come back. I kept my feelings to myself and didn't let the guys see through me.

They fought for the remote to hurriedly turn on the game while I let Balz and Ryan-Ashley into the apartment. Once Ryan got his phone back, he ordered us some food. Thank Satan, because I was starving. I don't want to leave the house for obvious reasons. Making it so I had almost nothing to eat anymore. I'm always cautious about buying food anyways because I have to throw it out when I leave for tour.

Even if it was greasy take out, I was so happy to have real food. It sucks that Angelo had to miss his favorite thing; hanging with the guys and eating wings. I understand he needs to lend more time to Kelly to try to make it seem like he loves her. I'm sure he does, just not as much as Chris. They kissed each other so passionately that night. I so desperately wanted to ask Chris but didn't want it to start trouble right before tour.

Our night was filled with yelling at the TV, like usual. I know I get overworked at it. I've got to have something to get all my anger out at. At least I'm not letting it out on a person or something. Chris and I were a lot more aggressive than the others. Somehow Ryan-Ashley didn't mind the screaming. She was probably the only girlfriend that didn't. Hence the reason she's aloud over during hockey nights and the other girls aren't. In fact, she found it cute. I'm not sure what part of this is cute!

"What are you looking at, weirdo?" Balz teased her as she smiled at him.

"You know they can't hear you, right?" Ryan-Ashley asked in referring to our yelling.

He laughed. "It makes us feel better."

She pulled her phone out and turned it towards us while we got frustrated over a bad call. "Dorks." She giggled while snapping a picture.

We either ignored her, too focused on the game, or playfully rolled our eyes. The game went on commercial while she pulled the picture up in her camera roll. Ryan-Ashley suddenly yelped and dropped her phone. She covered her mouth and looked over at Balz. Her eyes turned glossy as he rushed to her side.

I muted the TV while Chris leaned over and picked her phone up from the ground. The screen was still open to whatever spooked her so bad. She couldn't find the words to tell Balz. Once Chris saw what was on her phone, he lost his voice too. He wordlessly handed Ryan-Ashley's phone to Balz so he could see what terrified his girlfriend.

"Is that what I think it is?" Balz spoke just above a whisper.

"What?" Ryan questioned, somewhat annoyed by the veil of mystery.

Balz tossed her phone over to him. Vinny stood up from the floor and leaned over Ryan's shoulder to see. I got off the armchair I was in and moved behind the couch, looking down at what he had. My breath caught in my throat when I saw the picture. You could clearly see there was something in the photo that wasn't in the apartment. Now I understand why Ryan-Ashley was so spooked. The damn shitty picture phone managed to catch part of Ricky's ghost.

We all knew what it was. The room fell silent. I guess that confirms I'm not crazy. Now I know, I'm haunted. And, everyone else knows...