The warmth leaves. The feeling isn't physical. Harry's hands were on the rather cool side, but as they dropped from my neck the warmth leaves. The feeling of being loved and accepted and happy leaves. I know then that I've lost it forever. There's no way to get the feeling back. My actions are permanent.

Slowly, the warmth leaves all together as Harry takes a step back. He's careful and slow, but sure. He knows what he wants and I'm jealous. I wish I knew. I wish I could agree with myself about what the best thing to do would be.

But it's too late. His back turns to me. The white blouse that covers his skin is sheer enough for me to see his pale back underneath. I want to reach out and I swear my hand almost does for a moment before I draw it back.

My heart screams at me as I watch Harry take another step and another and another towards the door. It screams that I've lost it. That I've lost it all forever. It's sobbing. It's angry. It screams. It's just as alive as the shame, but the shame is quiet. My heart is angry.

I fight back tears that threaten my eyes. My hands curl into fists at my side. Teeth grind together as my bottom lip starts to wobble. My heart is taking over and it's furious.

I watch, silently, as Harry opens the door and slides through it like a memory slowly slipping away.