Life  has always been a misery

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There will always be a void in our chest
There will always be constellations of our pain
We might have emerged into the new world
But there will always be a failure in our hearts
~N.V.M

I read the words, nibbling every syllable and roaming my fingers to those printed boldly words that are embarking on their power.

I took a deep breath while reciting the same phrase over and over again when my eyes were shut.

"Julia? Are you ready?"

I heard my mother's voice, her slow footsteps were coming closer, and my heart was beating faster, and faster.

I was on the verge of collapse as I saw my image in the mirror again.

I am wearing something which I never wanted to wear in my life, A gown, a creams colour silk gown that was hovering my figure up to its depths.

Every curve on my body was going to be framed forever,

My hair was tamed perfectly in the sleek style, my face was in gloom because I had no idea of what is about to happen to me.

My life is going to change ver and I have no idea if I am ready or not!

"You are looking, beautiful my daughter," my mother said while glorifying my image.

I have never thought that I can beautiful too like a flower that can bloom every time on cloudy dusks, or maybe I could be anything in my life. However, I have learned the beauty has always been about perfection which is nothing but a fake illusion.

And I am not ashamed of my fears, my vulnerability or anything.

"What are you thinking?"

My mother words peeped into my brain.

What I am thinking?

N.V.M

He has launched another book and my mind is swirling in the depths of emotions that no one is going to understand.

"We are getting late Julia, this is your engagement day,"

I saw the stressed line on her forehead, her face was mixed in the glint of prosperity and sorrow at the same time.

It's been three days since paa has returned from the hospital today is the day when I am going to engage with Arnav Mehra.

However, my heart is not skipping a beat at his name.

She rested her hand on my shoulder, "Are you sure about this?" Her eyes were full of gleam.

"Yes, I am," I uttered while ceasing away all the thoughts I acquired while reading away his poetry.

Poetry has always been so close to my heart,

"So, shall we go," she extended her hand and at that moment I was afraid of falling hard on the floor as this world is going to end.

But her trembling fingers clutched my hand so softly that I might have even forgotten who I am anymore?

Downstairs, everyone was waiting for me.

My relatives, his relatives all are gathered in one room to showcase how they love it when one person is going to belong to another.

Wish, we didn't have to belong to each other, and my dad had been all wrong about the belongingness then there will be no pain.

Nothing will hurt a heart!
We, humans, are blessed or cursed? For having sensitivities?

I was walking downstairs when my mind was in a different place far away from this world.

"My Darling," my father came to caress my cheek, her eyes were numb as maybe he was afraid too for the epitome that he is returning the life of his only daughter.

But, I smiled at him reassured him that nothing is wrong and I am here for him to hold his hand until his last breath.

As everyone gathered around the living area, where the fresh aroma of captivating flowers was giving its fragrance and the shining lanterns were radiating the shine of the world.

"And this beautiful couple is getting engaged today! Give them an applaud everyone,"

Everyone started showing their enthusiasm towards us as we were their shining armour.

My heart was beating fast, I was afraid of the storm that was ahead of me.

I had no idea if I was going to swim or going to be drawn in the water.

"You are looking gorgeous," I heard his words when his eyes were resting on my lips.

His dark eyes were strange, and I am afraid of everything.

He hesitated for a moment then grabbed my hand to slip a ring on my finger.

That ring was everything a girl could have dreamt of.

However, I was already lost in my bundle of thoughts.

As everyone started enchanted us he slipped that ring on my finger, so tightly that he will never let me go from his embrace.

And I heard an applaud once again, everyone was chanting my name now but for some strange reasons, I was getting cold, cold at the same time when it was the season of summer.

Everything was looking like a trap to me, as the chanting gets higher I swiftly grabbed his hand and slipped a ring on his finger without waiting for his confirmation.

Everyone was so delightful, their eyes were glued on us, but my heart was doing everything reverse as a storm is about to collide on me.

The ceremony was done, all the guests which I was seeing were either wearing high-class branded clothes which I have never admired in my life.

Drinks were getting served, food was getting served and I was lost of appetite.

He started introducing me to his relatives, his mother was too firm and generous she even patted my head. A lady with the perfect class as she has just arrived from the ramp walk.

His father was more like a businessman. He was engrossed in talking to paa about something which I had no idea about.

My throat was getting drier and drier, so I went to the counter to get myself a drink.

I heard an alarming tone as someone has arrived from outside to make their presence in this generous ceremony of Julia and Arnav getting engaged.

I was too endorsed and occupied with my thoughts when I felt a tap on my shoulder.

"Hey, meet my cousin, Neel Malhotra,"

I dropped a glass on the floor in the bitterness of shock, my eyes went wide as I saw his figure, his clumped shoulders, his deep eyes, his clenched jaw lurking at me asking me thousands of quests.

Five years of separation and the circle of my life merged into one again.

"And she is-"

"Julia,"

Before Arnav could complete his sentence by saying my name by feeling my name over his tongue as he wants to say I belong to him. But, Neel was way ahead of him he already whispered my name in a cloudy tone when everything stopped there for a moment.

My life has always been a misery, the boy who broke my heart, the boy whom I am going to marry are cousins and I am sandwiched between them.

"Do you know her?" I could sense the tension in his voice when he said the sentence in his strict tone.

The girl who didn't care about any Men or anything has known his cousin!

I don't want to create a dramatic scene here, so I beat him up.

"He was my classmate in University," I looked away while closing my eyes.

All the past moments are now playing in the head one by one.

My heart was about to explode, and I was fidgeting at my place showing everyone that I am nervous as hell and leave me alone. Sadly, no one notices that.

"Oh!" Arnav made an oh noise while pouting his lips.

"Looks like Your fiance might have not noticed me in her school back in Mumbai,"

At that moment I wanted to hide away from the whole world when I heard his statement.

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