I return to the doctor's on July 17th. We had to reschedule because I was in the hospital at the last appointment in Seattle.

Now I'm here, about to get the lump tested and cut out. Pete and Patrick and Mama and Gerard are by my side as we sit in the waiting room. It's true that it had originated as lung cancer, then caused the lump. They don't expect any more of them, thank god, but they need to remove it so it doesn't cause anymore harm. Afterwards, we'll talk about treatments.

I'm scared, we've both already decided to do chemo because it's the cheapest and the most efficient but I'm scared. And I'm sad. And Pete keeps telling me not to give up hope but it's so hard when all my brain screams at me is that I'm gonna die and my heart whispers in a caring tone it'll be alright.

His hand is in mine. My eyes are on the floor. Everything is a blur and I don't realize I'm crying up Patrick wipes a tear from my cheek and hushes me. I immediately lean into his side, letting him pull me close until my head is in his chest and I'm shaking.

Pete sighs somewhere to my left but Patrick only pats my back and pulls me up, saying to Gerard and Patrick and Donna in a quiet voice that we'll be back. I don't make an effort to talk to them, too much is rolling through my mind, too many worries, too much.

Patrick pulls me out of the waiting room and to a small, empty area with a water fountain and an elevator heading downstairs. The blond hugs me close, hushing my frantic sobs and wiping my tears.

"Mikey, hey," Patrick whispers, "Look at me."

I just stare at the ground, I can't. What if it spreads? What if it goes to my brain? What if I die? What if the surgery only makes it worse?

"Mikey!" Patrick snaps, forcing my head up, "Take a deep fucking breath."

I comply after a moment, feeling my lungs inhale, then exhale.

"It'll be okay, trust me." He gives a fond smile and I find myself return it weakly not long after.

"Michael Way?" I hear a call from the waiting room and immediately turn my head.

"It'll be okay," Patrick whispers, "I promise."

I can only wait and see.

***

I'm not sure how much time passes before I wake up, eyes opening drowsily from where I find myself laying in a hospital bed. I'm hooked up to an IV, water flowing into me. Nobody occupies the room besides Pete beside my bed, eyes glued to his phone and his eyes lowered.

"Hey."

He looks up, blinking with those bright brown eyes and immediately smiling, "Mikey, you're awake."

I nod, "Did it go well?"

Pete puts his phone away as he replies, "Yeah, they got the lump out and are tracking the cancer. It hasn't spread from your lungs so that's good. I'm gonna go get everyone else."

"Wait," I say, "Can it just be you? I wanna talk for a bit."

He blinks, then nods, smiling softly and sitting back down.

"Over here."

He chuckles a little, instead sitting on the hospital bed and kissing me gently, lips dancing together. I smile, unable to do much else.

We don't break away for at least thirty seconds and when we finally do, he rests his forehead on mine and shuts his eyes.

"You're beautiful, y'know that?"

"Shut up, Wentz. You're such a fucking romantic," I reply, rolling my eyes.

He kisses me again, then traces his lips down my cheek and jaw to my neck, "Well, you know what? I'm gonna ask my dad to let me stay at your house tonight and maybe you can meet him and I'm gonna prove you wrong."

I raise my eyebrows, "Oh."

"Oh," he smiles up at me, "it'll be okay. I swear. I really gotta bring them in, though. I love you, M."

"Love you, too, Pete."