Iv,

It's me George! John is ill. He has a terrible cold and you know him when he's sick. He turns into a whinny little girl. He's not speaking until he's better. He needs to save his voice. I found him with a pen and paper, shouting his lungs out. Obviously, that was no good. It went something like this:

"SodoffIneedtowritethisbleedinletter."

He was so snazzily, Iv, I could hardly understand what he was saying. But I'm pretty sure he was cursing. He could barely speak, but he still cursed. Oh, I tell you, he's a clown! I frowned at him and went, uh-huh.

He shouted some more and I took the pen and paper away from him. "For Iv?" I asked.

"Hmm," he nodded his head. I left the room and now I'm outside, having a cigarette, trying to think of what to write you.

The funny thing is, I've been saving up things I want to tell you. I've been saving them until I see you. And apparently I saved them so well, somewhere inside my mind, I can't remember them. What do I do now, Iv? Do I tear out my brain and give it a good shake? That sounds rather dangerous and unpractical. Maybe not that, then.

* * *

I'm remembering things now. Most of them seem so silly, things that would have gotten a good laugh at the moment. But they all seem pointless now. It doesn't matter, Iv. Here's a list. I know you love your lists. (As much as you love your tacos.)

1. A dog took a piss in my shoe

2. I got a haircut and they cut too much at the front. I looked like a bowl for a week.

3. I wrote a song.

4. I wrote another song.

5. John liked none of the songs.

6. I had tacos. (They weren't good.)

7. Maureen and Ringo got married!

7. I was the best man.

8. I was supposed to be the best woman at your wedding. *

* The best woman because you don't really have any friends. Which is rather sad, really. You've got a really great personality. My guess is, girls are envious of you.

Evie, I miss having a girl to talk to. Most of all I miss you, my great pal. I miss running to you and phoning you as soon as something happens. Ignore John all you want but please talk to me. (Alright, don't. Don't ignore him either.) (Poor bastard.)

I have not been eating my apples,

- g.

P.S do you get it? I haven't been eating my apples...because an apple a day keeps the doctor away. And you are almost a doctor. (ha, goodness Geo you are so hilarious!) I'm serious Iv, I'm definitely not trying to keep you away. Come back, yea?