Dear Evie,

I know death has never scared you. I know you've always lived your life well. You've always loved. You've always given. You have done everything within your grasp to help others -- including wankers who don't deserve it. I'm not just talking about me. Although, I might be the biggest of them all.

It scares me, Evie. I stay nights wondering, what if I die before I accomplish this or that.

There are so many blanks in my life. So many things I want to do. Of course, I don't wish for it to happen until I'm old and wrinkly and lived a full life. But you never truly know.

I could drop dead the next instant. But then, so could you my dear.

Isn't that thought scary?

Evie, you complete one of those sentences. I've been thinking about settling down. I'm getting so bloody feed up with it, Evie. Touring. Playing live. I can barely hear myself. Or the other lads. It's too much. The lack of privacy. The constant chasing. A new city every night, hardly any breaks...sometimes I feel like I might explode.

Sometimes, I feel like a wanted man. Except, I remember, I am a wanted man.

Will you be there when it all ends? Will you wait for me home? Please say yes. Let's get a house in the country, far, far away from other's. I'll buy you a whole library filled with books. We can read in the morning and take walks in the afternoon.

Put me out of my misery, Iv. Because all of these bleedin' what if's are giving me a headache.

I'll change.

Just say yes.

Life is too short for this...for fighting. Let's stop. Let's make love instead.

Too soon? You know, I had to try.

Yours,
John