I've been out of the dating scene for a long time now and based on what I see now and what I remember it being like back then, it seems like a pretty good thing that I am.  The only thing I think I kind of miss is that feeling of excitement when it seems like you're really hitting it off and connecting with someone new.  But overall that sort of thing seemed to be a semi-rare experience sandwiched between a lot of disappointment and totally not connecting or hitting it off with people.  Even some of the ones that it seemed like I was hitting it off with, it turned out I wasn't hitting it off as well as I thought I was.  In short, the dating scene is pretty rough.

I've totally missed out on the whole Tinder phenomenon and things of that ilk.  They didn't exist the last time I was single, so I can't really speak for what they're like.  I dabbled a little bit with some online dating sites and I think I had just created an OK Cupid account, but then never ended up using it.  One thing I'm super glad I missed out on is the whole people pretending they're somebody they're not, also known as catfishing.  

I think catfishing is a product of the internet era, and probably more specifically the social media era.  I don't remember it being much of a thing back in the day.  I don't even remember hearing the term until I saw the movie Catfish that came out in 2010, which I believe actually coined the phrase.  It probably would have been pretty hard to represent yourself as somebody else before there were numerous pictures of everyone available to be grabbed online.  I suppose you could have been a fake pen pal or something back in the pre-internet days, and that probably happened at some point in the history of humanity, but I bet it wasn't super common.  

I don't claim to be the sharpest tool in the shed, especially when it comes to dating.  I probably could have easily fallen for a catfish, especially in the early days of social media before I was aware that it was a thing.  But I think now I would be really on my guard for it.  I'm sure there are some highly skilled catfishers out there, but with tools like facetime available now I would definitely want a lot of proof that someone was who they said they were before I met them, especially if I had to travel anywhere to do so.  

One of my guilty pleasures is watching the various iterations of the tv show 90 Day Fiance.  While I think pretty much everyone on the show is crazy for wanting to rush into marriage with someone who's basically a stranger, the storylines that are obvious catfishes are the ones that perplex me the most.  I understand wanting to find love, but the levels of delusion some people have and the mental gymnastics they will undergo to maintain their belief in their "true love" is mind boggling.  Every time I see a scene where someone gets stood up waiting for their obviously fake girlfriends who they've never met but are completely convinced are real, I can't help but shake my head.  I want to feel sorry for them, but I kind of can't.  I mean, I remember what it was like to feel lonely and really want to just connect with somebody, but if anyone ever stood me up with no explanation, I'd be out of there.  That would be the end of it for me for sure.  Whether the person is real or not, that's just a supreme dick move.  I wouldn't want to be with anyone who would treat me like that.  Nobody should.  

Like I said, I'm not the biggest dating expert of all times by any means, but Wuckster's #1 rule of dating is if a person is really interested in you, they will be excited to meet you in person.  They will go out of their way to make it happen.  They will not stand you up with no explanation.  They won't ghost you.  They won't seem wishy-washy about wanting to meet.  If they don't seem genuinely interested in you, they're almost certainly not and you should get the heck out of there and not waste your time.  I know it's frustrating, especially if it seemed like you were really hitting it off, but one thing I always prided myself on was an ability to take a hint.  If somebody wasn't answering my calls, or not returning them, or even calling first sometimes, I could read the writing on the wall pretty quickly.  It sucked, but really in the long run it was for the best.  Not to be cheesy or anything, but we're all precious little sparks of uniqueness and we all deserve someone who will love us for us.  It unfortunately takes a while to find that sometimes and a lot of patience might be required.  Heck, you might even date some perfectly nice people for a while who for various reasons aren't "the one" and that's okay.  Maybe "the one" doesn't even exist, but never settle for someone who disrespects you and treats you like garbage.  It's honestly better to just be alone.  At least you can do whatever the heck you want when you want to.