I know I'm not perfect. I know I'll never be. But anyway it's perfection I try to seek. I wanna be so much more than I am. I wanna be pretty and smart and special. I don't wanna be me anymore. I wanna change and improve myself. I wanna show everybody that I don't care about their opinions, that I don't need them to be happy, that I'm enough and I'm happy with what I am.

But I ain't.

I'm not as strong as I may seem, I cry, way too often, only because I don't know how I should cope with life. I imagine being dead and I have no problem with it. It would be okay for me. It would be easier, and easier means better. I just don't know what to do with what I have, what I am. This is supposed to be a life, but I'm not living it. Everyday I wake up, questioning everyone and everything, especially me. If this is what life will be after growing up then I wanna go back to being a child and never get older. I wanna live without regrets, without all these problems that make a to-do-list out of my life.

I wanna travel and never really come back. I wanna experience that feeling of being home and never miss it. I wanna fall in love and never reach the ground.

I don't wanna be perfect. I don't need to have a perfect life. I just wanna be okay. Okay with me, okay with the others, okay with that life. I wanna live the life of my dreams and never have to wake up. And maybe it's not perfection I try to seek. It's happiness.