"Are you going to keep staring at me like that?" My mom uncomfortably shifts in her seat as she puts a piece of kimchi into her mouth.
"네 (ne=yes).." I answer lazily, the smile not leaving my lips even for a second.
"Weird girl.. Go on & eat. Your eonni will pick you up very soon. She'll throw a fit if you're not ready yet when she arrives." She says while focusing back on her bowl of rice.
"네.. Eomma, saranghae." I get up from my seat & kiss her on the cheek.
Completely startled by my sudden display of affection, she touches her cheek & stares at me wide-eyed.
"What in the world is going on with you today?"
"Nothing. Just continue your breakfast." I smile at her & pick up my chopsticks.
I've come to a conclusion that I must be drunk shitless in real life & having a very vivid dream, because there's no way that I could really go back in time, right? This kind of stuff only happens in movies or dramas. I'll treat this as a break from my miserable reality. If I can't turn back time for real, let me do it in my dream.
But what about Jisung?
My heart stops as Jisung's innocent smiling face filled my mind.
Jisung ah, wait just for a little while for eomma. I'll come back to you again once I wake up from this dream.
"Btw, where's appa?" I redirect my thoughts & bury the guilt inside me.
"He's going out for morning walk with his friends as usual. He-" She suddenly stops talking & clutches her chest.
"Eomma?! Are you okay?" Panicked, I abruptly stand up & rush to her side.
"I'm fine. I probably swallowed too fast & the food got stuck in my pipes." She pats my shoulder to reassure me, but I know that it wasn't that simple.
"Yeobo! Look what our neighbor gave us. Dongman's wife made some radish kimchi & it tasted so good. You should learn how to make it from her, yours is a bit too sour." My dad barges into the dining room with a box in his hand.
"What's wrong? Why are both of you staring at me like that?" He asks when he notices that we're looking at him in annoyance.
"Nothing. Finish your breakfast Y/n ah." My mom urges me to go back to my seat.
"Appa, eomma experienced pain in her chest earlier. You should bring her to get it checked." I straighten my back & approach my father.
"Really? I bet her food just went down the wrong pipe." He glances at her & immediately dismisses my concern.
"Appa! Can't you be a little bit more attentive to eomma?! You'll regret it when it's too late!" I can't contain my emotion & yell at him.
"Why are you yelling at me? Did I say anything wrong?" He looks back & forth between me & my mom quizzically.
"Y/n ah.." She stands up & tells me to shut it, but I won't. Not this time.
"You need to take better care of her. She's done so much for this family, yet all you do is complaining. If you like Dongman ajusshi's wife so much, why didn't you just marry her?!"
"Kim Y/n! That's enough. Apologize to your father now. What's wrong with you this morning? You've been acting so weird since earlier." My mom slaps her chopsticks on the table & scolds me.
I turn to look at her & tears inadvertently escape my eyes.
"I don't want to lose you again." I mutter under my breath.
"Mwo (what)? What is she talking about? Are you going somewhere yeobo?" My dad asks in confusion.
I know that it wasn't his fault, but I still couldn't let go the resentment I have for my dad.
If only he had taken better care of her.. If only I had done more..
In a swift move, I snatch the box from his hand & throw it in the garbage bin.
"Ya Kim Y/n.." My dad tries to stop me but he isn't fast enough. The box drops with a loud thud inside the bin.
"I don't need Dongman ajusshi's wife's kimchi. I think eomma's kimchi tastes one thousand- no, one hundred thousand times better than hers. Eomma, I'll be going first. Saranghae." I say before I stomp out the door.
"Ya! You haven't finished your breakfast!" I can hear her calling, but I continue walking while wiping away the tears from my face.
I won't let it happen again. Not in my dreams.

The morning breeze cools down my heated cheeks as I walk briskly out of the neighborhood. I take in my surroundings & am amazed by how real all of this feels.
This sure is one VERY vivid dream.
The sudden sound of car honking makes me turn my head.
"Ya! Where are you going? Have you forgotten about your promise?" A red Mazda stops right beside me & a woman wearing a pair of huge sunglasses shouts at me from inside the car.
"Eonni?" I barely recognize her with the trendy short haircut & eccentric outfit.
Ahhh now I remember. She used to have that period of trying too hard to be fashionable.
"Get in the car. We're running late already." She commands.
"Where are we going exactly?" I ask her as I get on the passenger seat beside her.
"Ya Kim Y/n, did you lose your memory or something? I'm organizing my friend's restaurant opening today & you promised to be my assistant." She shoots me a weird look before hitting the gas.
Wait.. I feel like something important is going to happen today. But what is it?

"Y/n ah, table 10 needs another bottle of soju!" The owner of the restaurant calls out to me.
"Ah nee (yes)!" I quickly turn off the faucet & wipe the water on the apron I'm wearing.
Assistant what assistant? She basically brought me here to be a waitress.
I grumble inwardly & hurry to the front with a bottle of soju in my hand.
"I'm sorry for the wait. Here's your soju. Enjoy." I fake a smile & put the soju bottle on the table.
I walk heavily to the back & check my phone.
9:23 PM.
Huh.. When is this going to end? I've been working nonstop since 10 in the morning & it's getting even busier now.
"Y/n ah, can you please deliver this to table 4?" My sister appears out of nowhere & shoves a plate of fried chicken at me.
"Eonniiii, I'm tired. Can I go home now?" I whine.
"Just hang in there for a few more hours. I'll treat you to something nice tomorrow." She pats my shoulder hurriedly.
"I don't want food. Even just the smell of samgyeopsal makes me want to puke now."
"Fine. I'll give you money ok? Go deliver the dish now." She says before disappearing into the kitchen.
"Huh..." I heave a deep sigh & stagger towards table 4.
Right then, the front door opens.
"어서오세요 (oseooseyo=welcome)!" I automatically belt out.
The owner of the restaurant instantly drops everything & rushes towards the front door.
"Hyungnim! Thank you so much for coming. Ommo & you bring the boys too!" He exclaims excitedly.
Boys?
Out of curiosity, I lift my head up & glance towards the front. My heart skips a beat & the plate I'm carrying almost slips out of my fingers.
That guy in black hoodie who's talking animatedly to the tall guy with silver hair. I will never forget that face. That eye smile.
The younger version of Park Jimin.

-•-

"Eonni, can I go home now? I'm really tired. Please just let me go home." I hurriedly whisper to my sister.
"You promised to help! Ok ok, I'll talk to eomma about that new phone you've been wanting. Don't you dare go anywhere." She quickly dismisses me & rush back to the kitchen.
"Eonniiiii.." I whine but she's disappeared behind the door.
Don't get discouraged Y/n ah. You must avoid him at all cost.
Now that I've seen Jimin, I remember the importance of today.
It was the day when I met him for the first time.
Just like in the dream I'm having now, five years ago he came to my sister's friend's restaurant with his manager & bandmates. I was asked to serve his table & we got talking. I remember I was so excited when he took notice of me & hoped that he would ask for my number. Then, before he went home, he did & the rest was history.
I'm not going to repeat the same mistake of giving you my number in this dream. I've had enough of you in real life.
Since my sister doesn't allow me to go, all I can do now is hide. I keep myself busy by serving tables at the other end of the restaurant, far away from the private room Jimin & his friends are in.
11:30 PM.
The crowd is thinning as it's about time for the restaurant to close.
Hang in there Y/n ah. Thirty more minutes & he's out of your life. Dream, I mean.
But sometimes, we really can't escape fate. Just when I think that I've succeeded in avoiding Jimin, my sister calls me from the door of the private room.
"Y/n ah! Please bring 5 bottles of soju to the private room! Make it fast!"
I instantly freeze on the spot.
No no noooo!! I don't want to meet him! Wait, calm down Y/n ah. You can just ignore him if he starts talking to you. Yes, that's right. Even if he asks for your number, you can refuse to give it to him. Just deliver the soju quickly & leave.
I brace myself & enter the private room. My heart stops as I see Jimin staring right at me as soon as I open the door.
Right. He was sitting right in front of the door back then. That was how our eyes met & after that I felt that he kept staring at me. I got so nervous that I knocked over one of the bottles & the content spilled onto his hoodie. Then, we started talking when I helped him clean up the mess.
I avert my gaze immediately & place the bottles carefully on the table, taking extra care so that I won't make any mistake this time. And I don't.
Breathing a sigh of relief, I hastily bow & excuse myself from the room.
Pheww! Thank God I did it right this time. But something is off. He doesn't have the same reaction as he did back then.
In fact, I noticed that he turned his face sideways instantaneously when he saw me coming.
Oh well. Whatever. I've succeeded in avoiding him this time! Goodbye Park Jimin!
"Eonni, it's time for closing. Can I go home now? Pleaseeee. My legs are so sore." I rush towards my sister who's standing at the cash register.
"Huhh.. Fine, you may go now. Thanks for your help today. I owe you one." She smiles at me & ruffles my hair.
"Yeay! Thank you eonni!" I hug her arm & head towards the restroom to change my clothes.
After I'm done, I walk out of the restroom & check the bus schedule on my phone.
"Oh no, the last bus is going to leave soon." I mutter to myself in panic. Accidentally, I bump the person who's walking from the opposite direction towards the restroom.
"Ow. Sorry. I was in a hurry so-" I apologize to the person & look up.
"Oppa.." It's Namjoon. The silver-haired guy Jimin was talking to earlier.
Namjoon has always been very nice to me. I knew he had some interest on me back then, but he'd never said anything because I was dating Jimin. I remember thinking that if I hadn't ended up with Jimin, I would definitely date Namjoon.
Even after Jimin & I got married, he still texted me from time to time asking about how we were doing & if we needed any help. In real life, he's still a very successful producer, singer, songwriter until today.
So sometimes, I wondered if my life would turn out better if I picked Namjoon instead of Jimin.
No Kim Y/n. You need to stay away from them. All of them.
"Oppa?" Namjoon looks at you in confusion.
"I'm sorry for bumping you but I need to go now. Have a good night." I bow at him & run out the door.
I catch the bus just in time. Looking out the window, I think about my real life. How life would be if I had done everything differently, just like I did tonight.
Too bad this is only a dream.
I smile sadly to myself & scoff.
Jisung ah, eomma's dream will be over soon, so wait for me. I'll come back to you as soon as I wake up.
I lean my forehead against the glass window pane & think to myself as the bus cruises on the empty street.