~Kamsi~

*
There are times when I wish I could just sleep the pain away. I'd wish I could just lay unconscious for as long as the pain would take me, just so I wouldn't have to feel it each time I wake up. But, Reality's hiss stings more than a snake's bite, and I wake up to those bruises and all those memories that caused me all that pain.
Just be real with me 'cause we all have our equal share of fears.

*

"What are you doing?" Kambili said, staring all wide-eyed, at me.

I stuttered, and wondered if it was too late to say that I had 'accidentally' stumbled into the room. "Uh..." Her eyes kept questioning me, and I soon ran a hand over my face. In fright, I quickly looked behind her; to be sure no one was there, and hurriedly pulled her into the room. Then, I shut the door.

"What the hell, Kamsi? What's the matter with you?" She stared at me, like she was trying to read my thoughts, just by staring into my head.

I sighed, and pulled my face in-between my palms. "You have to keep quiet about this. Promise you won't tell anyone." My eyes were dead serious, and I was sure she got the message I wanted her to.

Slowly, she nodded her head at me. Then she looked worried, and whispered, "is something bad about to happen? What's going on?"

"Nothing you should be worried about. In fact, just leave and act like you never saw me in here," I looked at her, and tried to look as desperate as I could. "Please leave." I stressed, yet she still stayed.

She blinked. Once. Twice. And still wasn't moving - just stared at me like I'd grown a tail on my butt. "What?" Agitated, I nearly snapped at her. Luckily, I caught hold of my tongue, right before I could say anything I would end up regretting.

"What...? What are you doing here, Kamsi? What's going on with you? I'm worried... And don't dare try to tell me not to worry. Something's up. Tell me." Her eyes were pleading with me, and she looked like she had so many hopes built up on those few words of hers. She looked like she was testing me to dare try shutting her out again. "You... You don't trust me enough?" Her voice held hurt, and when I looked her in the eye, I saw raw hurt sitting right there. It stung to look at her for even a second longer, and so I looked away.

Her eyes looked like they'd bleed. She was trying to keep it under control, I could tell because she wouldn't stop shaking her head in disappointment. "When, Kamsi? When will you finally trust me enough to tell me what's going on with you? You just— you just shut me out like I mean nothing to you." She huffed, and stared at me like she were losing her mind.

"That's not true!" I snapped. "I do care... And— and that's why I'm asking that you leave. Now, please leave." I quickly added.

She shook her head at me, almost like she had been bruised right where it hurt the most. "Fine. Keep your secrets. Don't tell me anything. Just keep being secretive, and  keep acting like I'm a waste of your precious time. I'm used to being treated like I don't exist, anyway. Been invisible to you for as long as I remember, anyways." With that, she angrily reached for the door knob.

My heart dropped to the floor. "That's a lie. Don't say that again. I just have—"

"I am you sister, Kamsi!" She snapped. "Your twin sister. Gee, don't you think I get curious too? Don't you think I want to know what's truly going on, too?" She hissed. "There's no use explaining anything to you. You'll never get it. Just go back to playing your fun game of—"

"I'm sorry."

"Sorry doesn't cut it." Now, she'd already let go of the door knob. Her arms were folded in front of her chest, and she was glaring at me.

"I'll tell you... But would you believe me?"

She rolled her eyes. "Why wouldn't I?"

"Because you didn't the last time," I deadpanned. "No one did." Silence, extremely tensed silence, hovered between us both. We stared at each other, like we were trying to see into each other's heads, peer through each other's minds, and read through each other's thoughts.

In the end, I gave up and broke said silence. "Kambili... Just leave. Please." I didn't dare to look into her eyes. I couldn't. Her eyes had so much hurt in them. Hurt, because I couldn't trust her. And it wasn't that I didn't want to trust her... Things were simply complicated.

"I am not leaving until you tell me what the fudge is going on!" She stated, with clenched fists and gritted teeth.

I sighed, and shut my tired eyes. "Fine," I opened my eyes, making sure to stare directly into hers. "You want the truth? Then I'll give it to you," she looked like she was daring me to spit the words right out of my mouth. I tried to, even though the words felt so heavy on my tongue. In the end, I blurted the truth without thinking twice. "Dad had Alisa shot. I was in here 'cause I was looking for proof. I want to expose the truth to everyone... But first I need proof against him. I—" I stopped mid-sentence and glanced at Kambili, to know if she was still listening to me. She wasn't anymore, and I could tell because her eyes seemed to have gotten drained of the color in them.

She looked like she had zoned out a long time ago, and like she were lost in the maze of her thoughts. Her eyes had long lost contact with mine, and she was staring at the ground as though they held the answers to the all-too-many questions she had going on in her mind. "Bili?" I voiced out, and slowly approached her. At that split millisecond, I immediately regretted saying anything to her.

Kambili loved our father, even though she knew he had way too many faults. She had always loved him, even way more than she had loved our mother. And that was why she always found excuses for whatever wrong thing he did. She always found ways to make it seem like it wasn't his fault. She always found ways to make herself believe that he wasn't a bad person.

But he was. And I wanted, more than anything, for her to understand that the man she loved so much; was in fact a terrible person. I wanted her to embrace the fact that our father had skeletons hidden perfectly in his cupboard. She needed to understand that. She simply had to. And she really needed to accept that fact, because he would never change.

"I... I'm still finding this hard to process," she murmured, more to herself than to me. "But how? How did you find out? Are you even sure? Dad couldn't have done that to Alisa. What wrong could she have done to him? He wouldn't do that. Are— are you sure you're not... M-mistaken?" Her words came out shaky, and breathy. She could barely keep her worry at bay, and she visibly trembled before me.

"Forget what I said. I should've known you wouldn't believe me. That was why I never bothered saying anything in the first place." I said, already pissed at the fact that she wouldn't stop finding excuses do that devil of a man.

As I made my way for the exit, Kambili hurriedly grabbed my arm. Her eyes read concern, and they withheld empathy in them. I wanted to pry her hands off, and simply wanted to tell her that it was okay if she wanted to pretend that everything was okay. But, looking back at my twin sister, I realised that she was simply in the dark. She was simply the one wronged multiple times but still chose to never believe, nor accept that all she had known; were simply plain, unfiltered lies. She was hurting, and wouldn't stop finding excuses to help ease the pain. She wanted to believe what she wanted to... And how could I blame her for wanting to retain her sanity? All she did, she did for sanity's sake.

"Tell me everything, Kamsi. Sure, I've been refusing the truth for so long. But now? I want you to be real with me. Tell me everything you found out about dad." I was glued to the spot, lost in the web of confusion created by my very own thoughts.

I wondered whether it would be right to add more salts to her wounds, and ruin any chance of her thinking she could still save the pieces of this broken family, and — somehow — glue them back together. Telling her the truth, would certainly break her heart. It'd certainly take things to a whole new level, one which would definitely cause a bit of commotion in this mansion.

She had been very excited on the day she found out that my dad and his wife wanted to adopt a child. A girl our age. Kambili was thrilled, meanwhile, I was simply angry about the entire thing. That day Alisa arrived, Kambili seemed to be the happiest person alive. She wouldn't stop telling everyone at school, and she wouldn't stop trying to create a bond between Alisa and herself. Whereas, I wanted nothing to do with Alisa, in the first place.

Long story short, when Alisa finally got shot... It felt like a part of Kambili died again. It felt like she embraced the fact that nothing good lasted in her life. It felt like she finally accepted the fact that she wasn't destined to be happy with her life.

Definitely, telling Kambili the truth about her father being responsible for Alisa's shooting - would definitely ruin her. Telling her was one thing, but proving it to her would do more damage than good. It'd definitely make her lose all hope of ever trusting our father again. She'd probably lose all hope on relationships, even. And worse, it could turn her into me. I didn't want that for my sister. I didn't want to see her hurt, and neither did I ever want her torn apart like I  became.

Therefore, looking at those eyes of hers — which demanded the truth and nothing but the truth — I was drawn between two crossroads. I didn't know if it would be right to ignore the repercussions, and simply tell Bili the truth - regardless of how much the truth would potentially break her. Or, to simply keep her in the dark for a while longer - just so I could make sure she didn't have to shed tears at night, lose her sanity and simply become a shadow of her former self. The latter would totally crush me. It broke my heart into a million and one pieces.

"Tell me, Kamsi. Please. I want the truth," her eyes wouldn't stop digging holes on my conscience, and bruising my heart. Those eyes of hers wouldn't stop challenging me to dare tell a lie to her face. In them, I saw a rare spark of desperation, and a glint of bravery. Almost like she was trying to make me believe that she could handle the truth. I couldn't ignore how much I could clearly see the eagerness in her eyes. It were as though her eyes were saying the words: "just trust me this once. Trust me."

I gulped, and she held onto my hand more firmly, but not in a way that seemed harsh. "If you trust me enough, you'd tell me the truth and nothing but the truth. Don't hold back. Be real with me. Let me in on everything you found out. Did dad really have a hand in Alisa's shooting?" Her eyes remained fixed on mine, and no matter how much I dared to look away; I felt like my eyes were glued to her intense gaze.

Kambili's eyes pleaded with me. It looked like they were brimming with tears. And the next words that fled out of her mouth, left me shaking with utter confusion.

"Did dad have a hand in Alisa's shooting, Kamsi?" Again, I was thrown into utter discombobulation.

*

What will Kamsi's answer be?
Because I love you... There's another chapter waiting for you. Go! Go! Go! But quick, please vote and comment first!

See you at the end of the next chapter's A/N😘