Confirming

I am utterly confused by how things are going on inside my head. I know I'm not in any supernatural fantasy novel but why does it feels like I am?

I need to confirm things.

The day started and I'm walking at the hallways after giving Jaechan his today's pocket money. I pause when I heard some guitar strums on the hallway. I try to find where that sound is coming from and then I found myself outside the window of the pupils' classroom and stares.

It's Beomgyu hyung, he's singing while the kids are listening and smiling at him. They are all sitting on the rubber mat of the music room.

There are times when I’m lying in my bed
Hug my pillow and cry from this tip again
And my eyes are like windshields on a rainy day
Almost rubbed down, swelling, as I keep on
Dipping my face in these cold hands of mine
Heaven knows how bitter I am

This familiar feeling once again. Why does I always like I have been doing this since then? Why Beomgyu hyung is so familiar to me when we just actually met?

Am I having deja vu? Did we already meet before but I just forgot? Now this adds to my confusion. Everything is so messy.

Cause this angel has flown away from me
Leaving me in drunken misery
I should have clipped her wings and made her mine
For all eternity

It will always be impossible that his past lover and I has some connections. We just resemble each other, we just have the same name but we are not the same!

Now this angel has flown away from me
Thought I had the strength to set her free
Did what I did because I love her so
Will she ever find her way back home to me?

We're different from each other and I'm going to confirm it today.

Suddenly our eyes meet while he's still doing his own thing. I forced a smile and he did the same before I turn my back and continued walking upstairs.

I packed some of my things, today's weekend and my mom wants me to go home already because we're all having dinner. I was at it when the door opens and there's hyung.

"You're going to Seoul?" he asks.

"Hmm," I confirm. "You know mom..."

"Let's go together," he suggested that made me stop from packing and look at him.

I frown, "You're not going to throw me off the car, right?"

"Hey, punk!" he scolded me and I laughs. "I'm going home as well so I thought I can give you a lift as well. Well, that's on you—"

"Let's go, let's go together!" I affirm right away and I noticed that he chuckles. "What's funny?" I frown.

"You. I'll be waiting outside."

"That— tsk!"

I continued packing my things and I don't know why I am smiling right now. There's progress! After doing what I need to do, Beomgyu hyung and I both talked to Mrs. So that we're going to go back to Seoul.

"Can I have your phone?" I asked him before he starts driving.

"Why? Inside my bag," he casually reply, puts on his sunglasses, and he extended his arm on my side as he looks back for backing.

What the... Why does he look so cool?

Then I suddenly felt his hand on my chest that made my eyes widen. "Oh sorry," he apologizes because he steps on the breaks without any warning and he proceeds on driving as we went out of the place.

What just happened…?

I look for his phone again, and I smiles when I see his wallpaper; it's him with the kids. "What are you looking for?" he asks me as he glances.

"I'm asking for your number," I said and dialled my number on his phone.

"Did you just made a move?" he smirks.

"No!?" I roared. "So we can go back in here together," I reasoned and put his phone back on his bag.

"Okay," he just replies but I glared at him because he's still grinning.

"I'm telling you it's not like that!" I argued.

"I'm not saying anything!" he laughs and he glances at me before fixing his eyes on the road again. “Can you take me somewhere first before I go home?” I ask.

“Where do you want me to drop you off?” he asks back. “Ah, do you want to meet my grandma?”

I blink twice after I heard him suggest that and something inside me starts stirring up. I’m meeting his grandma? For real? Are we that close now that I can meet his grandma?

But actually this could be an opportunity as well to confirm things!

“I would love too!” I exclaimed and I saw him smile. “I’ll just message mom.”

I suddenly felt excited after hearing it. It’s really a good thing that Beomgyu hyung started opening things up to me. In no time, I’ll be able to help him and while I’m doing it, I’m also gaining my memories back.

Everything is going well.

The almost two-hour drive has ended and we enter the apartment’s parking lot. We get off the car and took the elevator. “Your grandma isn’t that strict, right?” I ask.

“Not really…” he replies casually.

“Why did you suddenly want me to meet her?”  I asked again.

“Just…” he purses his lips. I know. I know why. Of course grandma must have known who his past lover is. So, we’re both going to know what will be grandma’s reaction to see me when everyone thought he already died. “But don’t worry, she’s really a good cook too.”

I smiles, “Typical grandma,” I commented.

We reached floor where they are staying and we started walking. This is a fine unit, so why is he still busking? For sure Beomgyu hyung isn’t that poor or maybe he just love to do charity works using his passion for music.

“How about your mom? Is she here?” I ask.

“Nope… My mom has her own family now,” he answered that made me gasp. “Please don’t feel sorry or something, it’s totally normal and I’m fine with it,” he smiles and scans his keycard.

Is it really normal? No matter what it is… it’s still a broken family though?

“Halmeoni!” Beomgyu shouted that echoes inside the whole room while we’re both taking off our shoes. “Wear this,” he said and lends me the slippers. “Halmeoni! Your handsome grandson’s already in here!”

That made me pauses and stares at him. Beomgyu hyung… has this kind of attitude? All this time I thought he’s this cold and strict one. I just chuckles because we really have different personalities depending who we are talking to.

“You just arrived and you’re already shouting!” it must be grandma’s voice. “Why are you always so loud, huh!? There’s no silence—Oh heaven, who’s this young man?”

She doesn’t recognize me.

“Hello Ma’am! I’m Kang Taehyun… I work with Beomgyu hyung at children’s home,” I introduced and bent myself to show her respect.

“Kang Taehyun?” she repeated as if she’s recalling something. “Why does it sound familiar?”

Wait a minute… My name sounds familiar rather than my face?

I shifted my eyes at Beomgyu hyung and he look away. I started frowning at him and he speaks. “Oh grandma! Are you done cooking? We’re hungry.”

“Of course! I know that you’re going to come home today but I hope the food is sufficient for both of you,” she answered. “Taehyun, right?” she smiles at me.

“Yes, Ma’am.”

“Just call me grandma,” she stated and chuckles. “Come on, let’s eat.”

Hyung and I started eating at the dining while grandma started knitting near the terrace. “Hey,” I grab hyung’s attention. “What was that?”

“What’s what?”

“Playing innocent, huh? What was that? Why can’t your grandma remember your ex’s face?” I asked.

“It was dark.”

“What!?” I groan. “Hey, did you really had a lover before? Or you’re just pulling a prank on me all this time?” I accused him.

He sighs before drinking water, “I told you, it’s complicated.”

“What complicated? That he didn’t really existed at all?”

“Maybe,” he agreed and stares at me. “Maybe he didn’t really exist. Maybe I was really the only one who knows him,” he stated and stands up while holding his plate and put it on the sink.

I gasps and loosen my grip on the utensils. This is weird. Everything doesn’t make sense. Grandma asked Beomgyu hyung to run for errands and that why I left with her inside.

“Halmeoni,” I called her and she glanced at me before she continues doing her knitting. “Can you tell me something about Beomgyu hyung?”

“Ah that punk?” she chuckles. “That kid suffered a lot while he was young,” she started. “I was in and out at the hospital and his parents weren’t around that time. That’s why, Beomgyu started working part-time jobs behind my back.”

She continues, “And then one day, miraculously, someone paid my hospital bills but he was still working hard then he started dating as well,” she chuckles at the end.

“Was he at senior high school that time, halmeoni?”

“Oh how did you know?” she look at me. “You’re right. What was his name again? Ah, Choi Soobin.”

Choi Soobin… not Kang Taehyun?

“Who else after Choi Soobin?” I asked once more, trying to squeeze after.

“There’s none. But I can clearly see how Beomgyu smiles a lot, he looks happier, he enjoyed those days for sure,” she chuckles again while remembering the old days.

I nod at her and think. Who is Choi Soobin? Was Choi Soobin and Kang Taehyun different person?

“Then does hyung had a friend who… died?”

She pauses and I saw how her hands rested on her lap as she started thinking, “Died?” she repeated. “I don’t think so?”

I frown. It doesn’t make sense. If Beomgyu hyung loved him to death, his grandma should have known, right? Were they at a secret affair or something? If he has Soobin that time then he two-timed with Taehyun!?

“Daebak…” I muttered with wide eyes.

“Why? What’s so amazing?” Halmeoni confusedly asks me.

“You said my name sounds familiar, right Halmeoni?” she nods at my question. “Where did you hear it?

“Was it a kid’s name?” she started frowning as she tries to remember. “A kid who loves catching butterflies…”

Butterflies?

I gasp and my heart started beating fast as some scenery started flashing across my head. There’s the grass field full of dandelions, flowers, and butterflies. The summerhaze and the wind that’s touching the grass making them sway. Two kids laughing while lying on the grass full of butterflies above them.

The door opens and I stand up to see Beomgyu hyung standing across me. I stare at him and he did the same. I came here for confirmation but things went even messier.

“We’re going to leave soon…”

“You’re really going to leave me?”

“You have butterflies around, you aren’t alone.”

Now that I thought of it, one of the kids’ voices is the exact voice I heard when I dreamt of a kid beating by his father. What is this? What is happening?

Does it mean that Beomgyu hyung and I might already meet way back years before?

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A/N: Due to some plot changes, Book 2 will extend up to 65 chapters. Starting on June 3, 2024, we will be updating all weekdays. Thank you!