"i want to know your shadows
let me be your light"

Iftia: Lyx Palace, Rowan's Bedchamber

• Rowan •

I never knew words could mean so much.

The hollowness he felt within was suddenly filled to the brim with her warmth. Love was a mystifying idea that he had lost hope in many years ago and yet she sat right in front of him, so perfect and whole. The way she carefully wrapped her hands around his head and cradled him against her smaller frame had trembled his heart violently. His name sounded like a silent prayer that she would whisper reverently under her mellow exhales. And her presence was like a hand that penetrated deep through his chest, touching the buried light within his soul.

Circling an arm around her, he pulled her to him. He wanted her close to him out of abstruse desperation. To him, she was an incarnation of magic that was above all that he had possessed. She was an enchantment that breathed life into the glacial front that he had hidden behind.

What did I do to deserve you?

A pang of guilt struck him, knowing that he had nothing to offer her. Under the scrutiny of all evil that surrounded Lyx, he couldn't confer her any title or name. She accepted him without complaints, even when he had selfishly withheld her love.

"Eli," he sighed. "How much I would give just to be with you but I do not have it in my power to leave a promise unfulfilled."

A heavy pause of silence fell in the thin space within them as he waited apprehensively for an answer.

"Rowan," she whispered. "Neither could I leave the unjust unanswered."

She shifted slightly and positioned herself to face him, her amber-eyes pierced right into him as she fixed her gaze on him. She continued, "Knowing that you love me was enough for me."

"Not enough for me," he admitted. "I can't give you anything, but I'll give you my a half of my soul if you would accept."

※

• Elianna •

"You shouldn't," she gasped. "Y-you mustn't do that unless you're sure."

"I've never been so sure," he smiled sadly, but his earnestness shone through those brilliant blue eyes. Her heart almost leapt out of her chest when those words imprinted themselves in her mind.

To give someone one half of their soul was proof of the highest level of love that someone could give. It goes beyond promising in absolute truth. When one person offers their soul, the other would have the power over them. Yet, when two persons offer their souls in exchange, they form a spiritual bond that ties them forever to one another. As poetic as the ritual was supposed to be, it was considered by many to be foolish to present oneself vulnerable in front of others. Royals exceptionally hated that idea, they would do nothing to have others overpowering them or share their strengths. The only person she knew who had given half of his soul away was Jason. But he never told her who he had given it to.

"I'll give you mine too," she said with serious conviction.

"You don't have to—"

"I want to," she quickly intercepted.

"Are you sure?" he checked.

"Absolutely," she smiled as tears streamed along the side of her cheeks. His thumb caressed the round of her cheeks to wipe the crystalline droplets away.

He gripped onto her waist and held her up. Instinctively, she tightened her hands on his shoulder and allowed him to take him where he wanted to take her. He placed her gently on his bed before settling in front of her.

"Let me show you my gift," he said with slight nervousness. "Tell me about your answer later."

She nodded before his hand moved towards his chest, where his heart lies. A sudden glow appeared and an orb appeared in his hand. He presented it in front of her and she took a sharp inhale.

It was the most beautiful thing she ever saw. His orb was pure white and it shone resplendently in front of her. Smaller spheres and magic dust danced gracefully around, before merging into the radiant centre. His orb contrasted antithetically to hers that she was at a loss for words. She wondered so painfully if he would accept her darkness tainting the purity of his.

Eli, take it.

A voice sounded in her head, screaming for her to grab the beautiful orb in front of her. Inexplicably drawn to it, her hand moved by itself to reach for it. Yet, the second before she could claim possession over it, Rowan had retracted his hand immediately. When her attempt failed, an unknowing rage rose within her as she shot her head up to glare at him.

"I want it," she bit through her words but her will fought to push herself back.

"Eli." He kept his orb out of her reach and used the other hand to push her back down on the bed. "I know it's hard, but in order to do this, you have to suppress the desire."

"Why am I feeling like this?" she cried, struggling to keep herself from pouncing forward like a bloodthirsty wild beast.

"Breathe, love," he cooed. "It's part of the process. This is why it can be so intimate, yet dangerous at the same time."

She followed as he said and inhaled deeply. Using all the mental willpower she had in her, she pushed back the voice that haunted and attempted to rob her conscious away. Eventually, she regained her sense of control, albeit arduously.

"What is your gift?" she breathed.

"What does it look like to you?" he replied with a question, his eyes observed her carefully.

"Pure white and perfect."

"My orb is whatever you thought of me, love," he smiled, before continuing to explain. "Embodiment, that's what I hold. Magic is whatever I want it to be and you would feel what you perceive of me."

Elianna stared at him, not understanding.

"Do I glow in white to you all the time?"

She nodded, recalling the other time when she had witnessed the white glow surrounding him when he tended to her wound on her thigh.

"That's how you perceived me to be," he said. "At least, I'm glad that you regarded me positively."

"What do others see?"

"May not be as nice," he smiled sadly.

She went silent and placed her palm above her chest where her pulse pounded strongly against her ribs. A mist of darkness gathered in the space between her palm and her skin and she brought her orb of darkness in front of him. Specks of amber orbited around the unilluminated middle. She watched closely as his eyes fixed his gaze at her gift. His throat worked on a swallow but he remained where he was, calm and collected. He didn't react to it as she did a moment ago. Beneath all the hungry innate desire that tormented him vociferously, she saw acceptance and affection in the pair of cerulean oculus that was staring right through her gift.

"Last time," he whispered gently, whilst through clenched teeth. "Are you sure?"

"Absolutely."

※

embodiment : the ability to control all form of magic by the user through perception, which reflects how it should be felt by others. 
(it sounds all-powerful but all great powers come with a price and its limitations)