There's a buzzing numbness that encases my body as I begin to rise up from my unconscious state. My eyelids are heavy and I find it difficult to breathe. Mainly for two reasons. I can feel the water I must have inhaled gurgling in my chest as well as the compression of layers of gauze surrounding my ribs. "Where am I?" I mutter more to myself than anything. Despite the rising panic I feel, I also note that I'm rather comfy where I lie. I crack my eyes open just enough to see a wooden ceiling and the surrounding walls of a cabin. With my senses rushing back to me full-force, I take note of the furs that are draped over me.

"I was beginning to wonder if you'd pull through." A gravelly voice chuckles. The accent is a familiar one considering it mirrors my own. However, I know I can't possibly be in Russia. Can I?

"Who are you?" I demand whilst sitting up. A bad decision, really. As the water in my lungs shifts, I begin hacking and coughing and begin to wonder if I'm going to choke up one of my own lungs in the process.

"I'm offended you'd forget me so easily, Iris."

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"Good, you're not dead. I was afraid I'd have to bury you myself."

"Lucky...you." I gasp out, my entire chest erupting in white-hot pain as I do so.

"I wouldn't try to speak if I were you. You had a pretty rough fall, you know."

"Tell...me...about it." I lift my head from resting on the lake shore's pebbles. They aren't rough and fail to dig into my skin as they surely had been smoothed out over time by the lapping of waves. Grumbling, I draw up one arm and I place my hand palm down into the stones.

"That's not a wise idea, you know." The wise voice chides. I ignore it as I'm still not completely sure if I'm hallucinating or if there's really someone on the shore watching me. I begin to haul one side of my upper torso up. Then I use my other arm to push the other side of my body up. The intense throbbing in that shoulder grows tenfold as I do, so I lower myself back onto the beach.

"Ow." I hiss, my voice strained and tense.

"I suspect you've either broken your shoulder or dislocated it. I may be so bold as to think that when you hit the water you broke some ribs also." Well, that might explain the generalized pain of my torso. "While you were out, I made a stretcher." I hear shuffling. So, there must be someone on the beach. That, or I'm having a severe psychotic break. I feel something tap against my side a moment later, opposite of where my face is pointed. "If you can roll over, I may be able to help."

"H-how d-do I kno-w yo-u-u-'re not an aa-x mur-urder?" I stutter out as the cold air and water finally have their effect on me. A sharp chill shoots up my spine and through my limbs. For the first time in years, I feel the chill completely and fully without my ability to manipulate the energy around me. I blame this on the fact of my exhaustion.

"Besides the fact I'm old and don't have an ax on me? If I were I would've killed you when you were unconscious. There would've been less of a fight, if at all any. Now stop yapping and roll over onto the stretcher. You're going to freeze to death, and it's starting to get dark." I direct a halfhearted scoff at the voice but regret it immediately as my chest tightens painfully. Giving in, I elicit a groan as I cautiously roll over directly onto the stretcher. I lean my head back once adjusted and am surprised to find some sort of cushion there for my head. That's when I hear a clicking sound, like hooves on stones. It quickly becomes obvious that my assumption is correct when I feel something soft and warm rub against my face. Warm puffs of air float across my skin as the horse inspects me. "Ah, it seems ol Apollo likes you." I wrinkle my nose in distaste as his horse continues to sniff my face. "Alright Apollo, leave the waterlogged Avenger alone. I'm sure she's gone through quite some problems as of late." I can tell the horse lifts his head before it blows air out of his nose sharply, followed by a shuffling of hooves on stones.

"He-hey, i-if y-you aa-re g-going to mur-murder m-me, d-do i-it fa-fast." I slur before my grasp on the living world is ripped from my fingers and I'm out cold.

Literally.

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"Carter." I conclude breathlessly, stunned. He offers me a grin. He looks nearly the same as when I left him four years ago. Albeit his hair is more a gray-white now and he seems to be using a cane to get around his little cabin. "But...Russia?" My brows furrow as I continue to stare at him in shock. I can see him deflate before he begins to speak.

"Not long after you had left, maybe five months later, HYDRA came strolling into camp looking for you. Nobody in the village would utter a word about you, so they killed everybody and burnt the rest to the ground." The older man looked down at his hands where they were folded in his lap. I stared at where he sat in his chair across from the couch I currently occupied.

"Then how are you here with me right now, Carter?" I whisper as I try to keep a hold on my churning stomach. Revelation hits me hard as my heart begins to clench unnaturally within my chest. I reach up and grab the fabric of my half burnt shirt before my heart begins to thunder dangerously. "Alissa." I look deep into Carter's eyes and only see remorse and mourning.

"I was out with a hunting party. When we got back, we found all that we had ever loved burning to ash. They had shot everybody and left them to be engulfed in the inferno. We barely escaped before they could find us." The blue-eyed man looked toward the floor as tears trailed down his face.

"I...I think I'm going to...Carter I'm going to have a panic attack." I wheeze as air abandons my lungs. I swing my legs over the edge of the couch and nearly stand before Carter places his hands on my shoulders and guides me back into a sitting position. "There's still out there Carter. They'll come for you, for us."

"Shh, shh. It's ok, Iris. It's ok. They won't find us here. I promise." He takes a seat next to me and draws me into a hug against his chest. My hands begin to shake with such a ferocity that soon spreads through my body. I should have known it would've only been a matter of time before HYDRA would've gone looking for me. I should've insisted that Carter and Alissa come with me. SHIELD should've been there to protect them. They had to have known what would happen. But now there's nothing to be done. Now there was nothing but an emptiness deep within me.

"I'm so sorry, Carter, this is all my fault. This is all my fault." I choke on non-existent tears as my body continues to shake against the arms wrapped around my shoulders comfortingly.

"No, Iris. This isn't your fault. This was HYDRA." His voice very nearly sways my heart into believing his words, but I know. I know better. I know this wouldn't have happened if I had never done that which I had. The worst part? All those people paid the price.

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I found the next few days in Carter's company to be painful. Heavy in the air was a mournful atmosphere. Carter told me he had never really fully mourned Alissa and now that I was here...well, I happened to remind him of his late wife. After all, she was the one who raised me for a good amount of time. She made me in her image. She taught me how to be a person and not an experiment, how to speak and communicate, and how to love. Alissa was the mother I never had and Carter saw her in me every time he looked at me. I was a painful reminder of what had transpired and I hated it. I hated it with such a burning passion. I didn't want to be the cause of so much of his pain. Yet here I was.

I know Carter was trying so hard, so hard, to be upbeat and strong. But I could hear him. I heard his soft sobs at night and it absolutely tore me to shreds that I had such an effect on the man who helped me, who loved me as his own. The weight of the massacre sat heavily on my shoulders, no matter how much Carter tried to reason with me. It was another stark reminder of what that organization was capable of and what they'd further be capable of if I hadn't destroyed their precious research.

"You're doing it again." Carter chides from where he sits at his workbench carving away at a block of wood.

"I can't help it. I keep thinking of all the ways I could've prevented it." I hunch over carefully. My elbows rest on my knees while I hold my head. I wish I could say I was going to be alright, that all I needed was time, but...I don't think I'll ever really be 'ok.' I had already had a number of panic attacks over the past week, each more severe than the last. And the last thing on my mind? My friends. Ultron. Sokovia. The fallout. What was on my mind? Were there still HYDRA agents out there? When would they find us? Would I be able to defeat them? Would I be strong enough?

"Then think about something else." He turns to look at me briefly. "Tell me about your new friends. Before you ask, yes, I do keep up with the news." I don't fight the small smile that erupts on my lips. I look up and give him a small nod.

"Well, there's the OG gang...Rogers, Stark, Banner, Romanoff, Barton, Thor. Then I came along, as did the Maximoff twins. Wanda and...Pietro." The smile drops off my lips as I begin to wring my hands together nervously. I had been here for days already and not once had I even thought about the male twin.

"You sound disappointed." I shake my head.

"Not...disappointed, just...worried. Last time I saw Pietro he was in bad shape. He was littered was bullets. I'm not entirely sure he made it." I rub my eyes with the palms of my hands before leaning back into the sofa. "We had a date." I sadly smile.

"Well, it looks like you're gonna need a rain check." Carter tells me with mild amusement. "Is he cute?" He spares me a look over his shoulder. I can't help but laugh lightly, careful of my injuries.

"Oh, he's absolutely adorable. He's got the bluest eyes I've ever seen, no offense Carter, and the loyalty of a wolf. Not to mention the ferocity of one." I lean my head back and close my eyes, a deep smile on my lips now. "I thought he was a haughty piece of sewer trash when I first met him...but he's actually just like me. In more ways than one. He was a HYDRA creation too, Carter. I think that's what's bonded us, along with his sister Wanda." I open my eyes and look directly at my very first fatherly figure. He's turned completely to face me. There's this deep look of admiration in his eyes. I shy away from his gaze. "He's witty, sarcastic...fast, oh, Carter, he's fast. He's a speedster. Those are his abilities. His sister is a telepath that has mild energy manipulation, kinda like me." I tell him.

"Iris, I'm so proud of you. Look at this life you've made for yourself. You've found people just like you and you're out there doing what you love. I always knew you had the heart of a warrior, Iris, and it just overjoys me to see you doing the thing you never realized you loved." Carter heartfully tells me. I quickly wipe the tears that have outpoured onto my face and take a deep breath. I hack for a moment, having disrupted the water in my lungs, much to Carter's amusement. I threaten to throw a pillow at him. We quickly settle down once my coughing fit does. The smile quickly turns into a frown and my atmosphere turns stormy. "What?"

"I don't even know if he's alive." I sigh, crestfallen. "I mean, the team probably doesn't even know I'm alive." I cross my legs and sigh. I find Carter smiling at me like a wise man who seems to know something I don't. "What?"

"I think it's best that they think so." My eyebrows scrunch together. "It gives you time to heal and your team time to deal with the mess they've made in Sokovia." I hate to say it, but Carter does have a point that I find myself nodding to. "Your body is in a fragile state of repair right now and it doesn't need the stress the Avengers would give you. Can you imagine that playboy and his boyfriend leaning over you all day, making sure you're okay?"

"His boyfriend?" I lift a brow in question.

"Oh yes, the angry one. Turns green?" He questions, looking up from whatever he's now doing at the workbench.

"The Hulk?" I lift a brow at him.

"No no, the man." He shakes his head and turns his attention back to what he's doing.

"Dr. Banner?" My eyebrows scrunch together.

"Yes, him." I can't help but snort, wrapping an arm around my midsection as I chuckle as much as I can without hurting myself.

"Oh no, Bruce has some weird romance going on with the assassin." I correct.

"The other angry one with red hair?" He asks, amusement evident in his voice.

"Yeah, the other angry one. Plus Tony has a girlfriend now." I add, smiling to myself as I think about my teammates.

"Oh yeah? And how many of those does he have? Back in the day, I heard he had three at a time." I shake my head in amusement.

"Just one this time. I think he's finally starting to settle down." Carter chuckles to himself but nods anyway. I can tell that he doesn't believe me. He grows quiet for a moment before getting up and moving to the kitchen, using his cane for balance as he does so. My eyes trail after him. He shuffles around in the kitchen for a moment before coming back to me with a hand carved wooden cup. I stare at him quizzically.

"It'll help with your injuries." I shrug my good shoulder and take it from him before swirling the liquid in the cup a moment before downing it in one go.

"JOSEPH, MARY, AND JESUS THAT TASTES LIKE POISON."