There I sat

'neath a nail-clipping moon

watching gasps of puffy clouds

in a dull steel sky

A waft of petrol scented air

lifted from the street below

wrinkling my nose

and intruding on dour thoughts

I lifted my glass

studied the contents

then emptied them

in one long swallow

A siren cracked the evening air

shrill, urgent and upsetting

I didn't need other's troubles

the glass refilled

The moon winked at me

smirking, you're not special

another siren ripped the fabric of the night

underlining the thought

The balcony door opened

the doctor's face

suitably compassionate

words I never wanted to hear

Shock, betrayal, anger, self pity

glass and contents

sail into the night

a shattered smudge on the street below

Placating words

waved off in frustration

outrage and blame

cursed aloud at the simpering moon

Tears leaking all that's lost

sobs begging for understanding

an ache encompassing all the futility

endured for ever so long

My hands seize the railing

in a grip of iron

I stare at the moon with contempt

complacent in a careless universe

Nerves collide in a strange sensation

as my feet clear the rail

destiny approaches in slow motion

until it is met head on