Jumbled thoughts,

elusive as beads of mercury

on a glass surface,

suddenly sharp in focus

then vanishing instantly

their significance irretrievable

Searching for me,

for who I think I am

wanting to be that person

seeing instead who I am

aching to rationalize

the invested or the role

eyes closed in concentration

kaleidoscopic images,

fragment of a thought

grasped for a split second

and lost again

a war between duty and deed

a plumbing of the psyche's depth

finding truth, or desires

examining validity of motive

for my public face

demoting the inner image

facing the uncertainty of reality

accepting the unavoidable

stripping the emotion raw

owning what you have become

shouldering responsibilities

making peace with limitations

above all - being what's needed