(Liam's POV - Tue. 22 April 2014)

I lay still in bed for a few minutes after my alarm has gone off. I am so tired... which is not surprising after two almost-sleepless nights. The first night was spent between sobs and naps and the second one I spent laying on my back and staring at the ceiling in the dark, brooding over my anger at myself for having fallen so easily with a man like Joshua. My mind is so confused. I don't regret a single moment I spent with Joshua because I was truly happy with him. He taught me a lot and helped me to grow up in maturity. I discovered my sexuality with him; I learned to stand for myself and gained a lot of confidence. It was all positive but I should have known better than to fall in love. From the start, I had doubts about how far we could take this relationship and yet I let myself fall; hard. I know that I shouldn't be blaming myself too much. Joshua was my first crush; the first man who ever managed to stir things within me that no other man or woman ever did before, so I guess that even with the strongest intentions, I wouldn't have been able to fight this. Everything was always so intense with Joshua. Everything but the reciprocity of feelings.

So, yeah. This second night brooding over my anger and sadness was not really restful. Counting sheep didn't work as it only reminded me of counting spanks... I am turning nuts, I know... Closing my eyes was only bringing back images of Joshua... and his strong body.... his safe arms... his deep voice... his electric blue eyes... his muscles... his beautiful smile... Every time I was trying to close my eyes, all these pictures would flash back in my mind and send painful shocks to my chest. Thinking that someone will soon enjoy the comfort of his body is painful but I can't let myself dwell on this. I spent part of the night wondering what he was doing and how he reacted to my absence in the office. I wonder if he acted as if everything was normal. He looked shocked when I left him on the terrace, but strong as he is, I would assume that he must have already recovered.

I must have dozed off at some point of the night but I am not anywhere close to my usual seven hours of sleep. I am exhausted, however, I have rarely felt more determined than this morning. I can't let it go on like this. I have to bring closure to this story because I won't let myself drown in despair or anything such. And the only way I can think of to turn the page is to get up and have the guts to hand my resignation letter to Allan. I had first thought about giving it to Joshua himself but since Allan is my boss, he is the one I should present it to, I guess. Besides, it might make things easier for me... a tad bit easier than if I had to face Joshua... Allan knew about our relationship and I assume that his friend must have already told him that the two of us no longer exist. I just hope that Allan will treat me impartially and won't ask too many questions.

"Humpf... there's no breakfast this morning?" Shan asks as he walks into the kitchen while I am sitting at the kitchen table sipping from a mug of tasteless coffee. I am already showered and dressed up for work, wearing a nice pair of jeans and a dark blue button-down shirt; much more casual than the business suits I usually wear, but why would I bother dressing up well when I am not sure that to stay after I have spoken with Allan? Although... he might ask me to finish the week considering the huge amount of work we have this week. Poor Edna will find herself drown under work again until they find a replacement for me; not really my problem but I still feel bad for her.

Shan is in only his pajama bottoms and I chuckle at the little fat he has accumulated around his waist, giving him some cute love handles, probably the result of his lack of activity recently. This job in the woods will be quite physical from what I understood and it should do him some good.

"I wasn't hungry... Just do it yourself... and make sure you don't burn the kitchen," I tell him with a small smile.

"You haven't slept much again, have you?" he asks, narrowing his eyes.

"A bit more than last night," I lie, fully aware of the dark circles beneath my eyes.

"You should call in sick again..." he proposes unsurprisingly.

"No, I'm fine... And I don't want to stay locked up in here all day..." I reply confidently enough, though it has more to do with the fact that I am eager to turn the page on the last nine months of my life.

"You should at least talk to Joshua..." Shan suggests, making me almost wince at the name. "If that argument wasn't that bad, how come you two haven't solved it yet?"

"Maybe because I've been here since then...?" I offer, arching an eyebrow.

"Yeah true... but... Li... I was kidding when I said I want you to stay here the whole week... I'd actually rather you go and talk to Joshua so that you two can make up. I know you love him and you two should disc..."

"That's fine Shan," I interrupt him, pulling the best out of me to sound convincing enough. "Just don't worry about it. Joshua and I can sort things out later on, so I'd rather spend a last week with you before you go away for two whole months..." I insist, silently realizing that this friendship with Shannon is the last true thing I have. In a way, I am glad that I don't have to fight with Joshua about where I should be spending the next nights because that would have certainly been the case if we were still together. "I'd better go now... I'll see you tonight?" I add slightly more cheerfully as I drop my mug in the sink.

"Yeah sure. Call me if you need..." he says hesitantly before he wraps me in his arms for a hug that I willingly return. That guy and our friendship are really the best things that happened in my life and I am terribly going to miss him.

However, before my courage deflates completely, I break free from Shan's embrace and finally head out of the apartment. For some reason, I was almost scared to see Joshua's car and Tony waiting for me outside my building but when I get out, the way is clear and I head toward the train station, yet still with the impression of being watched. The white envelop in the inside pocket of my jacket weighs like a hundred pounds and I wonder again if I am making the right decision here. On one side, there is this job I really like, in a good and successful company; the team I work with is great and I have gotten used to some of the colleagues that I sincerely appreciate; working with Allan and the project team is extremely interesting too... and on the other side, there will always be the potential risk to meet my ex-boyfriend / Dominant with all the pain that it may result in. And this seriously weighs heavier in the scales.

Keeping my eyes on the ground, I leap up the flight of stairs and walk into the building, briefly greeting Markus who nods back at me as seriously as ever, before I hurry to the elevators. Of course, luck could not be on my side and I have to wait for a full minute before one of the lifts comes back down. Just when the doors are about to shut close, someone barges in, calling my name.

"Liam!! Hey you're back!!" I recognize Elena's voice and raise my head to give her a small smile. Elena has become a rather close colleague since I joined the company and I will miss her greatly, just as much as I will miss Ally. "Oh God!!! What are you doing here?" she exclaims, pressing the 17th floor button.

"Hi Elena..."

"Liam! Why didn't you stay home if you're still sick? You look awful, Buddy..."

"Thanks..." I mumble. "I'm fine, just a bit tired..."

"This is not serious, you should have stayed home to rest!"

"I'll be fine, don't worry," I try to reassure her.

"If you don't feel good, promise me you'll ask someone to drive you back home, alright?" she requests as we stop on the 15th floor and I start to make my way out.

"Yeah... promise... See you later?"

"Sure..." she says, her eyes full of concern as the doors slide shut again.

It is barely eight and the open space is empty except for a few guys at the back to whom I wave hello. I turn around and head to the left where Allan's office makes the corner. The door is half-open and when I knock and get inside, I realize that he is talking on the phone. Before I can turn around and walk out, he frowns and beckons me to come in.

"Liam has just arrived, Tony, so I'll talk to you later," Allan says, hanging up the phone and putting his headset back on his desk. "Good morning, Liam."

"Good morning, Sir," I say as clearly as I can, fishing the envelope from my pocket. "Can I talk to you for a minute?"

"Of course! Shut the door and take a seat," he offers.

"Oh hum... that won't be long... I just... wanted to give you this..." I explain, taking a step further toward his desk and seeing how his eyes slowly lowers to the white rectangle I am holding, realization becoming clear on his face.

"Shut the door and take a seat," he repeats more firmly. With a discreet sigh, I comply with his request and drop my laptop bag on the floor next to my chair. Allan's expression has considerably hardened within a few seconds and I suddenly find him quite impressive even if he is sitting across from me.

"That's my r..." I begin, tentatively pushing the envelope toward him with a shaking hand.

"Rejected," he interrupts me, his eyes sending daggers at me.

"Wh... what?"

"If that's a resignation letter, I reject it, Liam," Allan explains sitting back up and lacing his fingers over his desk as he leans forward.

"Why...?" I ask, completely bewildered by his reaction.

"Because I don't see any valid reason to accept it. Why would you resign, Liam? Care to tell me?" he asks, arching his eyebrows.

"I... I have... personal reasons," I just state.

"Not valid to me. Have you found another job?"

"No..."

"Have you been treated badly, in the office, either by me or any member of my team?"

"Noooo..."

"Do you need a salary increase?"

"No..."

"Don't you like your job with the operations team?"

"Yes I do..."

"Would you rather work in another department?"

"Noooo..." I reply again, getting annoyed with all these questions.

"Then you don't have any valid reason to resign, Liam. And I reject it," Allan says strictly.

"But... I... I can't stay h..." I start again.

"Liam, I'll make it clear and brief. Obviously something happened over the week-end. This is none of my business and it should not interfere in the work here. You are an extremely valuable employee with an impressive potential, and not only as an assistant. Honestly, this Company has plans for you in the future and I don't want you to ruin this career opportunity. I can understand that some things might be... difficult, but you have to learn to stay strong in adversity. The only floors you have to visit here are all below the 21st, so be smart and stay here." Allan pauses for a long minute and I don't dare looking up at him. Instead, I think over what he just told me. What does he mean by having plans for me? "Liam, don't do anything stupid on a whim or hastily. You should always take enough time of reflection before you act," he finally resumes. Is it me or do his words seem to have a double meaning?

"But..." I try, finally looking up at him.

"Just take the time to think things through. After tonight, if you still want to resign, I'll ask you to give it to HR yourself, but you'd better be prepared with some good reasons... Knowing how Elena appreciates you, you'll probably face a questioning in due form," he adds with a satisfied smirk as he reclines in his armchair. He's such a bastard too... I'm not surprised that he is one of Joshua's friends after all. I just wonder which one taught the other... though I have my personal idea on the subject.

"I'll think about it," I sigh, taking my envelope back and standing up.

"Liam," Allan calls as I am about to walk out. "Whatever happens between... you two, don't let this ruin your life or your career in the future. I can tell that you have opportunities here, so work it out in that sense, understood?"

"Okay..." I whisper before I finally walk out and follow the corridor to my office which is the one next to Edna. I quickly greet her and we catch up on work.

Great... I think to myself once I am back at my desk shortly after nine. My plan worked super well... not. Here I am back at my desk with yet another positive item on the good side - although I wonder what plans Allan is thinking about for me - but still that extremely annoying bad side that consists of potentially walking across Joshua in the building. I am quite tempted to go and see Elena to give her my resignation letter right away, but for one, it would result into too many questions that I don't want to answer. And then... Allan might be right. I shouldn't let my private issues interfere with my career... Pierce Construction is definitely a company where I like to work, but am I only capable to deal with having to meet its CEO?

I am soon distracted by a ping coming from my laptop and a little Lync pop up.

Ally: Morning...! Glad to see you're back! I need to talk to you.

Well that's good for her... Talking to Ally means having to go to the 21st floor and I'm not doing that!

Ally: Now, Liam! She insists after two minutes.

Liam: Morning... Can't talk to you now...Tons of things to do...

Ally: Liam, I really need to discuss with you, please come upstairs!

Liam: I'm busy. I can't.

Ally: Liam... I swear you'd better be in my office within the next five minutes.

I close the pop-up window and set my Lync status on Do Not Disturb. At least she won't be able to send me messages anymore. Damn, she can be so stubborn sometimes. What does she want with me anyway? Why can't it wait until lunch time? Huh... Now that I think about it, that could be a trap. What if Joshua asked her to call me upstairs to talk? I am not falling into their trick... There's no way I'm going to have a conversation with Joshua any time soon. But then I realize that Ally doesn't know about us... much less about our break-up... Would Joshua have told her about us in the end? Argh, I'm getting paranoid...

Sighing, I roll my chair back and get up to go and make me some coffee. Just when my mug is about to be filled, I feel a presence in my peripheral view on the right and I almost jump in surprise. Relief invades me when I notice that it is only Tony... only not being very appropriate right now. The tall man closes the other door that leads to the open space and I watch him go and stand by the opposite entrance of the coffee room, blocking me any escaping way. His expression is the same as usual, blank and serious, and I can't tell what may be on his mind.

"How have you been doing, Liam?" he says softly.

"Good..." I reply in a similar whisper, not trusting my voice as the lump grows back in my throat.

"Forgive me for not trusting you," he comments sarcastically.

"I'm not asking you to trust me..." I reply a bit boldly, forcing my way past his huge shape and being cautious not to spill my coffee.

"Liam...," Tony says as he rests a firm hand on my left shoulder. "If you need anything, you still have my number, right?" I just nod in answer, not turning back to look at him. "Good. Liz is sending her kindest regards, by the way..." he then adds and walks away toward the lifts, not giving me time to answer.

Jeez... What was this about again...? Fighting the urge to run and hide in the bathrooms, I scurry back to my desk and decide not to dwell on all these emotions I am feeling. First Allan... then Ally... now Tony... and Liz somehow... who's next? Well the next one comes in the person of... Ally again. After Tony left, I spent the next six hours at my desk, concentrating on my work, deliberately missing the lunch break. Edna popped in my office at four to warn me that she was leaving earlier today to attend a medical appointment and one hour and a half later, I am myself about to call it a day. Well that was before a certain vixen barged into my office and locked the door. I watch her, completely flabbergasted by her obvious irritated expression, pull the key from the lock and shove it into her bra... her bra!!! Now seriously...????

"You're not getting this key back until we have spoken!" she almost spits out, clearly angry. What the hell have I done wrong?

"What are you talking about?" I ask her as she walks further into my office and sits down on a chair across from me.

"What is going on?" she asks bluntly, folding her arms across her chest.

"What do you mean?"

"Liam, I'm not stupid, okay? What is going on with Joshua?" she insists.

"I don't know what you're talking about..." I persist, unable to avoid a blush on my face.

"Liam... listen..." she then says a bit more softly. "I know about Joshua's... lifestyle... and although he hasn't admitted anything to me, I know about you two, or at least I guessed. I'd just like to know what is going on at the moment..." she almost begs.

"There's nothing going on..." I reply in all honesty since there is nothing between Joshua and me anymore. "And I still don't know what you're talking about," I add, feigning ignorance.

"Argh Liam! You know that you can trust me... please tell me..."

"I don't have anything to say, Ally... and I'd like to go home now. Please give me the key," I ask as I stand up and put on my jacket.

"You're not getting it until you have spoken to me..." she grumbles.

"Fine... I actually don't have any plans for tonight and I'm not the one having a baby waiting for me at home..." I say bitterly, yet with a lot more insurance than I would have thought. She suddenly realizes that I am indeed not the one having some obligations at home and gets up from her chair, pulling the key from her cleavage. She goes to unlock the door resignedly and opens the door.

"Liam..." Ally whispers as I am about to walk out. "Joshua hasn't been in since last week-end... and I haven't been able to reach him over the phone. He has missed some very important meetings and calls. I thought... I thought you might have been able to tell me what is going on exactly... Tony hasn't said much..." she says in a suddenly very worried tone. I am quite surprised to learn that Joshua hasn't been in the office at all... Well, that can't be anything serious or Tony would have told her. That's not my job to tell her anything anyway, so as best as I can, I take a blank face before I look back at her.

"That's not my role to tell you, Ally. And that's not my problem anyway..." Right then, her Iphone rings and I just have time to see Joshua's name displaying on the screen. "Now you can ask him..." I just add and hurry to the elevators while she takes the call.

As I sit into the train on my way back home, I can't help thinking about this short conversation I had with Ally and about what she reluctantly revealed to me to make me talk. Why wouldn't Joshua be in the office? My departure can't have affected him since he doesn't love me... So, was he sick? If he were, he would have called her to let her know, right? Well, I don't want to dwell on these thoughts because I have enough to deal with my own issues. And Joshua's issues are definitely not my problems!

Published on 8 Nov 2016

Edit: Just saw a comment from Elsie on the screen of my phone and realized that I never posted the pic of the 15th floor, so here it is.
Sorry for those who already read this morning and thought there was another update already with this new notification. Next one will be on Thursday :)