twenty five
"and still it finds me here"

The eve had come too quickly for her liking.

Another day gone, another day closer to the edge of the cliff. There would be no stopping when they reached the edge. Running then plummeting. Falling to her death where it waited to catch her, open armed and open mouthed, fangs sharpened just for her.

Oh, how sweet victory would be.

A drop of honey on the tongue. A rose petal in the wind from the gift of a lover. A pretty little ribbon tied up in a bow. The first kiss of a new love.

The phoenix wanted to lap every morsel of joy up and boil the life from its bones. To force the broth still bubbling down the mortal's throat.

Casia could feel those talons holding her down, cutting right into her muscle a she writhed and screamed against it, clutching its legs with her burning hands as she fought. But it laughed into her face as the soup went down. She choked and spluttered, turned her head away. The soup ran scalding down her cheeks and chin, burning her skin as she spat out the bitter liquid.

"Let it happen," The phoenix seethed, twisting its talons inside of her, tearing flesh and carving its name into the bone. Writing its riddles and its rhymes, making its mark on that which should never be torn. "Just let the power in, Casia!"

"No!" Casia sputtered as she twisted away again.

Losing its patience, the phoenix took her by the neck and stared her in the eyes with its own raging golden pair, twin suns sunken into the face of the devil. It's head tilted to the side as it breathed in her fear and sunk a single talon into the base of her neck.

"It will be easier for the both of us if you just let me loose," He said, a wicked smile at his mouth when Casia clamped her mouth shut to contain the cry of pain as he turned the talon in her neck. "Let me out of my cage and we can rule the universe. It is our birthright, sweetheart."

"I can't," Casia choked out, clamping a hand around one of his wrists, gritting her teeth against the fire that consumed her forearm. "I don't want to."

"Oh, but you will in time," He replied and, with one quick flick of his wrist, he tore her throat out and stepped away to watch the scene.

Casia's eyes bulged as her hands flew to her neck, a futile attempt to stop the blood flow. But it was no use. It splurged between her fingers, ran down her wrists as she gaped her mouth open and closed, not finding the energy within herself to scream in horror as her very life force pooled around her and she fell to her knees.

"You're running out of time, dear."

Casia tumbled forwards and lay at his feet, dying.

-

-

All she could see was flames. Fire and fury consuming her, lurching up her veins and bounding across her skin. No part of her body could move beyond her mouth and eyes. Her entire body itched, but it was an itch that went untended as her limbs were locked in place at her sides. Unmoved.

It was as if her mind raged while her body surrendered. Waved the white flag of defeat as it lay motionless, a traitor to itself.

And then from the flames emerged that familiar face that haunted her every living, breathing hour. Beak clicked and clacked as he came close. Ran his blazing fingertips down her cheek, slow and steady. Torture as she tried to squirm away. He did not speak: only grinned down at her wickedly.

A smile full of fury, warped with gold and ichor.

That smirk fractured at the low rumble of thunder in the distance, replaced by a frown as he dropped his hand from her cheek and glanced over his shoulder.

"Casia!"

She could hear it as clear as day through the roar of the flames. Thor's voice was unmistakable even when the phoenix attempted to warp it, to hide it from her.

There was no hiding what had already been found.

"Casia! Again, he called her name. He was closer now. "You need to fight back!"

"I can't!" Casia cried out, but now her body lurched to life as her back arched in pain, the forest fire surging up her spine to pull her back into its grasp. "He's too strong."

"You're stronger," Thor told her; begged her to see the truth where it lay fractured and broken at the bottom of the pit. "You have to be stronger."

She drew in a shaking, ragged breath as her lungs fought through the smoke. Again, her body writhed. Under the pressure, it was as if all her bones were cracking and snapping inside of her as she was being bent to the will of the force inside of her. Shaped into the vessel to rule the world through.

"Don't leave me," Casia wheezed out, pain overcoming her as her eyes fluttered, vision coming and going.

"I won't," Thor replied, distressed at his inability to help, "I promise."

"Thank you," Casia breathed as she squeezed her eyes shut at another assault wave rocking through her body.

When the wave completed, she slowly opened her eyes, her breath heavy, but she could see him. See him right there beside her bed, looking over her with despair.

And she could feel him. His hand clutched hers just as tightly as she gripped him, fearing the worse and hoping for the best with every jolt and writhe of her living corpse. Fingernails cut in as the pain consumed and brutalised every inch of her that was brilliant and pure, nausea wrapping around her stomach and squeezing.

"Oh, God," Casia spluttered as she lurched over the side of the bed and emptied her stomach, body heaving and shuddering.

Thor rubbed her back in soft circles. "It's okay, Cas, you're going to be okay," He told her gently, ignoring the potent smell of the black expulsion, "You're going to fix this."

When she sat back and dared to look, she could see the pool of black vomit seeping into the cracks of the wooden floor. The sight made her head swim and her body retch once again, expelling the little left inside of her while that force cackled with glee.

She wiped her mouth with the back of her wrist and slumped back into the bed, defeated.

"I don't want to die," Casia said quietly as Thor pulled the covers back over her, tucking them under her chin.

He looked at her with a pity she hated and yet was infinitely grateful for. She wouldn't have wanted anyone else to have seen her in her weakest hour, though she supposed it was inevitable that others had bore witness.

Thor sat down on the edge of the bed and pushed black hair from her sticky forehead, brushed away her tears as they fell, and responded, "You are not going to die to this, Casia. I... We're not going to let you."

Casia smiled thinly, the act odd upon her grave face when she said, "Time is running out for me, Thor, and I'm terrified."

"I know," He admit, retracting his hand. Casia's movement was slow, but she grabbed it back and held it tight within her own hot hand. "But it's okay to be scared."

Casia wheezed a laugh, her head rolled to the side. "It's okay to be scared," She repeated as her grip on him loosened and her eyes slid closed once again.

Thor remained for a while just in case the nightmares came rushing to continue where they'd left off, but she seemed to be too exhausted to dream. The universe was cruel, he decided, it was cruel to do such a terrible thing to such a golden-hearted woman.

But even the cruellest hands had reason behind them, he just couldn't figure out what reason could justify internal torture.

The answer he always came back to was that there could be none.

There never would be.

-

-

Casia didn't move from her bed for the rest of the day. While hunger gnawed at her like a dog to a bone, the fear of vomiting that black gunk again left her bed bound.

Every now and then, Delilah would enter the room to check on her. The first few times, she seemed to be expecting she would find a dead body sprawled amongst the sheets in a Shakespearean manner, but the times after that she only brought plain bread and water.

While she would sit up and sip at the water, the thought of the bread made her mouth grow hot and sickly.

Delilah would sweetly try to encourage her, but Casia just couldn't bring herself to eat. The maid did not push and instead offered to run her a bath to relax in. That was something Casia could get behind, so she agreed and thanked the woman whose kindness had begun to remind her of her little sister. With every smile, she saw Vega a little more.

Casia lay back with the bowl of bread on her lap and the glass balanced on her chest, holding it there as she took steady sips to re-hydrate.

The door creaked open and Thor poked his head around the door, a smile overcoming his expression when he found that she was awake, even if she looked utterly deathly. The colour of her face was drained and her eyes hung heavy, lacking the spark he knew and admired.

"It's good to see you awake," He said and strode across the room to settle into the arm chair he'd previously pulled to her bedside.

"I feel like death," She mumbled in response and rolled her head on the pillow to be able to look at him.

If she was death, he was life. Between his golden hair and brilliantly blue eyes, he truly was godly. And he had the heart to match with plenty of room for loving and caring everywhere he went. In her daze, she wondered if there was a place open for her too.

Thor smiled softly and the sight was enough for her to find it within herself to match the expression.

She took the glass from her chest and put it on the bedside table as she sat up in the bed, thanking him quietly when he moved to help her. His fingers were cool on her blazing hot skin, immediately soothing in a world flooded with fire.

"I wanted to thank you," Casia said, folding a hand over his where it still lay upon her skin, "if you weren't there... well, I'd hate to imagine what would've happened."

Thor turned his hand to hold hers softly. The heat radiating off her was incredible, enrapturing even. There was something that sparked a curiosity in him when he was around her. He never knew if she was going to rattle out a joke or bore into him with molten eyes and seriousness.

Today, those brown eyes were flecked with gold as she met his gaze.

"You could have done it without me," He told her as she laced her fingers through his and pressed herself further into the mound of pillows, "You would've been okay."

Casia smiled sadly at his undying optimism and said, "Y'know I really don't think I would've." She pulled her hand away from him, folding her arm over herself. "Let's just hope Lusine comes back soon to finish what we started."

"She is still going to train you even after your fight?" He asked, cold where she had moved away from him. He frowned through the disappointment.

"I spoke with her before she left and she didn't seem mad at me," Casia replied, growing hotter as his gaze flickered across every feature of her face, "so, I guess she is."

"That's something at least," Thor said, standing. "I'll come and visit you again soon, Cas," the nickname made her heart lurch from the grip of the phoenix, a grin plastered across her colourless lips, "get plenty of rest."

"Thank you, Thor," She said wearily as she sunk back down between the covers to doze before Delilah came to fetch her for a well deserved bath. To revive her and bring some colour back into her cheeks. Now she understood why Lusine bathed often instead of quickly showering.

There was something about letting the water consume your body that was a little relieving as it washed away the grime and the horror from the skin. A temporary fix was always enough in times like these. Times when it felt as if the world was closing in, walls caving to block the exits in a world with very few ways out.

And if she didn't find one soon, she wasn't sure she ever would.

-

2230 words
19.6.18
probably won't be many chapters left until Lusine returns now...