thirty two
"somehow, the future shone"

The eve after the battle was not one of tremendous celebrations as the Asgardians stood upon the riverside to watch the pyre of their Queen leave the shore to ascend to Valhalla.

Lusine stood alongside Thor as he said his silent goodbyes to his mother as her body was set alight to bring an end to the darkness around them by flaming arrows that rained from above.

Without a word, she reached down and took his hand, squeezed it gently and released again, just to let him know that the pain would fade and the mother he loved would never be forgotten as lanterns glowing in the night sky rose with the bringing of Odin's staff.

All eyes watched as the sparks lifted from the pyre as it floated over the top of the waterfall. The sparks were golden: a terribly sad beauty reached the heights and became one with the stars.

A funeral fit for an honourable queen who died selflessly.

The air was sombre as the crowd drifted away from one another. Thor off to do his bidding, to seek revenge for the treasure he'd lost. Casia to find rest. Olea and Florian to have a quiet evening of discussion, wine and reading.

But Lusine found that she did not wish to sit in silence when there was something unsettling that bit at the foot of her soul with pointed teeth.

She let that creature lead her by the hand all the way into the dungeons where the hollowness echoed inside the empty cells like vibration to a skeleton's rib cage.

Even her cousin had escaped in the mess of the events that had transpired that eve. Cathal would, undoubtedly, have returned to Remulan during the chaos and Lusine had no plans to ever follow. To do so, would be kissing death upon the mouth, grinning even as it sunk fingers into the heart and ripped it from the chest, still beating.

But, fortunately, one cell still held its captive.

Lusine's bare feet were hot against the stone flecked with blood, like freckles upon the youthful, toothy face, as she stood before his cell. She stepped right up to the clear wall of magic between them and swallowed as Loki turned to face her, jaw tight and face hard.

Though he appeared to soften at the sight of her, clearly not expecting her visitation.

"You do not need your illusions with me, Loki." Her voice was clear as she rose a hand to the magic. It trembled beneath her fingers, but she knew she could overcome it, thanks to the refreshment to her system through the unfortunate series of events that had transpired.

As his illusion dropped, her heart broke clean in two. This was not the seductive trickster she'd met many moons ago. This was a broken man. A boy who'd lost his mother.

He sat against the wall, hair wild and eyes raw. He had not yet spoken, but she could see all the questions behind his expression, perhaps at her presence and at her appearance that was unlike the flawless woman he'd stopped himself from loving with a whole heart.

She blinked through and appeared within his cell. At the best of times, teleportation took a lot of energy and could not be done numerous times in a row, but in her current state, it took more. Lusine stumbled to the side, but caught herself on the wall and slid down to sit beside him, pale faces matching.

"Odin did not let you attend the funeral?" Though her question fell flat upon her tongue as a statement rather than a question.

"No," He replied, hands gripped together on his lap.

Lusine sat up, though her stomach lurched, and pulled her legs beneath herself. When her eyes searched his gaunt face, he could not turn away as he too searched hers. Hated the criminal who'd carved her skin.

"I do not have much of my power left right now. It is returning, but slowly. The chaos of the battle helped but... I'm still drained so I was unsure whether to come to you. I didn't want to get your hopes up if I failed, but I thought it was better to try and potentially succeed than not to try at all." She explained her thought process with more words than necessary, but he was far from caring.

Her presence was enough. He could have sat in silence with her just knowing that there was still a soul in the world who cared whether he lived or died.

"Try what exactly?" Loki questioned, his distraught expression moulding with confusion.

"I realised that you were not at the funeral for your mother and I thought that it would be cruel to keep from you that final moment. I think I can show you my memory of it so that you are able to experience the funeral too and allow yourself closure," Lusine said and reached forward to push hair back from his face. "Do you want me to try?"

Loki nodded beneath her scarred hand. Soft skin brushed against her rough palm and a pang shot through her for the lonely man sat beside her. If she were a woman of the past, perhaps she would have fallen in love with him through pity, but that was no way to love.

Lusine swallowed. He watched her throat bob and then held still as both of her hands came to hold the sides of his head, as gentle as a butterfly landing atop a beautiful flower, bright with life.

And then he felt it. That magic, her magic, slipped into his mind and latched on with powerful jaws. His breath escaped him and he was there. He was right at the front of the attending crowd to watch the pyre of his mother burn beneath the night sky and, as always, she carried herself with utter grace.

When it was over, their eyes opened and met, both brimmed with tears of gold.

The princess before him swayed a little, her skin paler than before. With a grimace, she leaned back against the wall, head rolled to the side with eyes barely open to focus on him as her magic spluttered inside of her.

"Thank you," He breathed as he managed to keep his tears at bay.

Lusine smiled softly. The act allowed the trickle of blood to spill from the corner of her mouth. She reached to wipe it away with the back of her sleeve and frowned at the black smear where it had stained the pretty white shirt.

Loki shuffled closer and she allowed him to pull her ragged locks of hair from her face and push them behind her ears, though his fingers got caught in knots and dried blood that crumbled beneath his touch. She let him stare at the scars she'd tried desperately to ignore behind curtains of hair and layers of pretend.

"What happened to you?" He asked, his fingertip gentle as it ran along the more vicious scar of the twins. The deeper gash healed to the best her body could ever manage.

Lusine did not flinch away. There was no shame where Loki was concerned. He knew every detail about her, witnessed her downfall, and had grown to understand her darkest aspects.

"I made an almost fatal mistake in deciding to venture home," She replied, though no shutter came slamming down over her eyes to prevent his own from gazing into her soul. "My mother branded me a traitor to the throne and proceeded to attempt to murder me. My own blood painted the walls I grew up in by the time I mustered the remainder of my power and teleported myself all the way here, back to Asgard, where I was found by one of your many guards as I believed I was breathing my final breaths."

Lusine's bottom lip trembled for a moment before she sank against him, head on his shoulder, in search of comfort.

"You are not a traitor, Lusine," Loki told her, his hand brushed over her hair and came to rest upon her shoulder.

"Look at us. Fate well and truly ruined us," She whispered as she tilted her head to look up at him with eyes like the moon. "But I told you I would always come back to you." A wry smile found its way onto her mouth and, in a flash, he was back to the Winter Ball, back to the first time they'd kissed and he'd never known someone could taste the way she did.

He could taste every sin and enjoyed every single flavour, but had stayed for the passion she'd given to him without question.

And there she was tucked right under his arm once more, still finding it in herself to beam up at him as if he were the stars that lit her skies.

"I suppose some things never change," Loki replied and squeezed her shoulder lovingly.

"Some things do. Both of us have changed and sometimes I truly believe that it would be better if we never saw one another again, Loki," she peered at him through her dark lashes, fearful of his reaction, but it seemed he had finally come to terms with that truth, "but the universe seems to keep bringing us back together."

"We should have been the perfect double act," He said, knowing this to be undeniable. "Chaos and mischief as one and the same."

"Sometimes what we believe to be perfect doesn't work out that way," Lusine responded, a sombre tinge to her tone, "and I think it would be better for us and the worlds if we drew the line under what our whirlwind of a romance was."

"I agree," He said, but his muscles tensed beneath her, "though I suppose that notion shall be easier for you now that you have found heart in the Captain."

"He was a great help to me when I was losing myself. When all that defined me was you and chaos. Now I know who I am and who I want to be." Lusine reached for his hand and wrapped it within her own, ignored his thumb as it slid across the white scar on the back of her hand. "And I love you, Loki, I always will. Never forget that truth."

There was something so simple in the way they stared at one another, warped to another world where only they existed in this intimate moment of closure. He knew this was it. This was the moment he truly lost her for good and he knew that he would kick himself until the end of time for pushing her away.

"But I'm not in love with you anymore," Lusine finished, but her cold hands remained tight around his as if she would hold him there until he acknowledged everything she'd just said.

He wondered if she could see the ache on his face at losing yet another shot at happiness as he nodded and replied, "I had a feeling that was what you were going to say."

"If you ever get out of this prison and find yourself someone new to love, don't push them away." Now her eyelids were heavy as the puddle of magic pulled her into slumber. "Please never push them away because there isn't a chance of ever coming back from that."

He remembered all the fights they'd had, his anger, his pain, his selfishness, and couldn't help but agree. However, he also knew she spoke for herself. Perhaps they'd both pushed one another away in their own deadly ways.

"I'll try my best," Loki told her as he watched her eyes slide closed, a sunset on the ardent blue oceans he was undoubtedly in love with.

Her breathing slowed, and her head rested upon his chest as if they were once again those passionate lovers who plotted murder over wine and made love in the golden hour.

He wished that were true, but knew that she would not be turned back to him from the way she'd spoken absolutely clearly of where she'd buried her heart. No longer did it rest in his garden. Now she held it in her own palms, held it close to her chest as she waited for the right receiver who would treat her better than he ever did when he was more a boy than a man.

This was closure, but he was still on the other side of the locked door, looking in as the woman walked away from him on the arm of another.

-

2130 words
13.7.18

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