thirty eight
"the chaos doesn't sing for me anymore"

Upon her return to Asgard alongside Thor, he assured her that everything would be fine and that their act of treason would not land her in the dungeons.

With a cheeky smile, Casia replied, "Well, even if they tried it, I'd just cook them alive in their metal armour. Very good at conducting heat, you know, but the smell? Not so great."

Thor laughed and clapped her on the shoulder, managing to find her humour grand even in his grief.

"I wouldn't expect anything less from you, Lady Casia," He said, neglecting the nickname he'd given to her once upon a time. That neglect sent her heart plummeting. It slipped between her fingers at every attempt she made to slow its fall. Never quite able to catch it, hold it back.

She swallowed the feeling and forced her smile wider. Hoped the curtains were drawn tight enough to block out the light.

"It wouldn't get that far anyway. You'd save me. You're quite the hero these days, it seems. Saving one more damsel in distress shouldn't be a problem for you," She joked, nudging him with her elbow as they walked down the BiFrost.

Again, he laughed his infamous booming laugh that rattled the stars where they slumbered. If jokes and laughter would help him get through his loss, then she would do everything she could to make him happy.

Casia knew first hand what grief could do to someone. It could completely and utterly ruin them. Wash over them like a tsunami and leave nothing but decimation behind. A shell of the life that had once thrived on its shores. To either be rebuilt or left as a ghost of what had been.

"I am sure you're quite capable of saving yourself these days." He glanced over to her. His blue eyes shone with a pride she was surprised to see. "Truly a force to be reckoned with."

"Shut up," She retorted, her head tilting to the side as she regarded him. That grin faded into a pretty little smile he knew he shouldn't appreciate as much as he did. "I'm far from being a force. More unpredictable than I should be."

"But you're making progress," He pointed out and wrapped an arm around her shoulders, squeezing her into his side as they reached the end of the BiFrost. "That's all that counts."

Casia looped her arm around his back, over the top of his cape. "Thank you," She replied, indulging in his touch while it lasted.

He'd barely been able to look at her for so long after they kissed, but now he was acting like it never happened, and she didn't know which was worse.

"Jane seems like a lovely girl," Casia said finally, breaking the comfortable silence between them in two with her mention of the ravine struck in the middle of her and who she wanted with all her burning heart. "She'd very lucky to have you in her life and you're very lucky to have found someone as loving as she is. That's rare—"

"Cas, I—"

"No, let me finish." She sucked in a breath as he withdrew his arm from her and she retracted her own. Instead, she forced her fists deep into the pockets of her blood covered trousers. "That kind of love is rare and if you really do love her as much as she loves you then I'm not going to stand here and drag you apart, but just know that I want you to be happy especially after... after everything. So, I hope she makes you a very happy man, Thor, I really do."

"Thank you," Thor replied, stopping where their paths would diverge: him to his father and her to Lusine. "I hope you find someone who can make you happy too. You deserve it."

Casia's lips pulled thin. "I hope so too," She said honestly. "Thank you, Thor."

-

-

She hadn't stuck around to watch, or let, him walk away from her. Instead, she'd been the first to duck away after she'd finally said her piece and rush up to her room where she intended to take an eve of rest and relaxation before continuing training with either Lusine or Kyrie on the morrow.

She wouldn't let the day's events get to her. Not when she'd accomplished so much and was, undoubtedly, proud of herself.

With every cloud, there's a silver lining.

The new-found range of control on her magic was her silver lining to the tragedies of the day. Between the untimely death of Loki Laufeyson and the attacks of the Dark Elves, she'd been victorious over the burning pit of rage that threatened her on a daily basis.

That was definitely something to celebrate, whether she did that alone or with company.

But, waiting for her was her room. It was definitely her room from all the half-read books left around on whatever surface had been closest when she'd grown tired of the literature. At the same time, it was different.

In the centre of the room was a single, small round table. Its surface glass and reflecting the light spilling in from the hallway, illuminating the only thing that sat there: a letter with her name scrawled across its front in hasty ink.

Casia closed the door behind her, the room dimmer for it, and crossed the room to take the envelope into her hands. It was sealed with silver wax, printed into the likeness of a wolf as it ran. All power and precision.

She pulled the seal open and took the letter locked within. Eager with curiosity, Casia scanned the contents once then, after not believing what she's read, went back and read it a second and third time.

My dear friend, Casia,

I'm sorry to inform you of my departure from Asgard. The decision was made only hours after my own return to Asgard in the wake of Loki's death and I wanted to go as soon as possible before I changed my mind again.

If I had seen you in person, you would have, one way or another, persuaded me to stay. It's not in my best interest to continue to aid you when I'm not in top health. I have arranged for my cousin Kyrie to continue your training. She knows enough about magic and control to be able to help you with that as well as your general fitness and fight.

I hope that you can forgive me for my failure, but Midgard is where I need to be for my own good. I want you to know that I have every faith in you being one of the strongest fighters to walk the galaxy. So, when it starts to feel like you're walking through hell, keep walking. Always keep walking.

Best wishes,
Lusine Volkov

While she'd always expected Lusine to give up, she'd also always expected to be angry about it. To feel as if she wanted to punch anything and everything to get that frustration out of being abandoned.

But none of it came to her.

Whether it was from exhaustion or understanding, Casia set the letter down and found herself happy for the woman who'd tried her honest best to better Casia's life. She'd done all she could, and, despite her own words, she hadn't failed in the slightest.

Everything Casia knew about her power had come from Lusine. Without her, she'd be in a lot of trouble. Probably would've killed a lot of innocent people before being deemed too dangerous to continue roaming free, or even living.

For everything, Casia silently thanked Lusine. Wished she was there to hear it face to face to be able to understand just how much good she'd done, was capable of doing.

She earnestly hoped that Lusine could find her happiness on Earth. Could rebuild herself to whoever she'd been before her life had gone downhill. Could heal.

Casia curled into bed that evening and fell asleep almost instantly, the exhaustion of being so close to a burn out overcoming her. And she slept all night at peace. Content with her life, even without the one person she wanted to be in it as something more so badly.

She'd lived without him before and she could do it now.

In fact, she could do it in her sleep.

THE END
finished: 5.9.18
-

1392 words
5.9.18

epilogue to follow...