Most people get defined by their actions and life styles in the past. I think who someone is, isn't about who they were in the past but who they've became because of their past. Like the saying goes 'Its not about the mistakes that define us, it's how we fix them.' I'm not sure who said that other than my foster parents.

My first year of college was easy, bland almost.  Vanilla ice cream, people would say. I passed all my classes and made a lot of general friends. My best friend who was initially my roommate in the dorms, became my social ticket. Jordan Beers was the one who taught me how to live. How to dress for a party, take shots, flirt with guys. She helped me become who I am. Before her, I was everything my foster parents had molded me to be.

Being a foster child let people think they know a lot about me. Things they read about in pamphlets or online. Like 70% of foster girls are pregnant before 21. I'm 22 and never even had a scare. 1 of 2 foster kids will suffer from substance abuse. I just drink wine causally. Then there was the overwhelming amount of questions about family. How you got into foster care? What do I consider my foster parents? Do I have any siblings, real or foster?

That's was the hard part about being a foster child, I was constantly reminded I wasn't true to the family. I always knew I was a foster kid. They never lied to me. Santa wasn't real, nor was fairytale endings. That's how they'd tell me everything, even my arrival wasn't sugar coated. My foster parents were good people, they just believed that I had already been through so much, I didn't need more lying. I appreciate their transparency but it left little room for the imagination.

All of my life I'd always felt beside myself. Like I wasn't a true person. Being at college has taught me how to be a real person, even if I'm in the background. Nonetheless, I was invited to parties and went on a few dates. I found the true Devin Soulstin.

College was the time of finding yourself or better yet finding other people. Who you hang out with. Like high school there were clicks, jocks, book nerds, burn outs, populars. We all had a group, it was our job to figure out where we belonged.

I wouldn't say I really belonged to just one group. I belonged with the book nerds, the partiyers and the no ones. I filled multiple shoes and had a lot of friends. That's what college allowed me to find.

Jordan and I had similar personalities but she was much more out going than me. In check out lines she would talk with the people around us or at fast food places she'd ask others what they liked to eat. At a party people asked her to play games, I just hovered in the background. That's what was happening now. She was playing beer pong and I was just wondering the house. I always found myself being nosy in other people's lives.

The house was filled with empty beer bottle and cans, streamers, drunk people and loud music. I found myself drinking a beer in the living room. I sat in a chair by myself and played games on my phone. A group of people walked in. They were the bad boys. The one that everyone wonders about is Theo Axel.

Theo Axel, he was a bad boy, every girl dreams about. Smoked cigarettes, drank liquor. He wore leather jackets and slicked back his hair. He was tall, tan and trouble. The perfect trio. He had a following of three hot friends and a cloud of mystery surrounded them. His friends, Ace, Daniel and Xavier had all been friends since high school. Theo wasn't from around here. That's what made him so appealing. Our eyes locked. Just then Jordan came stumbling in.
"Devin!" She yelled over the room. My heart stopped for a moment but I smiled at her.
"Wow, look at you. Drunk." She smiled widely. "You wanna get pizza?" She nodded her head sloppily. I knew Jordan would always get pizza while drunk. That was her go-to food.

I drove her car to the nearest pizza shop. She sat in the passenger seat with the window down yelling joyous remarks out the window. I laughed at her. Jordan had always been a fun drunk. When I got drunk I was quiet and reserved, more so than I am now. Jordan only seemed to blossom more.

Helping her out of the car, Jordan and I stumbled into the store front.
"Hello!" She almost yelled. I hushed her out of habit.
"I'm sorry, she tends to yell." The girl at the counter was familiar. I think she had waited on us a few times before. She just simply smiled at us.
"I want a sardine and pickle pizza!" She declared with her hand in the air. I gave her a strange look before I turned my attention back to the girl at the register.
"Never in her life has she ordered that pizza. She hates pickles." The girl giggled. Her name tag read FAWN. "Cheese and pepperoni pizza will do." The girl nodded and hit a few buttons on her screen.
"$10.67" she told me.
"Can I give you 5 dollars for it?" Jordan tried to bargain. I rolled my eyes and sighed in my purse for cash.
"Sure." Fawn said. My attention snapped to her. "The rest of it is on the house." Jordan slapped a worn $5 in her hand.
"Why would you do that?" Jordan sat down on the floor to hug my leg. I ignored her.
"You guys come in here a lot and are always so nice." She smiled brightly. "Plus she's funny." I laughed a little in amazement.
"Well, thank you." She nodded.
"Pizza will be ready shortly." Fawn disappeared into the back. Jordan tugged on my shirt sleeve like a child. I looked down to her.
"I like her." She whispered into my thigh. A smile briefly crossed my face. I lightly stroked her hair.
"Me too." I said softly.

We got the pizza and climbed back into the car. By now Jordan had calmed down and was falling asleep. I liked to drive, especially Jordan's car. I glanced at her. She clung tightly to the pizza box. I knew all the toppings were starting to slide but she reclined her seat back. I decided to take the long way home.

On the drive home I watched the town around us. Jordan was asleep in the seat next to me. She wasn't in a deep enough sleep to snore but also wasn't in a light enough sleep to open her eyes every time we braked. The town around us felt the same. It was stale. Parties were still in rage but those who didn't party were most likely asleep.

After eating half the pizza I got Jordan to bed. I put a bucket next to her bed like always, just in case. I sat on the couch in the living room, aventure stirred in my stomach. With Jordan being passed out drunk in her room, I couldn't leave. I'd have to settle for some tv and a glass of wine.