Kayson's POV:
"Kase? Kase buddy can you come out here for a minute?"

I curled into myself further, turning so I was facing away from the door. I'm tired, I just want to stay here and sleep. Why won't they just leave me alone.

"Kase? Kayson Hawkins open this door and come and eat something right now!"

Good cop bad cop routing again. I guess you really can't teach an old wolf new tricks and now she's knocking on the damn door. Someone people really can't take a hint. My silence is not an invitation to continue to bother me. A closed door is not just a closed door it means leave me alone.

"Eva! Go down stairs and cool off. Go."

I heard Eva grumble as she stormed off down the stairs, I don't know why she's so pissed off. It's not the first time since I started living here that I have chosen to stay in my room and it won't be the last.

"Kase, it's just me bud. Can I come in please. I just want to make sure your okay, you've been in here for awhile now."

Yeah awhile.

I don't know why they're knocking and shouting through the door it's not like I've locked it, I don't even have a lock.

"I'm coming in Kase."

*****
I watched as Alec...no Antonio walked away from me and out the room as if we hadn't just kissed, like what we both know was about to happen didn't happen.

I wanted...I don't even know what I wanted.
*****

"Hey. I know you said your not hungry but I've brought you something just incase you changed your mind. Kase; will you please explain to me what happened in the Alpha's office."

Why does he still ask about that? It was two years ago and he still asks what happened but I'll always give him the same answer.

*****
"My name is Antonio. You want me to stop; I'll stop. ... My father is dead Kayson. He's dead and so is the man you knew. You don't know me and you never will. Make sure your gone when I get back."
*****

What happened; the person I love most in this world hurt me.

"I told you Car, I tell you every time you ask nothing happened Ale.. Antonio and I just talked and then he told me to leave end of story. Nothing more happened okay."

Nothing happened.

*****
"Kayson where are you going he told us to leave? He just needs to cool off so he can grief properly. Come on he'll be okay."

I can't just leave him. I just can't bring myself to leave him by himself. He...I love him. I love him and not just because he's my mate but because I've always had feelings for him.

"I can't just leave him Liv. He needs someone to be there for him."

I need to be there for him. I need to be close to him, to comfort him so he knows he's not alone. I went to head back up the stairs when Liv reached out and grabbed my arm.

"Kase be careful, he's not in the right mindset and he might say or do something he might regret."

I just nodded and jogged up the stairs. He's my mate he'd never hurt me. I spotted him heading back into his father's office and I quickly ran after him. I gently reached out for his arm and he growled shoving me against the door.

"Alec?"

His eyes were a dark midnight blue instead of his aqua sky blue eyes making a shiver run up my skin.

"Don't."

He shoved me one last time before he made his way into the office. I followed after him I don't like that dark look in his eye.
*****

I don't know if I regret following him into that office. I don't think I would have regretted following Alec but Antonio...what am I saying Antonio is Alec and Alec is Antonio, two sides of the same coin and they still broke me.

*****
"You don't know me and you never will."
*****

"Kase? Talk to me please I just want to help, I care about you bro. You barely leave this room and when you do your come home battered and bruised, your not eating, you barely talk to anyone it's like your... it's like your being rejected."

A growl escaped my lips, that's...he can't know. No one can know.

"I'm fine Car. I..I just miss Gio that's all. He was more then just an Alpha, he was like my father. I guess Al...Antonio and I just handle our grief differently. I haven't found my mate Car so I can't be going through the rejection process okay. Look I'm going out for a walk okay, I need to clear my head."

Instead of making my way to the door I headed to the window and jumped out. Eva would have just stopped me if I went through the door so the window will have to do it's not like I haven't been sneaking out this way whenever I go hunting anyway. Thank the Goddess for Werewolf genes, no broken bones for me.

I ran my hands through my hair tugging at it before I took off running. It's stupid of me to even try going for a run I'll just get tired soon but I need to get out from under their feet.

Ever since I've moved in with Eva and Carlos I just feel like a burden. No one knows how much rejection hurts until they go through it. When the grown ups used to tell us how mates are important and that rejection has been known to kill wolves they failed to mention how painful it is. I feel drained every day, I just want to curl up in a ball and cry myself to sleep. I need to feel physically pain but even that isn't enough. Getting beat up in the ring some nights used to help but now there isn't any point.

There is no point to any of this, to this life.

I wasn't ready to mate with Antonio but that didn't mean I didn't want to be marked. He's my mate and he just told me to leave like I was nothing. I tried to tell myself that he was just grieving for Gio and everything got out of hand but he didn't even try to come and talk to me. He didn't do anything just shut himself away sending other people to do his dirty work. I guess we are alike in some way.

I found myself knelt in front of Gio's grave. I'm the only one who visits him, I don't see or sense anyone else near here. I traced the words written on the headstone.

'Here Lies Giovanni Andreas Du Luca Griffin
Beloved Father, Devoted Husband, Loyal Brother, Merciful Leader & Courageous Alpha.
Nothing Is Ever Settled Until It Is Settled Right.'

"I wish you were still here. I don't know what to do anymore Gio. I just wish he'd...I don't know how to help him. Hell he won't let me, I know he won't. It's like he's two different people, he's not the man I knew and I don't think I'll ever know him. Please tell me what to do. I'm lost and alone, Jeader doesn't know what to do because Caden won't talk to him either, I can't tell the others without telling them what happened. Maybe I should just disappear, I shouldn't even be here but I am and I really don't know how I'm still alive. Sorry I'm rambling you were always so easy to talk to, even when I couldn't find the right words. Thanks Gio, I'll see tomorrow okay if I'm still here."

Why did he have to die?

"Hey bro, I thought I'd find you here. Alpha Gio. I should start visiting him more often huh, I think you might be the only one."

I wiped my eyes and turned to look at Carlos. He gave me a sad smile as he sat down beside me squeezing my shoulder. I'm not surprised he followed me, I swear I've noticed his presence following me more and more as these months have gone on ever since I came home that one night.

"I just find it easy to talk to him. It's almost like I'm talking to Alec. You know you don't have to follow me Car. I know your there for me and I'll try harder to make an effort. I just miss him."

And Alec.

"I know you do. I miss the old man too whoops sorry Alpha. Do you remember when Alec called him that and Gio was stood right behind him. I swear I don't think I've ever seen Alec jump so high and go so pale it was like watching a cartoon character."

I chuckled along with him as I remembered Alec's reaction.

"Yeah it was priceless and then when he told Alec he had to run laps around the house. Alec ran out the door so fast it was like his ass was on fire. He always knew how to make us all feel better didn't he; no matter how much pain he was in after Luna die."

Gio was always a strong Alpha, calculated, merciful, brave. He was the finest Alpha I'd ever seen.

"Maybe once Antonio meets his mate he'll change. Alec's still in there somewhere we just have to wait and hope, he'll come back. He's stubborn just like Gio, he can't be 19 & Cold forever I mean he'll be twenty soon."

I rolled my eyes at his poor attempt to make a joke. I know he's trying to cheer me up but I know he can see I'm faking my smile more and more as time goes on.

"Right I suppose we better get back. I've got an errand to run for Mr High and Mighty and Eva wants you home for dinner. Please humour her and have something she won't stop chewing my ear off about you not eating. I love her but I'm just about ready to send her off to work at Fallen Horizon I hear Holly's swamped down there."

I crack a small smile for him before I pressed a kiss to my fingers and gently pressed them against the headstone.

"I'm coming Car, I'll see you tomorrow Gio."

I whispered as I climbed to my feet. I gently patted the headstone before I turned and followed after Carlos.

I guess I'm not as alone as I thought.

Kayson's Wolf Jeader.