Kayson's POV:
Pain doesn't make you stronger.

It builds up and mixes with all the different emotions like loss, regret it all just becomes your own personal hell.

I felt it, the pain cut through me like a knife when I felt Antonio mark someone else. I felt my legs buckle under me as I fell the ground, a howl rippling its way through my throat.

How could he do that?! How could he just mark someone else?!

A low growl escaped my lips as I pushed myself up off the floor. Is this what you want Antonio?! To broke me; you did that two years ago. To make me run to you; I won't. I love you but that isn't enough for you is it?

"Kayson? Kayson are you okay?"

I quickly wiped my tears away before I stole a glance at myself in the mirror. I looked like shit, my eyes are red, my skin is pale and my hair looks like a bird's nest.

Eva knocked on my door again and I shuffle closer to the door. I couldn't open the door looking like this she'll know something up.

"Yeah Evie I'm fine look I'm going to bed night."

I heard her sigh before the sound of her footsteps retreating was the only sound I could hear. I'm sorry Eva but I can't tell you what's going on, I can't tell you the truth.

I don't even know what the truth is anymore.

I dropped onto my bed just staring up at the ceiling. I'm sinking into my personal hell faster and faster by the second. I can't get out of the pit I've been thrown in, I'm digging and digging trying to find a way out but I'm just sinking deeper and deeper. He doesn't love me, did he ever love me? Was it all just an act? Does he know what happened to me and want nothing to do with me?

*****
"Well we've got a show for you tonight folks, in the red corner we have The Wolf and in blue corner we have The Master."

*****

It was a stupid idea, well it wasn't at the time. At the time it felt good, it made me feel better. I bruised and cut open my knuckles, I broke bones I let myself go. I brought pain to other and took the pain they dished out. I could cope with the physical pain, I needed to feel something anything other then sadness and betrayal. I couldn't deal with the mental pain but the pain I got from the fights it made me feel strong.

*****
My fist collided with the jaw of my opponent. His head flew back into place in a second and I was amazed he did get whiplash. He hit me in the centre of my chest nearly knocking me to my knee. Fuck he's strong as fast. It was certainly a change of pace to the usual people I go against.

He kicked at my legs landing a punch straight into my jaw sending me to the floor. I wiped the blood off my bottom lip and watched as my opponent's eyes darkened at the sight of blood.

I growled allowing my claws to extend kicked up off the floor. I ran towards my opponent I just about managed to run my claws cross my opponent's face before he sped off. I span round to and ducked just in time to dodge his next assault. It's time this backwards and forwards game to ended. I pounced barely managing to pin my opponent to the ground. I growled feeling my eyes flash wanting my opponent to submit. My opponent just smirked at me and before I I knew it I was pulled off my opponent.

He stood in front of me wrapping his hand around my neck still smiling before he shoved my head to the side and bit down into my neck; everything just went black.

*****

I ran my hand along the side of my neck as I remembered that night, the night of my accident if you could call it that.

I could still feel the scar, it was a constant reminder of what happened, how stupid I was to not walk away when I realised my opponent wasn't a werewolf or witch or human.

All I could think about that night was how Antonio told me to leave like I was some old toy he had grown bored of.

The second I left the house I fought opponent after opponent trying to drown out his words and what had happened. With each fight I felt strong, better less alone and then I faced The Master.

Jeader was whimpering in my head begging me to go home, to go back to Antonio or to Carlos just anywhere away from this so called Master. I had heard of the Vampire Masters how they kidnapped people and sold them into slavery in their auction houses. How they had wolves and humans begging to work for them. Giovanni told me how he wanted to put an end to it all but a vampires bite is deadly to a werewolf. The venom was strong enough to kill a werewolf just as a werewolf bite could kill a vampire. Blood was the only thing that was known to cure the bites but even then it didn't always work.

*****
I opened my eyes to see I was alone on the cold floor of the ring. My throat felt dry and I felt sick to my stomach. My hand reached up to my neck and all I felt was a scar.

My mind began to race, I was left to dead and yet I'm..I'm not dead.

I darted into the woods not sure what was happening to me. My body felt hot and cold, I could barely focus on anything. I couldn't feel Jeader, I called out for him but he didn't respond something felt wrong; what is happening to me?!"
*****

I still don't know what happened to me. That night I had changed but into what I don't know. I was a monster.

A monster who didn't feel in control of their body. Jeader came back to me but he didn't know what was going on, we were alive and that was that. I went again to the fight ring, covering my face each time I went as I was meant to be dead. I tried look for The Master that had cheated in the ring and left me for dead but there was not a single trace of him. I continued to fight in the ring whenever I needed to feel physically pain.

I covered the scar when I was around Car or Evie. I just added it to the list of things I couldn't tell them.

I took a deep breath and sat up on my bed. What the fuck am I doing?! I can't sit here anymore drowning in myself pity. I need to get out of this hellish pit I've thrown myself into.

I need help to get out of this hell. I need to be the strong man I was before. The strong man I worked hard on becoming before Gio died. Before Antonio made me feel like I wasn't worth to be his mate. My parents tried to break me, the kids at school tried to make me weak but Alec wouldn't let them beat me. The friends wouldn't let me crumble, they helped me become a worthy Enforcer for the pack.

An Enforcer is meant to be strong, they are meant to fear no one and be prepared for any and everything. To protect the pack at all cost, to be prepared to torture our enemies to save the lives of our pack. Our enemies should trembled in our presences.

Right now people would just laugh at me. They wouldn't take me seriously, I'd be a joke once again.

*****
"Kayson, you have to remember what type of man you want to be. Forget about the pack right now, forget about your parents, the bullies, your friends, Alec, me none of our opinions matter in this moment right now you have to decide, who you are and what you want to be."

I knew he would find me out here. Luna showed me this place after I came to live here. She told me that it was peaceful and it allowed you to think, I guess she told the Alpha that I like to come here.

"Collette liked to come out here. She often told me that when she needed to find herself again that this spot set her mind at rest. I can see know why she liked it so much. You know she used to say that fear makes you stronger, that no matter how much pain is burying you under when you close your eyes and sit quietly in a peaceful place your mind clears and fear can't touch you anymore."

I miss Luna she was so strong, she took everything in her stride.

"She said you weren't afraid of anything Gio and she always hated how you'd just run into danger."

Alpha lightly chuckled beside me gently wiping his tears as he stared at the lily pond. The old bench creaked as he stood up, he placed his hand on my shoulder giving it a light squeeze.

"Remember what I said Kayson. You will always be apart of this family, this pack but the decision of what you do next is up to you."

*****

I pushed off my bed and jumped out the window sprinting off in the direction of the hidden garden behind the Alpha house. I paid the house no attention as I continued on my path now is not the time to be thinking about Ant being in that house.

I found mine and Luna's bench, my hand ran across the old wood making a genuine smile creep up onto my face. I set about pulling out the weeds and cleaning out the lily pond before I sat down and enjoy the peace. No memories, no problems, no voices in my head reminding me of what has happened just peace.

I know who I want to be; I want to be Kayson Hawkins Enforcer and Second Beta to the Midnight Horizon Pack. I will not hid anymore it's time I take my place and be the man I need to be.