Please excuse ANY grammatical errors.

October 7, 1996

~Dalvin's P.O.V~

I woke up feeling like I was drowning and gasping for air. The moment I opened my eyes, Derek was standing above me with a half-empty cup. I sat up with a headache. The water up my nose caused me to cough. "Fuck is you doin'?"

"You's a bitch ass nigga." Derek said frowning.

"First you try to drown me out my sleep and now yo stupid ass callin' me names and I ain't even did shit. Why⁉️" I said wiping my face.

"You fucked up BIG TIME and I should beat yo ass for this!" He threw the rest of the water in my face.

"I don't even know what the fuck I did!" I'm very confused and fucking mad. "And stop throwing shit in my face!" I said punching his arm.

"I'm tired of you. Pops and De got into an altercation because of yo dumb ass. De ain't EVER talk to pops the way he did last night. Shit got heated because of you and he was blamed again. He ain't do shit. You a bitch for showing up like that. All y'all niggas bitches. I'm not finna go through this same shit with you! I'M NOT! You either straighten up or imma beat you straight!" He said pointing at me. His finger came closer and closer to my forehead until he held his finger against it.

"Fuck you cursin' so much for⁉️" I said moving his index finger off my face.

"Did you hear what I said or do I gotta say that shit again⁉️" He said coming closer.

"No, I didn't even know- I don't even know what the hell happened," I said moving back.

"Who shows up to a SOBRIETY celebration DRUNK as hell⁉️ You ain't have to party that HARD yesterday or ANY DAY!"

"It was expected. Pac invited me! He said that shit was bumpin' and that I should ride through." I told him.

"Looks like you need to stop hangin' 'round Pac and them, don't it? How you gon' get at him one minute about him getting drunk and high, then you turn around and do the same thing⁉️ You sound dumb as fuck. RIDE THROUGH!? You ended up gettin' comfortable and settled in."

"I-"

"Nahh, let me finish! You want us to find you how you found De one day? Is that what you want? Huh? Now speak!"

"Why would I want-"

"Then I suggest you stop!"

De came into the room and stood at the doorway. "You up? Good. You dismissed." De said calmly. He also looked tired as hell.

"What the hell you talkin' 'bout?" I asked De.

"Now, that you've sobered up overnight, you can leave my crib. That's what I'm talkin' about." De told me in a laid-back tone.

"I can go?" My head jerked back in shock then I faced Derek. "I got a hangover and this nigga yellin' at me." I pointed.

"Okay, go. I said I was done with all this shit. You wanna do it, that's you. But for me? I'm done. You apologized to me then drunk more before dinner. I found that shit in the bathroom. You know I don't keep shit like that in my house no mo'. I fought hard with myself on my one-year anniversary date. That is until I decided to pour it all down the drain. I love you, I really do. Until you change, I'm done with you. All of y'all." De's voice was calm as hell. "I said it change, and I am, but I can't when I got the same people who do it. I'm not tryna go back to what I was."

I threw my legs to the side of the bed. "You really gon' do me like that?" I asked with a deep frown.

"For my own good, yes." De nodded this head. "I'm trying to keep up with with what I been doin'. It's been a hard task and I'm not havin' nobody around tryin' to fuck it all up. Derek, you should tell pops. I would but me and him beefin' at the moment."

"I'm not. I'm supposed to be yo brother, BY BLOOD! You leave them niggas K-Ci and JoJ alone? Okay. But yo blood brother, that's fucked up!" I said getting even madder.

"I'm happy y'all made it here, but I don't have time for this shit. You're dismissed, brother." He said and walked away shaking his head.

Derek looked back at me. "He's right. If you stick around people who do the things you're trying to avoid, you're most likely to relapse. So, yes, I agree with De. Now, I won't cut you off because I don't struggle with those things. But Imma is on yo ass like white on rice. You gon' stop this shit. You hear me?"

I ain't say shit because I can't believe DeVanté would do some shit like this. "That's a fucked up thing to do to yo own brother," I said shaking my head.

"Well, gon' 'head and go. You heard him." Derek gestured towards the doorway.

"You can't kick me outta shit that ain't yours Derek." I got up and started walking. "Where my keys?" I asked Derek.

"You got up though, didn't ya? And your keys are wherever your drunk ass left 'em last night."

"That's the thing, I don't remember..." I replied trying to think.

"That's why you need to stop," Derek said slickly.

"I get drunk a few times and now one brother wanna disown me and the other one is cursin' me out and trying to drown me."

"You drown in liquor a lot. What's a little water gon' do? What you drinkin' so heavy anyway?"

"Nigga! You ask too many damn questions! Help me look for my keys." I told him.

"Okay!" He snapped.

Derek and I looked around for a while but still couldn't find them. "I forgot, here goes yours keys!" De said walking into the room and tossing them to me.

"You let me look all this time and you had them?" I asked him. DeVanté laughed at me and walked off. I went outside with Derek on my tracks. K-Ci and Jojo were out there looking list as hell. "He kicked y'all out too, huh?" I asked them.

"Yup," JoJo replied lowly.

"Yes! Where the fuck is my car!?" K-Ci said with the same lost expression on his face.

That I remember doing. "I picked you up on the side of the road and brought us here."

"Again, where's my car?" He asked me.

"I'm pretty sure your car has been towed if it's been left on the side of the road," Derek told him.

"You got me shit towed!?" K-Ci said walking up to me. "Now, I'm gon' have to find out where the fuck it's at!" He threw his hands in the air in frustration.

"To protect yo ass. You was drunk as a skunk!" I yelled at him.

"As if you got room to speak..." Derek told me.

K-Ci sighed, "Well, give me my keys and take me to it." He held out his hand.

"That's a problem. I don't got yo keys. I left it in your car and the door is locked."

"You payin' for my shit to get out. I KNOW for sure that shit is towed." K-Ci said in frustration.

"If he didn't do that, you'd most likely be payin' for your life." Derek squinted. "Thank my brother. No, thank my brothers. One saved your life and the other one allowed you to sleep in his house even though you was disrespectful towards him. Wit' yo disrespectful ass."

"Nigga, you don't know me like that, so I suggest you shut the fuck up talking to me. I really don't have time. Can you unlock your door?" K-Ci turned away Derek and turned to me.

"You don't have time to respect someone but have all the time in the world to drink. That's an excuse and pure bullshit. You don't wanna go there wit' me man." Derek scoffed and shook his head. He was trying to intimidate K-Ci.

"Oh, nigga, let's definitely go there. Shit, I don't mind." K-Ci said walking towards Derek.

Derek isn't a fighter but he can beat your ass if you step to him the way K-Ci is doing right now. Derek stood there just waiting for K-Ci to do something. It's already a bunch of bullshit going on and this don't need to be added to the list.

"Come on, man." I grabbed K-CI's arm and pulled him to the car.

"Yeah, you don't want none of this!" K-Ci yelled at Derek after I pushed him in the car. "Bitch made ass, nigga!"

"Yeah," Derek's chuckled, "Okay." He said standing in the same place. Jojo shook his head at the situation
I got in the car and drove off to avoid anything further.

"I'm tired of yo ass," I spoke after a few minutes of driving. "You been real disrespectful to everybody in your view lately. I didn't have to get you out that car yesterday and De ain't have to let you stay. I'm starting to notice that you don't appreciate SHIT."

"I appreciate everything people do for me. What I don't appreciate is y'all actin' different." K-Ci replied.

"Different? The only one who changed is yo ass."

"Y'all DeGrate's don't take accountability for shit. Y'all blame everybody else but yourselves." K-Ci said laughing.

"Yeah, whatever nigga..." I told him and drove the rest of the way in silence.

I was silent but K-Ci kept on talking. I tuned him all the way out and flicked the radio on. His ass kept on going. When we made it to the place where I left his car, there was a tow truck driver hooking up K-CI's car. As soon as he jumped out of the car, I drove off. In the rearview mirror, I saw him running to his hooked car and caught up to the tow truck Shit got me laughing my ass off.

October 10, 1996

~LaZardia's P.O.V~

Daryl, Yasir, Masir, Ashari, and I are all going over to my daughter's house. She's back in town and I want to see the pictures or videos of the proposal. My daughter is a bit difficult but I'm happy for her. I will always support my daughter as long as she's not doing anything wrong. I love both of my children dearly.

Both of my children aren't really as close as I want them to be. Yasir is eight years older than Tia and I think that's one of the reasons they aren't close. The other thing is that they really don't have much in common with one another. They were both pretty quiet kids and are pretty much the same now. They both are stubborn as hell, but sweet people. They would both do things for people if they ask. Saying no is hard for them especially Tia.

I love how quiet the house always was. When the church members would come over to my house, they'd ask where my kids were and they'd be in the room quiet as a mouse. Even when I had other children of the family over, it was still pretty quiet. As children, they were more close. Yasir would help her with just about everything until she started to do things on her own. The cutest thing ever is a young Tia calling Yasir, brother instead of his name. It was the cutest thing ever and I love bringing it up.

My daughter is strange and has always been that way. I remember the first about me hearing that she wanted to kill herself. She was young and wrote it in this one-inch mini diary thing. Only I told her that diaries weren't allowed in the house. She couldn't have been younger than the first grade at the time. My niece came across it one day and showed it to me. I was confused and asked her why she wrote it but it took her a while to answer me until she finally answered that it was because I yelled at her. Now, that was the oddest answer I've ever heard, especially coming from a child.

There were like two or three occasions where she told me something like that. Another time she told me this was when she was in the sixth grade. She was doing bad in school and I as well as an aunt had to go up to the school to see what was going on. The teachers would say she was crying a lot and would sit alone. She would stay quiet even with everyone in her face questioning her. She was about to fail the sixth grade for the second time.

I never could understand why she failed in the first place because I knew my baby was smart. She was answering questions at a young age that Yasir couldn't answer as a teenager. The teachers even say she was smart. When they'd call on her, she would answer every time, even when it seemed she wasn't paying attention to what was going on. When she and I went home that day, I asked her, of course, it was after whooping her. 

I had to keep asking her until she told me again that she wanted to die. I told her that I never wanted to hear her say that again. That night I kept her in my eyesight and made her sleep in my room. The next day I let her sleep in her own room, but that door wasn't allowed to be shut. Now, I don't know how to handle a child that has suicidal or claimed to be, so I handled it as best as I could and knew how.

How do I know she was smart and being lazy? Because the next semester she made all A's and B's. Sixth grade was the LAST time this girl got bad grades. She's been on the honor roll since. Tia is still making good grades in college. This girl is on the Dean's list. She was never a problem at home, it was always at school. There was another time when I whooped her and I asked if she wanted some more. She said yes and I kept ongoing. I kept asking her if she wanted more and her answer never switched up until I decided to stop because it just didn't seem right.

It was things like that confirmed that there something was wrong with her. Why didn't I get her checked out? I think I was in denial. I don't know. I think most parents are in denial and don't want anything to be wrong with their children. So she wasn't always this closed off, it started when she was in elementary school.

"You okay?" Daryl asked me from the driver's seat and turned the radio down.

"I'm fine," I nodded.

"I wonder how he proposed. That shit better been good." He laughed.

"He seems like a nice guy as well as his family. I'm sure it was a good proposal. He's always doing nice things for and to her." I replied.

"If he ain't, it's gon' be me and him." He laughed jokingly. "But for real, he do seem like a nice dude. Every time I spoke to him I listened and you can tell a lot from a nigga from him just speaking. Yasir said the same thing."

"Yeah. I'm happy that he treats her right and she ain't wit' a ugly ass nigga." I said laughing.

"I thought she would end up with that other dude though. He seemed like a nice dude too."

"Yeah, but now he got this weird look to him," I said shaking my head. "I'm happy that she with who she with."

"You DO know that you can't control who OUR daughter decides to be with, right?" He turned his head then looked back at the road.

"I can't but I can hope."

Yasir on the other hand was completely different in a mental sense.  He was more social than his sister. His friends are his cousins while Tia distanced herself from everyone. Yasir had some problems at school and a bit mischievous at home. He would get into trouble whenever he was with his cousins. Yes, it took him a little longer to get on his feet but at least he did it.

I wasn't the best mother, but I always did the best I could and put my kids before myself. They are my everything. I appreciate everything she's done for me, I just don't appreciate how Tia doesn't come to visit me or call. I always thought she'd be the one that visits me the most but it's Yasir that comes to see me most. I love that she has a father figure, a positive one, and one who's around. It's just that she is closer to him than me and that doesn't seem right to me.

I met Daryl at the casino in Gary more than a decade ago. He was a part-time dealer (card dealer) on break and I was walking around trying to find another machine. We ended up bumping into one another and the rest of our meeting is history. I hadn't dated anyone since Tia was born. Why? Because I didn't trust any man around my kids and especially my daughter.

Daryl didn't even meet my kids until right before we started dating. They took a liking to him as well as everyone else in the family. Some a little TOO much since I had some of my own sisters trying to get with him. I'm not surprised because that was done to one of my close sisters by those same sisters. It's crazy how your own family can be the ones to try or sometimes do stab you in the back.

We've been married going on three years now. I never imagined myself getting married to anyone. I didn't even think I'd be in another relationship but it happened. We have our arguments like every other married couple. I say hurtful things sometimes that I shouldn't say when I'm angry and/or hurt. Me throwing in his face that Yasir and Tia aren't his children is wrong. I know he can't have children due to him being hurt in the military.

We pulled up to Tia's gate, the guards made a call then opened it to let us through. We're her family, so why do we still have to go through all of this?

"Thanks, man," Daryl said then drove through the gate. Yasir and his little family are behind us. We drove towards the house then Daryl parked.

"I STILL don't understand why we as her family have to be called in before entering." I shook my head.

"Please, don't start up with this again or start-up an argument with nobody when we get in there. I know y'all got y'all differences but today is not the time, Bird."

"No, some things I need answers to and are long overdue." I got out of the car and stepped onto the pavement.

Daryl shook his head at me. "Please, just leave it. At least for another time?"

I ignored him and kept on walking. I went up the stairs and to the door as it flung open, revealing Tia. "Hi, mama. Come on in. I'm surprised to see you here."

"I'm surprised to see you too," I replied. She gave me a hug, then pulled away from me.

Tia shifted her eyes and saw the others. "Hi, y'all." She waved at them walking towards us. I walked into the house and took off my shoes and jacket. The others made it inside as well and exchanged hugs. Tia grabbed the baby from Ashari. "Hi, baby." She said tickling him causing him to laugh. We walked to the back room where everyone usually hangs. That front room, also known as the all-white room, of hers, is just for show.

"What brings y'all by?" Tia asked us sitting down on the rocking couch while holding the baby.

"To see yo very distant behind of course," Yasir told her with a chuckle.

"I'm not distant, I'm just busy." She rolled her eyes playfully.

"Too busy to see your family?" He asked her.

"No," she squinted her eyes, "it ain't like I NEVER speak or see y'all. I do what I can."

"I know but-" Yasir was cut off by Daryl.

Daryl gave Yasir a look, then turned to Tia and asked her a question. "How you been? How was your trip?"

"Yes, girl. Tell us about it. You had fun?" Ashari asked Tia.

Tia's expression changed from serious to excited. "It was fun! We had a great time. Spain is very beautiful. The only problem was the mosquitos. THAT was the ONLY problem and I'm doing just fine."

"That's good but-" This time Daryl was cut off.

"We wanna know how yo man proposed and where?" Ashari said cutting straight to the chase. "Was it romantic?" She cheesed.

"Yeah, it was romantic." She nodded with a cheesy grin.

"And?" Ashari raised her eyebrows in anticipation.

"And?" Tia gave a confused look.

"How did he propose, and where exactly?" I butted in.

"It was on our anniversary and he was acting nervous all day. Actually, throughout that whole trip, he was acting off. We were outside at dinner when it happened. The view was beaUTIful. I said yes of course." She held up her finger with the ring. "That's all." She shrugged. "Y'all want some food?" Tia asked quickly changing the subject.

"Why you tryna change the subject?" Daryl asked her with both eyebrows risen.

"Because I'm hungry." She replied playing with the baby. "I can order some food because I know for a fact that what I took out is still frozen. I could order some food if y'all hungry?"

"Gon' 'head and order something then lil guhh." Yasir told her.

"Boy..." She rolled her eyes at her brother. "I'm in the mood for some seafood or chicken." She walked off with Masir on her hip.

"That girl is lyin' about somethin'," Daryl whispered.

"I don't think so," I replied shaking my head at him.

"You haven't said much of anything all day. I'm surprised." He laughed at me.

"Don't start nothin', won't be nothin'." I turned my head away from him in the direction I was looking at before. He laughed under his breath which made me turn back to him. "What's funny?"

"Because THAT'S a first with you." He said now laughing louder.

"I wanna laugh too!" Yasir said from across the room.

"Mind ya bid'ness, son! Mind yo bid'ness." Daryl yelled at him.

"A'ight, Ashley Banks." Yasir waved him off. (That Fresh Prince episode was funny as heck.)

Tia and the baby came back into the room. "Why are you so distant?" I asked her.

"Honestly, I don't trust y'all like that to know things about me. Y'all talk too much and don't wanna listen! Now, I have much more at stake and this industry is a dog-eat-dog world. Y'all tell everybody in the family EVERYBODY'S business that's supposed to ONLY be between me and the person I talked about those things with. Not to mention those people tell other people. I definitely don't trust the other family members with my business!

"If I don't want the family to know, what makes you think I want the public to know? There's already a supposed insider selling my business to the media that's been doing it for years now. So, you want to know? There's my answer..." She shrugged then sat down with the baby. He's surprising being still and playing with her hair. "I been told y'all some if not MOST of this before I became who I am today. Whenever I speak to other family members, they bring up things I've only told you two about. I'm glad that it wasn't TOO serious."

"What did we tell people that caused you not to trust us?" Yasir sat up and put his elbows on his knees.

"Right, because I don't know what the hell you- boffa y'all talkin' 'bout!" This conversation done pissed me off.

"Look at Tay, he got molested- RAPED for years and y'all, but mostly his mother told EVERYBODY in the family. That's something SO PERSONAL. That's probably the reason he hid it in the first place! Who WANTS EVERYBODY they know to know something like that. Then to be blamed for it because it was a girl who did it to him. He was a CHILD who didn't know any better or know anything. Perfect example." She finished.

"I ain't ever told nothin' that personal though. Correct me if I'm wrong." Yasir squinted.

"Not to my knowledge because I don't have much contact with the family."

I shook my head at my daughter because she doesn't make any sense. "What is it that's so personal you feel you can't tell your own mother?"

Tia chuckled lowly. "Read between the lines, mama. Then again, no... I'm good on that. What you don't know won't hurt you."

"Anybody did somethin' to you or somethin'?" I frowned.

"My goodness! Where's a rocket scientist when you need one!?" Yasir threw his hands up to the sky. "I can't be blamed for what she say or do!"

"Y'all both gon' lower y'all gotdamned tone! I do that give a fuck how old y'all are OR who the fuck y'all is! This is still yo mama!" Daryl spoke up. Ashari was shocked because she had never seen him this way. She's used to the nice Daryl.

"I'm sorry," Tia told him and me. "But you can't expect me to be cool, calm, and collected when you have someone yelling at you." Tia then turned to Yasir.
"Yasir, did you just hear me? I said the both of y'all. I'm sorry mama, but I trust Yasir more than I trust you. It's sad but it's a fact. I still love you both dearly but my trust for y'all ain't there and ain't been since I was a child. I figured out that you talk too much when I was a kid. However, I didn't find out about Yasir until I was a teenager. How many times do I to say this before it's understood?" She laughed sarcastically.

"You expect people to know and sympathize with you but refuse to tell them what's wrongs. I don't get it at all!" I yelled at her.

"That's what I'm saying!" Yasir threw his hands in the air.

"That's where you're wrong! I don't want ANY sympathy, I just want peace! I'm tired of this mess. I'm dealing with it now with the help of a therapist and have been for a while now. That crap I'm holding would bring a lot of pain to you mama and even more drama between the family. Though I don't talk to the family much, I don't want MORE mess doing more damage. I told y'all that I'd rather deal with what I'm dealing with via therapy as a teen."

"Stop sayin' that. If you want sympathy. Just admit that! It's okay because it's a serious matter." Yasir told her. "You not sugarcoatin' much, so why should I? Hmm?"

"No, if I did, I would've been said something and even told EVERYBODY I KNOW. It's like y'all wanted to come here and start some mess. I was in my own PEACEFUL zone before y'all got here to disturb it. Now, I am through with this conversation..." Tia blinked her eyes at a rapid speed.

"So, you not gon' answer my question? Did somebody touch you?" I asked again. "I almost never seem to get a clear answer from you. There's ALWAYS a change of topic to avoid it. I want an answer today." I tilted my head.

Yasir kept moving his head, looking between the two of us. He then sighed loudly. "For God's sake, answer her!" Yasir yelled at Tia. "I'm tired of this!"

Daryl looked at Yasir and yelled. "Yasir!"

"YES, your daughter was touched and forced to do things to a family member for YEARS! Sometimes in the room NEXT to you. There!" Yasir said and sat back.

"YASIR!" Daryl and Ashari yelled at him.

The room fell silent except the baby babbling. I'm just sitting here shocked because I didn't know any of this. Yes, my daughter and I have had conversations about this happening within the family, but I never suspected it to happen to MY daughter. Tia closed her eyes but some tears still fell from them. I felt accomplished to know that nothing like that happens to my daughter, just to find out it did.

"Who was it?" I asked her with a call voice.

"It was-" YASIR was cut off by Daryl.

"YASIR, THIS IS NOT YOUR FUCKIN' STORY TO TELL! WHY THE FUCK WOULD YOU DO SOME SHIT LIKE THIS⁉️" Daryl stood on his two feet.

"Like I said before, she just wants sympathy. Now, EVERYBODY can sympathize with her. The cats out the bag, so she might as well know the name." Yasir responded.

"Ya- Yasir, you just pro- proved a point I just made. You talk too much. As I said before, I'm done with this whole conversation." She swiped under her eyes and focused on the baby.

"No, I wanna know WHO did that to you," I told her.

"Just leave it." Daryl shook his head at me. "This is not-"

"And you knew about this. Didn't you?" I turned to Daryl.

"Bird, I did but-"

"But you didn't tell me- her mother. I'm hurt by both of you. You for not telling me when I asked a million times and you for not telling me- your own wife." I said to both Tia and Daryl.

"Look, this wasn't my business to tell. I made a promise and I kept that promise, unlike some people." Daryl glared at Yasir.

"AHHHH, yeah! Blame me... This is long overdue for EVERYONE." YASIR told him.

"It wasn't everybody's business to know, Yasir. People just keep proving me right but I try to give them the benefit of the doubt." Tia shook her head. "What's next? You're going to tell the whole family, right?" Tia chuckled shaking her head. That question is directed towards me.

Author's Note: Would y'all keep y'all's distance from certain people for peace of mind, even if it means your brother, sister, mother, or father?  You've expressed to them the problem plenty of times, but they disregard it and continue with what they've always done. I say you have to do what's best for you to keep a healthy mental space.

Word Count: 5,250
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Thank you all for taking the time out of your day to read another chapter of this story. Thank you for staying despite the slacking.💚🖤❤💜💙💛